Found this on another forum, but i think its hillarious.
Political Science 101
Capitalism, American Style
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
Democracy, American Style
The government promises to give you two cows, if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate," but supports the president. The cow sues you for breach of contract. Your legal bills exceed your annual income. You settle out of court and declare bankruptcy.
Democracy, American Style
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
American Corporation
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
Bureaucratic Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
Communist
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
Applied Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
Counterculture
Whoa, dude, there’s like...uh, two cows, man. Uh, like, you have really got to do some of this milk, like, fer shure, it’s awesome, man.
Democrat
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
Republican
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
Communism
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
Democracy
You have two cows. All your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Pure Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
Dictatorship
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Anarcho-Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Militarism
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you into the army.
Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
European Democracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
German Corporation
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
French Corporation
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
Italian Corporation
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
Japanese Corporation
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
Singaporean Democracy
You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
Enron Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly traded company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Repeat as necessary until you have $62 billion in assets, then declare bankruptcy.
Cambodian Communism
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Mexican Democracy
You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots you and sends the cows to Zurich.
Florida Corporation
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.
New York Corporation
You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
Polish Corporation
You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of ‘ownership’ is a symbol of the phallo-centric, warmongering, intolerant past two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender. You are torn by feelings of guilt, your psychotherapist recommends a treatment center. You spend six weeks there, paid for by the community health plan, and graduate into Guilty Anonymous.
Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
Russian Corporation
You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
Taliban Corporation
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.
Iraqian Corporation
You have two cows. They go in hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
Totalitarianism
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
California Happy Cows
Crowd herd of happy fun loving cows into a small dirt lot. Feed cows weeds. Hire Hollywood to show commercial of happy cows in green pastures. Smoke weed left over from cow feeding. Make millions selling "Happy Milk."
Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Political Science 101
Capitalism, American Style
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
Democracy, American Style
The government promises to give you two cows, if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate," but supports the president. The cow sues you for breach of contract. Your legal bills exceed your annual income. You settle out of court and declare bankruptcy.
Democracy, American Style
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
American Corporation
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
Bureaucratic Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
Communist
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
Applied Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
Counterculture
Whoa, dude, there’s like...uh, two cows, man. Uh, like, you have really got to do some of this milk, like, fer shure, it’s awesome, man.
Democrat
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
Republican
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
Communism
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
Democracy
You have two cows. All your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Pure Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
Dictatorship
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Anarcho-Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Militarism
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you into the army.
Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
European Democracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
German Corporation
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
French Corporation
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
Italian Corporation
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
Japanese Corporation
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
Singaporean Democracy
You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
Enron Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly traded company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Repeat as necessary until you have $62 billion in assets, then declare bankruptcy.
Cambodian Communism
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Mexican Democracy
You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots you and sends the cows to Zurich.
Florida Corporation
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.
New York Corporation
You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
Polish Corporation
You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of ‘ownership’ is a symbol of the phallo-centric, warmongering, intolerant past two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender. You are torn by feelings of guilt, your psychotherapist recommends a treatment center. You spend six weeks there, paid for by the community health plan, and graduate into Guilty Anonymous.
Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
Russian Corporation
You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
Taliban Corporation
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.
Iraqian Corporation
You have two cows. They go in hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
Totalitarianism
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
California Happy Cows
Crowd herd of happy fun loving cows into a small dirt lot. Feed cows weeds. Hire Hollywood to show commercial of happy cows in green pastures. Smoke weed left over from cow feeding. Make millions selling "Happy Milk."
Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
