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babie

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Well ladies for those of you who are mothers. I need some input. Today my daughter came home crying. She is 10 yrs old and is in 4th grade. We have had some issues with her teacher in the past. I always thought that for some reason her teacher was not to fond of her. Well anyway today she was crying saying that her teacher thought that she was cheating on a test and took it away from her and gave her a zero. My daughter has never cheated in the past. The teacher sent the test home with a note saying this was in ur daughter's lap during the test. She will get a 0 on the test. I asked my daughter what happened here is her side of the story. She didnt know the answer to 3 questions. She was stalling hoping that she wouldn't finish the test and the teacher would give her time to finish tomorrow. Anyway she wrote down the 3 questions with the answer that she put. She was going to come home check for the answer and hope to put that answer tomorrow if her teacher would let her finish the test. To me this is unexcusable. She had the intention to cheat but she did not cheat on the test. I talked to her teacher and i told her she shouldnt get a 0 because she did the test there were only 3 answers she didnt answer. The teacher is holding to giving her a 0 on the test. What do u ladies think? We r having a conference on friday to further discuss this.
 
I dont know. I should look into that.
 
If you think it is inexcusable, let her take the 0. It will teach your daughter not to write down the questions to a test again. It seems as though she is concerned about getting good grades, so I would think that the possibility of getting a zero for doing this would be a deterrent. I would have to side with the teacher on this one and would not argue with her.
 
Plus, the grades you get in 4th grade really don't matter in life.
 
It seems like it could be a good lesson for your daughter - sort of "scare" her into never doing it again, when the stakes are higher (i.e., upper grades.) In the bigger scheme of things it is only 1 test, so shouldn't pull her grade down all that much, kwim?

I'm not thrilled w/the taking it away from her w/o giving her a chance to explain afterwards, but then wouldn't you do the same as the teacher? Will your daughter be at the conference?
 
IHeartSaving$ said:
It seems like it could be a good lesson for your daughter - sort of "scare" her into never doing it again, when the stakes are higher (i.e., upper grades.) In the bigger scheme of things it is only 1 test, so shouldn't pull her grade down all that much, kwim?

I'm not thrilled w/the taking it away from her w/o giving her a chance to explain afterwards, but then wouldn't you do the same as the teacher? Will your daughter be at the conference?
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Yes she will. The teacher took the test away in front of everyone and they all started laughing calling her a cheater. I am fine with her taking a 0 i do think it will teach her a lesson. I just want her to tell her side to her teacher i dont want her labeled as a cheater. She is a really good kid. Who was making a bad mistake.
 
It sounds like it could have been handled better, but at least she'll get the chance to be heard and to understand why she's still getting the zero. And I'm sure she'll remember it for a long time.

I wouldn't worry too much about the other kids. They'll forget about it by next week when someone else is eating their glue stick or something 4th-grade like that ;)
 
Hmmmm, I'm sorry (as a mom) to say she was attempting to cheat and as miserable as it is to get a zero I think the teacher is not being unreasonable. (As a mom) I feel really badly for her, but there are tough lessons to be learned. I think you are right when you said she had the intention to cheat, even if it was really a 2 day plan. I need to make full disclosure though - I used to teach sixth grade. If I caught a student cheating they got a zero. As a parent I completely understand fighting tooth and nail for my child if they are falsely accused of something and I am certain the accusation is false. This accusation is not really false even if both sides have a slightly different story. Because I was a teacher there is another side to think about. If your daughter knows she did wrong and she gets away with it because her mom made a big fuss she may think she can get away with more in the future. Potentially it also sends the wrong message to the rest of the class. I can't know whether or not this teacher truly is not fond of your daughter or not, but when students don't follow the rules and they get in trouble this is very commonly what they tell their parents. I'm not even trying to say she isn't following the rules. There are a lot of classroom dynamics that come into play. Years ago one of my kids had a teacher whom I would swear did not like him, but then again I don't think she liked children period! That is rare though. I still believe most teachers go into the profession to help children.
 
