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Rude family members

rjccurrie

rjccurrie

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So we do secret santa every year, I got my aumt and loaded her with clothes from target and beauty items. She was really happy. DH got my cousin she was just so rude could belive it. Diapers, toothbrushes toothpaste, pillows, clothes, bodywash, candles,childrens advil, and many other things. Her only reply while opening was "really or you got this" then she found out I couponed it all and got most for free and made a comment about that. I was just upset and it just bothers me. Next year if We get her name it will go back in and I will pick another person. Thanks for the vent, feel a little better now.
 
Sorry! We all have them. Feel good about what you gave. I'm sure the monitory value of what you gave was HUGE.... But I know that the time to get all those things through couponing is way beyond HUGE.

God sees what you did for that person. He only is who you serve.

Merry Christmas to you. Focus on the day, not that individual.
 
:hugs: I would have taken the box out of her hands and told her I will be giving these to someone who will truly appreciate it and then I would walk directly to the car with it. Obviously, returning to the party so I can watch her ugly face. Hmm.. I guess I do not handle rudeness well. I like your plan for redrawing if you get her name next year.
 
I feel For you. I have a Sister in Law and let me just say I think you got good stuff compared to me. I got a great stained shirt, two size to small, smells like gramas basement I am sure she got from a garage sale. THen to top it off half bottle of lotion and a box of chocalate that was missing candy. My daughter got a dirty princess blanket that smelled like hell and my son got 6 old match box car 2 with broken wheels. Sometime I wish my kids would just give the presents back and tell her these are gross or something. I am not asking for to much just give me a card and my kids a little somethig. A new matchbox car is only a buck. Its not like they do not have money she is a nurse and her husband has a good job and they have even payed of there morgage. I gave her and her kids nice gifts from Kohls but I think IM done. Some people are just rude or maybe crazy. I just do not get it.
 
I just dont get it, I am proud of how much everyone got this year and I know while she was just rude the rest of the family liked what I got for them. Technically my mom and I did not get gifts for eachother this year we are saving to go to Wi. this summer so I got her a few things from Kohls for free and said they were from DS and she was very happy with them. So to all of you that have rude family members like me
:grouphug: and they can get nothing next year.
 
Or just do like DH's family and give nothing at all...come for dinner, eat, complain about the meal and leave w/out thanking anyone! A typical Christmas w/my DH's family...and yet DH and I give them a small photo gift every yr. of their grandchildren/nieces/nephews. We are unable to afford much but still say Christmas is about acknowledging others...I feel your pain though...sorry it had to be that way!
 
rjccurrie said:
So we do secret santa every year, I got my aumt and loaded her with clothes from target and beauty items. She was really happy. DH got my cousin she was just so rude could belive it. Diapers, toothbrushes toothpaste, pillows, clothes, bodywash, candles,childrens advil, and many other things. Her only reply while opening was "really or you got this" then she found out I couponed it all and got most for free and made a comment about that. I was just upset and it just bothers me. Next year if We get her name it will go back in and I will pick another person. Thanks for the vent, feel a little better now.
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Are you supposed to spend a certain amount?
 
I have gotten so turned off with gift exchanges with extended family members. In our family it causes hurt feelings every year because grown adults feel too entitled! It's for the kids, other than that - can't we in most cases buy ourselves that shirt or mixer or whatever? I'd rather just skip it and get together for food/drinks and spend the money on that.
 
I would say to cousin, "Guess what dear, I could have kept my coupons, my products and my Big Heart of gift giving to myself but thanks to your name being drawn, you got it it all from me!!!" Then refer her to the Three Kings and show here what Jesus got, maybe it will make her appreciate what she has!!
Then again, you may want to keep your spirits up by saying the above to yourself, give DH a hug and tell yourselves that wonderful sentiments are great to receive from each other because you cannot control how others behave/react to your giving. IMO You all deserve to hug each other, don't expect from anyone, anything unless you raised them yourself!!! LOL
 
I didn't go to my in laws' place on Christmas morning to open gifts, dh did go.

We had fights weeks leading to Christmas, about him lying to me and his dad helping to cover his tracks and how he betrayed me by running to his parents everytime we fought. I told him I would not be celebrating Christmas with them, I meant business and followed through with it.

So FIL was mad at me and sent me a nasty email asking us to go for counselling and threaten to get the attorney to draft a divorce/separation petition etc. I replied with an equally nasty email, suggesting he goes to counselling so that he could learn how to get loose of the apron strings and his son can learn to be a man instead of a spoiled little kid (just like him). I also sacarstically suggested I would pay for moving his son to his spare bedroom so he gets a permanent fixture on his couch, a constant TV companion and a personal handy man.

