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Kids. Worth it?

C

Chase

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I'm my late 20's and after being married for a number of years the question on everyone's lips is "So... when are you having kids?". Even people you've just met. Name, career, marital status, children - this is the order of questioning. And when you tell them "none just yet" they follow this immediately with "Oh, don't let all the stories scare you out of it, they really are worth it." and "Don't leave it too late, or you'll miss out".

So. People. Get it out of your system. Why or why not are children worth it?
 
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They do require a lot of attention and MONEY
but this little guy is worth it for me :Shy_Face:
 

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I LOVE kids and can't wait to be a mom!

that said, some people truly don't want children, and that is ok. if anything, it's worse to have kids because you feel like you "should" and possibly not be a good parent. not to say this would necessarily be your case, but I think the answer can only be decided by you. :)

Brandon -- what a cutie! :)
 
Currently on the fence. If I get married and he wants kids I'm in. If totally off the table not sure if this is who I want to spend my life with. However, there would have to be a discussion of how far to go...natural only, fertility drugs, IVF - how far do you want to go...

---------- Post added at 12:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:33 AM ----------

I know I don't want to do it on my own. My dad died when I was 8 and do want my kiddo to have a father figure in his/her life.

---------- Post added at 12:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:35 AM ----------

I know I don't want to do it on my own. My dad died when I was 8 and do want my kiddo to have a father figure in his/her life.
 
That is one of lifes bigger questions.......children or not.

My 27 y/o daughter is beginning to face the same question. They have been married for about 4 years. They go to movies, restaurants and are generally
enjoying life. However, she is starting to get a little pressure from her husband for a child. She's not sure she's ready for that. I told her she would get no pressure from the wife and I.

As a guy I never much liked babies. I told the wife one time if you can give birth to a three y/o you can have as many kids as you want. I can remember some real nightmares of a puking child at 2:00 am, endless crying as an infant. We used to set her in a car seat next to a running dehumidifier becasue that was the only thing that would stop the crying. Then they are teenagers, omg don't get me started.:thud: That having been said I believe that you can never become an emotionally complete human being without having a child. All of the ups and downs that come with children make you a stronger more compassionate person.

If I had it all over again to do would I have a child? The answer would be yes. So, I hope this makes some sense from someone that has seen the other side of the fence.
 
it's really interesting to know people are getting this pressure, by the way. it must vary by culture/geography.

I turned 28 a couple of weeks ago, and while *i* feel like time is running out, im getting more of the "you have so much time left." most women I know don't want to have children until they're at least 30 -- while to me this is horrifying, even though ive accepted it will be the case for me. but ive definitely seen that people where I live tend to wait for marriage and children.
 
Completely worth it! But not for everyone.. And don't let your spouse or anyone else pressure you into having them if you are not ready.
Because your life truly changes once you do. But I would not change it for the world! Mine are almost grown. And women do seem to be putting it off until later. My daughter is 18 now and says kids are on the back burner until 30.
 
Personally I feel that kids are so worth it. I don't have any yet at 32 but I'm not in a huge hurry like some biological clock is ticking. There is plenty of time. Don't worry about what people say, it's just their own insecurities or social pressure that they've had to go through coming out. It's up to each individual and then per couple to determine their own timetable. . . As for why they're worth it. Beyond just being cute and adorable and saying the funniest things, they are loving and loyal and look up to you which is a great feeling. For example, when they are younger and they want you to teach them something. There are just so many ways they are worth it. And also the fact that when you actually have a child that is yours biologically, you can see yourself in them, not just in physical attributes, but also in behavior, good or bad. Not that adopting isn't also great, I was just stating this for people that are planning or have children that they bore. I learned a lot of this from a relationship with a woman that already had a 2 year old and we were together until he was 3. He is such as great young man. I definitely want to have a couple of children someday.
 
