What's new

Interesting Thing Happened

Antigone

?Craftswoman?
PF Member
Messages
296
Reaction score
3
Points
89
Location
Texas
Peak Coin
0.000000
(Feel free to move if this is the wrong section, I'm not 100% where this should go)

Today I was finally able to talk to my cousin about everything, or a summery at least, about what my sister does to me and how badly it effects me. And it didn't blow up in my face. Recently my sister said some things (she accused me of being a lesbian, thus I recalled horrible childhood memories of classmates doing the same thing) and I'm pretty sure I went through that 'triggering' thing, which I don't recall experiencing before but after hearing some descriptions of it it sure sounds like what I was feeling.

My sister is a horrible vile monster to me. People are always like "oh she's your sister, you should love her" but I hate her ****ing existence. The only good thing about her being around is that it gives someone else for our parents to focus on instead of bothering me all the time, and for someone to split chores with (I mean she hardly does them anyway but whatever). Sure we have moments where we get along fine, but I still hate her guts and want her out of my life. I'm tired of having to put up with the constant abuse. She gives me **** over having various issues when she's the cause of all of them, her constant insults of my entire body, personality, and my few skills. And that's just the short of it, she does so many horrible things to me on a daily basis, I'm surprised I've lasted this long. I guess 18 years of various forms of abuse (yes, she's basically been abusing me since she came out of the womb I'm not ****ting you) is my breaking point.

Because I finally told someone I actually know about what she does to me. I've never done that, I'm hinted to it, insinuated it, implied it, said some of it, but no one has ever taken it seriously. But I knew I could trust my cousin to always be there for me and believe me. He said he wished he could do more than just listen to me about it. Not sure what else he could do, other than watch over me like a hawk during our next family reunion to make sure my sister doesn't pull anything. I wouldn't put it past him, to be honest. But I told him all sorts of things I haven't even mentioned online before, because I was so disgusted and ashamed by it, so obviously I wont be mentioning details about it. But the interesting thing is that for once I told someone how I was feeling and it didn't blow up in my face. Normally I just get told to stop being such a crybaby. But fact of the matter is, while I consider myself to be fairly tough overall, I am a crybaby over certain things. I'm more prone to crying now more than ever actually.

But yeah, that's all really. Oh and although this particular situation started a few days ago, I've just been having a lot of issues with stress lately, so that's why I've been absent for a while. But after talking with my cousin, I felt a bit better. I'm gonna talk with him more tomorrow night too, hopefully I'll even better after that.

So, yeah, I thought it might hep to share all this. Antigone's got a lot of issues no matter how much she ignores them. I figure openly admitting it in spite of my stubborn pride is a good way to start feeling better. But don't get me wrong, I'm still me, I'm still a badass **** who'll **** you up if you push me far enough, I'm still a rude-**** ****, and I'm still crazy awesome as ever. Just so we're clear. I'm not looking for advice or anything, by the way, I'm just updating you all on a major change in my life.

So there. Be gone, peasants.
Sidenote: I think this is one of the shortest posts I've made about myself ever. Wow I'm just breaking every milestone tonight!
 
Out of curiosity, if you're such a "badass, rude-****, crazy awesome ****" why not just knock her on her **** like it sounds she deserves? That's how I dealt with my sister when we were growing up. Give me any ****, and you'll get it back ten-fold. That tends to help people learn they can't push me when it comes back on them with a vengeance.
 
Out of curiosity, if you're such a "badass, rude-****, crazy awesome ****" why not just knock her on her **** like it sounds she deserves? That's how I dealt with my sister when we were growing up. Give me any ****, and you'll get it back ten-fold. That tends to help people learn they can't push me when it comes back on them with a vengeance.
Multiple reasons, most of which I don't want to talk about, because it would involve me admitting horrible things I've done to, admittedly even more horrible, people. Let's just say to me fighting only increases my odds of ending up in prison, because I only know how to fight with the intent to kill.
I have too much to lose, so I can't risk it. That and my cousin might be afraid of me if I were to seriously fight my sister.

I mean i can't just knock her on her ****, she'd destroy all of my belongings (and I love my belongings) then throw the heavy ones at my head. I mean, that's if I was able to hold back, but like hell i could hold back on a demon like her.

That and I just don't want to fight her, I want her out of my life for good. Even if I fight back she'll find a way to make my life a living hell. I just want her gone, out of my life forever. I mean I hate her guts and want nothing to do with her.

Normally, I'd agree with you, I really would. The problem is I'm a monster and she's a devil in disguise. Push comes to shove, I'll be crucified for defending myself against her. Story of my life, any retaliation I make only causes others to sympathize with her and demonize me. Of course, no one likes me anyway because I'm not plastic and I don't pretend to be friendly, unlike she does. But regardless, it's socially acceptable for her to cause me pain and since I'm older I'm expected to just take it.
But also because my sister just gets angry if I retaliate, so I could say goodbye to all my belongings because she'll destroy them. Hell she'll do that even if I haven't done anything to her.

She's a demon, but I'm a monster. There's no winning for either side here. I learned that a long time ago. I could easily, without breaking a sweat, best her physically. But I'd still lose, I'd be punished for it, and as such she would win the war. She'll always win the war because more people like her than they like me, so they'll side with her, plus I've got society going against me.

She'll be out of my life soon enough, one of these days she'll move out and then I'll move out and make sure she wont be able to find me. And if she does, I'll tell her to leave and if she doesn't I'll call the ****ing cops. Really, I'm just content having my cousin to talk to because no matter what I do, I'll lose. I always lose, even when I win I still lose. Only against her, that is, there's so much bias that I'll never win

So basically, no matter what I do, I suffer. I'm in a lose-lose situation always with her. Can't fight her, I'll get punished and she'll still torment me anyway, if I get serious I'll probably get severely punished, and blah blah blah. Point is, not worth it. Anyone else though? I'll destroy them.
 
Could you not put a lock on your bedroom door, put all your belongings safely in there and just ignore your sisters existence? It won't solve the problem, but it's a start to separating yourself from it. Just completely ignore her, what she says, she does, everything. If people start getting ****y at you, ignore them too. With your parents, just say something about them not being able to understand the situation.

I'm glad you were able to open up, though.
 
Back
Top