Fun Christmas!
 
lf5058 said:
I didn't go to my in laws' place on Christmas morning to open gifts, dh did go.

We had fights weeks leading to Christmas, about him lying to me and his dad helping to cover his tracks and how he betrayed me by running to his parents everytime we fought. I told him I would not be celebrating Christmas with them, I meant business and followed through with it.

So FIL was mad at me and sent me a nasty email asking us to go for counselling and threaten to get the attorney to draft a divorce/separation petition etc. I replied with an equally nasty email, suggesting he goes to counselling so that he could learn how to get loose of the apron strings and his son can learn to be a man instead of a spoiled little kid (just like him). I also sacarstically suggested I would pay for moving his son to his spare bedroom so he gets a permanent fixture on his couch, a constant TV companion and a personal handy man.

Fun Christmas!
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OMG that sucks! :huggy:
 
mommysix said:
OMG that sucks! :huggy:
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It did suck. However it felt good to finally tell my FIL in his face that his constant meddlings is THE problem in our marriage. We are six and half years into our marriage, and he has caused discord from day one.
 
Why did the nice DIL have to be the one to go? :( She was the only one who would help clean up after the holiday meal...(although DS did help...I guess she trained him right)...eldest DIL had the nerve to tell the 3 year old GS that he needed to come out to the kitchen to help clean up so she could open her presents...she was too busy texting to help...
 
I was annoyed a bit myself I alwasy make desert thats my 'thing' so I made choclate cresent rolls, fruit salad with cinnamon chips (to dip with) sweet potato pie and cherry pie....I also made augroten potatos and green beans......my sister showed up with frickin desert when she knew I was making desert and I told her what I was making I told her 'how would you feel if you told me you were making 4 different kinds of turkey and then I brought a turkey?'

THEN my mother called..............

but the final straw was when we were talking with my DSS 18 about Christmas vistation at his mothers home (he lives with me and DH) he told us in detail what he bought them and about giving money for his mothers boyfriends of about 3 months present, but the only thing I got from him was not a **** thing including an 'im sorry I didnt get you a ****in thing'

we got home to watch the Packer game to no power and after talking to DSS I just cried and cried and cried the lights came on with 10 minutes left in the game
 
got2crazykids my mom is in the same boat sort of she has been with her boyfriend for 15 years and his 2 kids don't even give her a card or anything, I on the other hand have always given her boyfriend something this year 2 pairs of the loungwear pants from kohls (free) but at least i see him as a family member and get him something. Maybe it was because we had no snow for Christmas is the reason for the lack of feeling the spirit of the season not really sure.
 
I sent a gift card to my brother and his "wife" and they must have opened it right when they got it. We webcammed so our kids could see each other open their gifts. I *honestly* don't care that they don't send something for DH and I. I know they can't afford it. But, at least be grateful you got something from us. Instead of having this conversation (since they didn't mention it).

Me: did you guys get your present from us?
SIL: what present?
Me: i sent you a pink envelope
BIL: when?
Me: on Saturday ... It should have been there by now. Weird.
SIL: oh! (lots of whispering ensues)
BIL: oh yeah, we got it.

Long pause

Me: did you like it?
BIL: yes.

Did I miss where they were grateful for the gift card?
 
lf5058 said:
It did suck. However it felt good to finally tell my FIL in his face that his constant meddlings is THE problem in our marriage. We are six and half years into our marriage, and he has caused discord from day one.
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Man, this is the first FIL story that I have heard. It's usually the meddling mother or MIL who also knows how to manipulate the son. I'm sorry that you went through that. I am also glad that you were able to voice how you felt. Your DH has to know by now that it is the two of you and not the 3 of them any longer.
 
rjccurrie said:
got2crazykids my mom is in the same boat sort of she has been with her boyfriend for 15 years and his 2 kids don't even give her a card or anything, I on the other hand have always given her boyfriend something this year 2 pairs of the loungwear pants from kohls (free) but at least i see him as a family member and get him something. Maybe it was because we had no snow for Christmas is the reason for the lack of feeling the spirit of the season not really sure.
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we had asked DSS not to buy his mothers boyfriend a present with our money becouse we shouldnt have to spend our hard earned money for her boyfriend but he didnt care, I hope he likes his radio, my friend told me I shouldnt be mad at my DSS but I cant help it if he wolda told his dad his dad woulda put his name on something sweat shirt the dogs 'bought' me and I wouldnt be so upset after 8 years I dont even rate a candy bar
 
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