Lovely child, Brandon! He looks a lot like you
Having kids is a very personal choice, as well as a very serious decision. No one should be pressured either way. Only you can make this type of decision. Whatever your decision, it doesn't make you any more complete or any less complete of a person. Different people feel "complete" by accomplishing different things. Children take a lot of commitment, and anyone who decides to have them should *really* be sure that they can carry out such a huge responsibility- every child should be loved and well-taken care of by their parents. It's a terrible thing to see children born to parents who don't take care of them or want them.
I personally don't want to have any children- I'm more of a career-focused type of person, and want to put my energy towards that. I don't feel like any less of a person for this choice
 
lol, it interests me that many seem to have read this as a "need advice"-thread, perhaps that's the very nature of the usual forum post. That's not to say that the replies weren't enjoyed. :)

I've already made my mind up either way, that's not my question. :) I'm most interested to see if people believe that the struggle is worth it in the end.

---------- Post added at 05:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:39 PM ----------

Satelite - Yes, pressure definitely varies per culture and geography, but also the individual social setting and circumstance. It's actually typical for educated Australians to get married and have kids later than 30. I however married younger than my peers and have been married a while, so as we approach the age where our peers are beginning to entertain the idea of marriage and children they look to those who are already settled, married, house, career, picket fence and a dog, to see what they're going to do next. Add to this some very keen inlaws, being the last sibling without kids, working in a mostly female dominated workplace and a profession where I probably get caught acting a bit more mature than I am.

It's also interesting how trends can snow-ball in social circles. One couple gets married and the others start to follow suit, it's the same with children.
 
So last night at the apartment I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and my dog pooped on the floor without me seeing it, next thing I know my son has it in his hands and I yell NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

anyways, cleaned him and everything up, no harm done.

still worth it :love:
 
EEEEEEEEK! Toddlers do tend to get into things quite a bit I guess- glad you got him cleaned up quickly!
 
I'm on the fence. As much as I love children when I watch my friend's three little ones (all younger than 7) even for just a few hours, I'm SO glad I can send them home with Mommy & Daddy. It's like a 24/7 job where you're not only always on call but it seems as if just when you sit down to relax they need something, or get into something they shouldn't be in, or start fighting with each other. :nixweiss:

That being said I do want children of my own but when I can afford them. I grew up in a household where mom worked 2 jobs to just barely keep her head above water. Of course, I commend her for working her fingers to the bone but at the same time she didn't really get to see us grow up as we were always at the sitters.
 
I remember when my first child was born ... Me and my wife have been together since we were 15 and 16, and we had our first when we were 21 and 22. Our first child was planned and we'd wanted a baby for a while before that. My wife had a C section because our daughter was breach, so the first few days after she was born, I was doing the feeding, changing, getting up in the night ... I never realised how demanding a tiny little person could be!!! I was exhausted and i used to gag and dirty nappies when changing them, and the sound of her cry every five minutes irritated the hell out of me! I have to admit, I said to my wife a few times ''God, I never thought it'd be this stressful!'' and ''How do we turn this thing off?!'' and other stuff along those lines ....

Me and my wife both worked part time so that one of us was always their to look after our daughter ...

When our daughter was one she could walk and say a few words. It was one of the proudest days when she learnt how to walk, then after a few days we realised how much harder work it would be. Constantly running off and getting into mischief!!! Do you think the posotive side of walking is that you don't have to carry them around all the time? I thought that too ... I was wrong however, it was just the same except she was heavier! Haha!

I remember at easter we had the easter eggs for my neices and nephews in the kitchen, she was about 2 at this point ... she was in the kitchen colouring and me and i went upstairs for five minutes, when i got back downstairs she'd drawn 'daddy' on the fridge in felt tip pen, and started eating my nephews easter egg!

I could go on about stories like that ....

But at the end of the day they're your kids and you love them and wouldn't change them for the world! All the naughty things she used to do would in my head make me want to laugh, because it was so innocent!!

So to answer your question...

Was it worth it? ... Every second!
 
Kids are so worth it - when they cry - you feed them/play with them - they're so precious. Like, myself, I have a daughter that I don't see often - I need to fight for her and take her mom to court - but look how cute we are together - its so worth it!
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If you love yourself - and your friends, then why not have a kid? They're so cute!
 
cute ^
yes you should fight for her, my sons mom and I are splitting Leo 50/50 but I would give anything to have him full time.
His mom is a good lady and treats him well, so it's not as bad as it with some.
 
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