Didn't read the responses yet, but my kid would take the zero, apologize to the teacher and would be grounded at home.
That said it wouldn't surprise me if my 10 year old son pulled this. ;)
 
I dont know why i am having such a hard time with this. She technically wasnt cheating. She did have the intention. You are right when u say that if i make a fuss she will think that she can get away with more in the future. I guess this is just another lesson learned. I know that next time she will know better.
 
babie said:
I dont know why i am having such a hard time with this. She technically wasnt cheating. She did have the intention. You are right when u say that if i make a fuss she will think that she can get away with more in the future. I guess this is just another lesson learned. I know that next time she will know better.
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You really need to play up the fact that we parents know what's going on and she needs to stop trying to be foolish cause she'll get caught.
 
Thank you all for your input. By no means do i think that her actions were appropriate. I dont want to give her teacher a hard time. I just dont want her teacher to think that every time there is a test she has to pay a little extra attention to my daughter.
 
babie said:
Thank you all for your input. By no means do i think that her actions were appropriate. I dont want to give her teacher a hard time. I just dont want her teacher to think that every time there is a test she has to pay a little extra attention to my daughter.
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I hear ya, but that's a life lesson that you need to 'splain to your daughter that WILL happen. All you can do now is tell your daughter to be the queen B of honesty to win over her teachers.
 
Well, it kinda sounds like she DID have the intention to cheat... not in the ormal "lemme steal a glance @ someone elses test" fashion but still trying to get more time and be able to look up the answers... I think that this isn't really a BIG deal it's a learning experience for her and it should be treated as so. If it were my child (s)he would sit in on the meeting be able to give his side of the story, it would be explained the reasons it was wrong and he would in fact get the zero and have learned a hard lesson.... JMO! Better now then on the SATS or something SUPER important right??
 
babie said:
I dont know why i am having such a hard time with this. She technically wasnt cheating. She did have the intention. You are right when u say that if i make a fuss she will think that she can get away with more in the future. I guess this is just another lesson learned. I know that next time she will know better.
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I am sorry but I agree with another mom on here. She intended to cheat, which is just as bad as cheating itself. Would it really have been ok for HER to get extra time and not the others so she could go home and look up the answers? You don't get that chance in life.

I do want to point out one thing that sort of has something to do with this- maybe when she gets to middle school because technicality may not seem inportant but it is. The 7th and 8th grade girls in DD's school were all pulled out of gym to have a talk with the health teacher. A few students have gotten STD's from boys at school. The girls told their parents and then the nurse that they TECHNICALLY were not having sex because they were just giving blow jobs.
 
kaeg1 said:
I am sorry but I agree with another mom on here. She intended to cheat, which is just as bad as cheating itself. Would it really have been ok for HER to get extra time and not the others so she could go home and look up the answers? You don't get that chance in life.

I do want to point out one thing that sort of has something to do with this- maybe when she gets to middle school because technicality may not seem inportant but it is. The 7th and 8th grade girls in DD's school were all pulled out of gym to have a talk with the health teacher. A few students have gotten STD's from boys at school. The girls told their parents and then the nurse that they TECHNICALLY were not having sex because they were just giving blow jobs.
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I agree with everyone. Even though she was not cheating she had the interntion which is just as bad. I talked to the teacher this morning and told her there is no need for a conference i dont want to make it seem like i am ok with what my daughter was going to do. The teacher said that she would talk to her. I told her that i hoped that she learned her lesson.
 
The 7th and 8th grade girls in DD's school were all pulled out of gym to have a talk with the health teacher. A few students have gotten STD's from boys at school. The girls told their parents and then the nurse that they TECHNICALLY were not having sex because they were just giving blow jobs.



It amazes me how young these girls r and they r so willing to give bj"s. It is very sad. I have a son in 7th grade and i cant even imagine his school calling me telling me this was going on. Children in the 4th grade talk about it because my daughter has told me so. It makes me sick to my stomach the things that r going on in school these days. I dont let them watch certain tv shows to avoid these kinds of things and there friends r talking about it casually during lunch. Makes me wish i could home school them.
 
YIKES--I know it happens ( heck I have almost 4 teenagers) but they are talking about it in 4th grade??

and what the heck are these girls thinking that this is teh right thing to do at age 13??
 
Better blow jobs then babies having babies.... just sayin...
 
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