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matthewhotdude

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Did you hear about the baker that got electrocuted?

He stood on a bun and a current went up his leg.
:lol: :lol:
 
boy went to strip club, mum asked him what he saw there that he wasnt supposed to, he said that he saw dad
 
If Microsoft had been the first to invent books:

1. Before you can open the cover of your new book, you must obtain a book activation code by phoning Microsoft.

2. Sorry, only one person may ever read your book.

3. It's full of spelling mistakes and typos.

4. When you're reading your book, the type can mysteriously disappear.

5. Libraries, which are for sharing books, are illegal.

6. You must acknowledge you have read and understood the Book License Agreement Hype (BLAH) before you can read your book.

7. Microsoft has the right to enter your premises to conduct book inspections to make sure your book is being read in accordance with the BLAH.

8. The Book Users' Group General Alliance (BUGGA) calculates that the annual loss of revenues to Microsoft arising from BLAH violations in 2001 was $10.97 billion.

9. There are two versions of your book - the "Standard" and the "Pro" versions. In the standard version, those pages containing the most useful information have been stuck together.

10. At random times the letters your book may suddenly scramble for no apparent reason. Simply give the book a good kicking - this is called rebooting.
 
Lol, those are funny shihab. My favorite would be number 9 :D
 
thanks Wood, number 1 just cracks me up Lol :D
 
got some more computer jokes:

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.

7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
 
Lol @ 2.

12 Step Recovery Program For Web Addicts

1.

I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
2.

I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3.

I will get dressed before noon.
4.

I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.
5.

I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.
6.

I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.
7.

I will read a book... if I still remember how.
8.

I will listen to those around me about their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.
9.

I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10.

1I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11.

I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.
12.

Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!
 
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