Fellow Soupers, please help me!!!

JHowse

Chief Talker
PF Member
I wanted to issue a call to arms and get any support I can. The issue is out of wedlock child support and government involvement. I believe that in wedlock, both a man and woman have responsibility to their children...even if the marriage ends. In an out of wedlock scenario like I am facing, I believe that if both parties want the child, then both should have responsibility. If, however, the woman wants the child and the man does not (my scenario), then the man should neither have any rights or responsibilities. The law does not see this. Basically, the man can be ENSLAVED, financially, by the woman, even if he wants nothing to do with the child. I believe that the government should NOT be involved in the affairs of out of wedlock child support.

Why do I believe this? Families who are financially struggling basically try to get the daughters to become pregnant at the hands of a well off bachelor with the intent to have a share of his wealth to live on. They do not spend this money on the child so much as on themselves. They use it to get things like nicer cars, stereos, TVs, and cell phones....hardly items that go to the well being of the child. It makes me sick to my stomach as the child still gets nothing. What if the man wants to be involved? The woman's family controls him and makes his life miserable throughout the entire experience.

If you feel this is fundamentally wrong, then you can help. I was sent this information by a friend and am soliciting any help. If you feel this is WRONG, then please post this EVERYWHERE!!!! I want all men who are faced with this nightmare to be able to stand up against the tyranny!!!

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I got some information for your friend. You and your friends can help him if you actually just write a letter on the internet to the following address. he subject all you have to write is we are against out of wedlock child support. Then just write a little message saying that you feel it breeds irresponsiblity and although both parties engaged in sex irresponsibly only one party decided to have the baby and the other party shouldn't be crucified for one mistake etc... To that effect. If he and his friends don't actually write something and voice an opinion, he has no chance at changing anything:

The e-mail address is:

hhspress@os.dhhs.gov

the snail mail address is:

Administration for Children and Families
7th Floor Aerospace Building
901 D. St. SW
Washington, DC 20447

You can also write to students@georgewbush.com and not vote for Gore who basically is a moron. Bush in Texas had a much more fair and sensible view on child support matters.

In any case, he has no chance unless you guys wage an internet or snail mail campaign stating that young Americans don't support government efforts and involvement with out of wedlock child support. Everything for kids of married parents should stay the same, make sure, it is specified as out of wedlock, you don't want to mess with the stuff for the wedlock kids. He can write one letter and get tons of people to sign it. It should point out that law can't legislate over a womans right to do what she wants with her body, and it should not legislate over the mistakes she makes with it either. Not to dismiss the man's involvement, but a man can't get pregnant and generally, the woman is the only one who gets to decide. Most kids from one night stands, I would say 100%, are UNWANTED. Scary statistics.


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Does driving a car from Saturn make me an alien?
 
Originally posted by JHowse:


Gore who basically is a moron.

Nice senseless attack by the way, making me less likely to support your cause, that i don't fully understand, even if i did believe in it. Which, i'm not sure if i do or not. Could someone try to explain it a little simpler?
 
I'm not really responding so much to your post cause you know my opinion on this. You have to take responcibility for the action you and she took together. You BOTH produced a baby, so the responcibility is both yours and hers. Unfortuneately it's a grey area with me on what happens if the mother chooses to keep the baby even if the father strongly disagrees. So I'm not going to take the time to argue that. But one thing I do know, if anyone uses child support money for anything else but for the good of the child then it is illegal. A friend of mine had that problem in his family. His father was paying child support and his mother was using it to buy her own medication and some frivilous stuff like decorative candles and a grande piano. He could have chosen to report this and get her into some serious legal trouble since that money was not to be used by her, but he felt bad cause she had some serious medical issues and the children were old enough to deal with the troubles on their own. She was a lucky woman, but she was doing things against the law to please her own self since she was not getting alimony.

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"I've been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding."
--Harvey Danger

LOVE ME LOVE MY DOG

<font color="#000000">[Edited by Lysithea on October 30, 2000 (edited 1 time)]</font>
 
Originally posted by JHowse:
not vote for Gore who basically is a moron. Bush in Texas had a much more fair and sensible view on child support matters.
[/B]

JH, saying something like this isn't going to explain to us why we should vote for Bush and not Gore, if you don't tell us what each of their views are on this subject.

Besides that, I strongly believe that if a man gets a woman pregnant, he's obligated to provide for that child until it turns 18.

I'm willing to help you with ideas for saving money, but not to get out of your obligations.

