Car Humor

[wildbirdy]

Car Model Nicknames :Laughing_Face:

HONDA - Horsepower Option Never Did Appear
DODGE - Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
JEEP - Just Eats Every Part
PORSCHE - Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
FIAT - Fix It Again Tony!
FIAT - Feeble Italians Attempting Transportation
CHEVROLET - Car Has Excessive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVROLET - Cheap Heap, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
SAAB - Swedish Automobile, Always Broken
GMC - Garage Man's Companion
BMW - Big Money Waste
BMW - Break my Window
TOYOTA - The One You Ought To Avoid
BUICK - Butt Ugly Idiotic Crap Kicker
PONTIAC - Poor Old Nut Thinks Its A Cadillac
OLDSMOBILE - Old Ladies Driving Slow Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
ACURA - Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
HYUNDAI - Hope You Understand, Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
MOPAR - My Only Problems Are Repairs
PLYMOUTH - Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood
FORD - Found On Road Dead
FORD - Fix Or Repair Daily

I think I will keep walkin:happywave:

 

[wildbirdy]

To My Darling Husband

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not to bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home from Asda, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.
I am really sorry but I know with your kind hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweet heart. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.
Tracey
XXX

 

[wildbirdy]

Drive on....Classic Car Tale

A group of pensioners were discussing their medical problems at the Day Centre coffee morning.
'Do you realise,' said one, 'My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup.'
'Yes, I know.' replied the second, 'My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee.'
'I can't turn my head,' rejoined the third, 'because of the arthritis in my neck.'
'My blood pressure pills make my dizzy,' commented the fourth, adding, 'I guess that's the price we pay for getting old.'
'Well, it's not all bad.' piped up the first, 'We should be thankful that we can still drive.'

 

[wildbirdy]

View attachment 4777

 

[RobotFlamingo]

:O Where are the Skoda and Lada jokes!

(also, lol, nice jokes. (My parents have a '97 Fiat which is still running fine, they broke the stereotype with that one, haha))

 

[wildbirdy]

View attachment 4851

 

[Monster]

^^ Something's wrong with this picture: The car's rear is damaged, which usually only happens when another car crashed into it from behind.

 

[wildbirdy]

^^ Something's wrong with this picture: The car's rear is damaged, which usually only happens when another car crashed into it from behind.

Well get out the those trusty tools and fix it. LOL!!! Don't worry about coffee I will bring you some, better get busy.View attachment 4852

 

[wildbirdy]

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

On the comedy 'Seinfeld,' they once made fun of all these different names to parts of a car. The character George said "My mechanic said my car needs a new Johnson Rod. A Johnson Rod! Well!"

Just some more car humor for you.

 

[wildbirdy]

http://cruzintheavenue.com/CarsWeDrove.htm

 

[wildbirdy]

25 most absurd Driving Laws

You cannot live without some special traffic rules while on road, of course, but some of them are too crazy and absurd.
1. You cannot drive an ugly horse in Washington.
2. In Memphis, Tennessee, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.
3. In Utah all kinds of birds have the rights of way on any highways.
4. In China drivers who stop at pedestrian crossings may receive a fine or a warning under Article 40 of the Beijing Traffic Laws.
5. In Youngstown, Ohio, you may not run out of gas.
6. In Pennsylvania any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
7. You may not ride a camel in Nevada.
8. In California laws made it illegal to jump from a car at 65 mph.
9. It is also prohibited woman to drive a vehicle in house coat there.
10. When you want to catch a taxi in Johannesburg, South Africa, you must show “V” sign.
11. In Indianola, Iowa, “Ice cream Man” and his truck are prohibited.
12. In Hartford, Connecticut, you mustn’t cross the street walking on hands.
13. In Denver, Colorado, you must not drive a black car on Sundays.
14. In Alabama State you may not drive barefooted.
15. In the UK it is prohibited to drive a car without sitting in the front seat.
16. In Marietta, Georgia it is illegal to spit from a car or a bus, but it is quite legal to spit from a truck.
17. In the same town it is prohibited chicken to cross the street.
18. If you had no time to disrobe, do it wherever you like, but the car. It is strongly prohibited by the law.
19. Greece prohibits to drive a vehicle if you are poorly dressed or unwashed.
20. “You may not start a car if anyone is under it”, Denmark traffic law says.
21. Massachusetts driving laws forbid taxi drivers to make love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
22. All drivers in Turkey must take a medical bag up to 18st 12lbs.
23. In Florida you may not ride a skateboard without license.
24. Alaska laws made it illegal to tether a dog to the roof of a car.
25. In Kentucky you will be fined if your pet molests a vehicle.