- #1
Thread Owner
How To Shower Like A Woman:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any
exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and
stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine
even more about how you're getting fat.
4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, arm-cloth,
leg-cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey
shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey
shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey
conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on
hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
for 10 minutes until red raw.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa
Cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least
fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all
come off).
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini
area but decide to get it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes
the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray
mold spots with Tilex.
15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a
small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent
second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit.
Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
towel on head.
18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way,
cover up any exposed and then rush to bedroom to spend
an hour and a half getting dressed.
==================================================
How To Shower Like A Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your
girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her making the
"woo, woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck
in your gut to see your pecks. Admire the size of your
wiener in the mirror, scratch your balls.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't
use one)
6. Wash your face
7. Wash your armpits
8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the
shower.
9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your ****, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner)
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in
the mirror.
14. Pee (in the shower)
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to
notice water on the floor because you left the curtain
hanging out of the tub when you checked your Mohawk.
16. Partial dry off.
17. Look at yourself the mirror, flex muscles. Admire
wiener size.
18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the
floor.
19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your
waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the
towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby" and thrust
your pelvis at her.
21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get
dressed.
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any
exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and
stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine
even more about how you're getting fat.
4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, arm-cloth,
leg-cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey
shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey
shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey
conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on
hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
for 10 minutes until red raw.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa
Cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least
fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all
come off).
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini
area but decide to get it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes
the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray
mold spots with Tilex.
15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a
small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent
second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit.
Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
towel on head.
18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way,
cover up any exposed and then rush to bedroom to spend
an hour and a half getting dressed.
==================================================
How To Shower Like A Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your
girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her making the
"woo, woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck
in your gut to see your pecks. Admire the size of your
wiener in the mirror, scratch your balls.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't
use one)
6. Wash your face
7. Wash your armpits
8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the
shower.
9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your ****, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner)
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in
the mirror.
14. Pee (in the shower)
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to
notice water on the floor because you left the curtain
hanging out of the tub when you checked your Mohawk.
16. Partial dry off.
17. Look at yourself the mirror, flex muscles. Admire
wiener size.
18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the
floor.
19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your
waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the
towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby" and thrust
your pelvis at her.
21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get
dressed.