I'm not trying to be mean or anything but being a woman, I can imagine the torment I'd be going through if I were in her shoes... And more often than not, a woman who has an out of wedlock child ends up getting NO support from the guy.

I'm going to shut up now, before I start getting too argumentative--that's not my bag.
 
Nope, but I don't want another Democrat in the White House after seeing what Clinton did as a president (and seeing that Gore didn't do much of anything as a VP)...but that is another issue...

Have you looked at the child support laws? You should start doing some homework. It's turned rather Gestapo like. CSE (Child Support Enforcement) is prepared to chase a dad around the WORLD if he flees the U.S. In fact, some countries even have reciprocity with the U.S. Also, child support is enforced almost as badly as if they are doing a man hunt for a felon. It's scary. We need to get stuff like this OUT of the government because if they are willing to involve themselves in personal affairs, such as out of wedlock child support, then the government can then take over other personal matters. Be careful what you ask for, and REALLY REALLY READ and RESEARCH stuff. Do a search on child support enforcement. You'll be amazed at what you see. It's frightening. Men have put a gun to their head (or in the resulting insanity, commited murder, too) when faced with the hopelessness of paying exhorbitant child support costs or facing jail time (and forget credit ratings or quality of life). When people are commiting suicide and murder over this and thus preventing any chance for their children to know them, then it becomes a problem. The idea is to promote quality of life....NOT to stamp it out. I totally oppose such tyranny.

I agree that some responsiility should happen, BUT...it has gone TOO FAR!
 
By the way, Herman, I have the utmost respect for you. I mean nothing personal in my ranting or anything, and I really do appreciate your position. Believe me, I made an honest attempt to be a responsible father and got railroaded or bashed in every attempt. They basically wanted me to become a money factory. Why would they seem so hostile to me if they wanted me to be a father? Why do they keep acting with a harrassing tone? The negative pressure is literally driving me away from them. That makes me concerned about their intentions.

And yes, I am seeing a lawyer, Friday. I intend for my attorney to make direct contact and to establish all lines of communications using ONLY my attorney to proxy everything. The war paint is on, and the drums are pounding.

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Does driving a car from Saturn make me an alien?
 
JH, I do truly feel for you in this situation...I'm not taking your comments personally and I hope you're not taking mine that way either...

Basically the whole system has been screwed up by the deadbeat dads who refuse to help out the moms who really just need money to take care of the kids and aren't gonna spend it on themselves; and the moms out there who try to take advantage of the laws, like the situation you're in.

I've gotta believe that most people in this situation aren't in either of those groups....at least I hope that's the case *sigh*
 
Originally posted by JHowse:
Why do I believe this? Families who are financially struggling basically try to get the daughters to become pregnant at the hands of a well off bachelor with the intent to have a share of his wealth to live on.

and not vote for Gore who basically is a moron.


Oh, please. It seems like you've had a bad experience with this, but even still, it is your child, you are obligated to pay to support it, and I definitely agree.

A senseless tirade of abuse doesn't help your cause. Because you disagree with Gore doesn't make him a moron. And because you've now found yourself in a nasty situation, spouting off a load of propaganda about women trying to get pregnant to get their hands on your money...puh-lease. This is 2000, not 1850.
 
It's not helping to provide for the child that I hate. It's becoming an income source for the mother. You see? There are those out there who intend to milk the system, and the more I see this situation panning out, the more I sense this is what she wants to do. I will do what I am required to do, but from reading the laws, she owns me. I wonder if I can audit her.

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Does driving a car from Saturn make me an alien?
 
JH, that's a horrible situation, and I agree this woman has no business using child support money for herself...but changing the laws aren't the answer, because that would screw over a lot more people.

Have you contacted a lawyer to see what if anything can be done to make sure the money goes to the child only?

Oh, and before you're so sure having Bush in the White House would help you, don't forget his brother is your state's governor and it doesn't sound like he's done much to help you...

<font color="#000000">[Edited by hermanm on October 31, 2000 (edited 1 time)]</font>
 
As an outsider lurking in this thread, it seems to me that if someone dosen't want to take the responsibility for fathering a child(ie... providing for the child as best he can), he should not take the chance. I see that your worried about the mother using the money for herself and I can understand your feeling on that. Is it possible for you to step in and take partial or full care of the child to ensure that funds are not misused?

Sorry about this but, remember, it took two to make a baby. All of this was not possible without you....
 
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