DH and I have had disagreements about this several times over the 8+ years since we've been married....
Do you want to know if you need a shower or your breath could use a touch up....**If you're around the house and not going anywhere**
Obviously if you have a problem and you're going in public, then find a kind way to say it....but if you're just at home....
Is there a nice way to say it? How do you do it?
It really bothers me when he tells me...I guess it shouldn't....but it does.
Saying, "your breath has a little bit of **hmm**" Just doesn't sound nice to me at all. I guess I kind of want to know but that's not how I want to hear it.
There have been plenty of times he was a little sweaty and I didn't say anything, if he's just around the house, no big deal...he'll wash up sooner or later, not like its killing me or anything...But tonight he's like "You might want to take a shower soon." :gah:
Then we have a 30 minute argument about it...
he says he would want to know. I would never say that to him, it seems so rude.
guys frequently say something to 1 another when they stink . it's no big deal and we been doing it since junior high school. rarely do we get offended. you might want to give him an alternative phrase, "like we certainly could use some flowers in here". also give him the benefit of the doubt he's not trying to hurt your feelings. I'm sure he has a favorite fragrance that he likes for you to wear. that just might be his overall aim. generally we are not that clever.
If I'm not going anywhere and won't be seeing anyone other than DH or the kids, I usually don't care much what I look (or smell) like. These days, with a 4yo and a newborn, I'm lucky if I get a shower at all, and if I get to choose between a nap and a shower, I'll probably choose nap.
Oh and my DH an all DHs I think like seeing their women looking nice rather than in need of maintenance. My DH is also always very concerned with when my next moustache waxing is on the calendar...
My husband was born with very little sense of smell, lucky me. But I told him he stinks all the time.
He doesn't want to use deodorant, his armpits stink. He takes a shower in the morning before going to work, he usually gets pretty stinky after 8-10 hours of work/sweat. He would often lie if I ask before bedtime whether he has taken a shower or not. I was shaving his neck tonight, and suggested he should shave his armpits if he doesn't want to use deodorant, he was horrified by that suggestion.
HILARIOUS! I LOVE This topic...I am sorry you are offended though, truly! I am ALWAYS telling DH he needs to shower...his breath smells, etc. etc. And yes I would agree w/you it is how you are raised...in my family we NEVER beat around the bush w/each other...mom and dad are very direct and still are...then they wonder why my brother and I are so brutally honest as adults. I find myself constantly editing what I'm about to say since the truth so often bothers people...I don't know why...I can ALWAYS CRITICIZE MYSELF..I'll be the first to say, I'm fat, ugly, etc. etc. and I don't get easily pissed off if others say it to me...DH thinks I'm nuts and we've been together 8 yrs. In fact he gets OFFENDED if I even go back in and redo something he's done like load the dishwasher, fold laundry etc. I still have a hard time w/this..hang in there reporter.
It doesn't matter WHY it offends you/hurts your feelings, it just does. I'd feel bad if my husband told me any of that...but I'm a bit of an obsessive clean freak (when it comes to hygiene, that is) and he calls me 'the cleanest woman on earth', rofl.
I would want to know. Although it would bother the **** out of me.
Some times when DH is kissing me I'll tell him I can taste whatever his last meal was so he will go brush his teeth first. I don't think he has ever said anything like that to me, but I would rather hear it from him than have someone else thinking it.
I wouldn't mind at all; better than going around offending anyone (even if it is *just* your family). Last weekend I had eaten some crab dip and right after that went to help Mr. Marilyn with something he was doing on the computer. He acted all weird; like he couldn't wait for me to get out of his space. Then I went over and started talking to my 6 y/o granddaughter and she was like..."OMG, GRANDMA....YOUR BREATH!!!" So then I knew why Mr. Marilyn wanted me out of his face so badly. You really had to be there but it was hilarious.
I have no problem telling my dh he needs a shower if I think he is going out in public and isn't planning on taking one. Guess it is all the years I overlooked his stinkiness, but the man literally thinks he never stinks. He used to play football in high school and I would be so eager to see him afterwards I wouldn't give him time to shower. I never complained. Love will do that. Now, it's like..........you need a shower! As far as him telling me - yes, it would definitely bother me/hurt my feelings. I shower first thing every day unless I am sick in which case I would expect it to be overlooked cause I should be more important than that.
Yes. It's a courtesy for either of us to tell each other. Dh and I shower every morning. If we are going out that day or evening, or not, if either smell or have bad breath, we tell each other. It makes for better snuggling!:giggles:
...so...
...Y'all go shower and gargle, I can smell ya from here!!!:flowers: :snort:
