- #1
Thread Owner
Fr. Frank was in the confessional listening to confessions one afternoon.
He had heard about five so far and was going through the routine as always.
On the sixth confession he had a sudden gastric pain and knew he -had- to
make the toilet and damned quickly. He peeked out and saw that there was
still a terrible line. Glancing around in a panic, he saw Herb the janitor
mopping the floor behind the confessional.
"Pssst! Herb...come here...quickly, my son." The janitor shrugged, set aside
his mop and wandered over.
"Herb...I -must- go to the bathroom. I need you to handle the confessions
for a few minutes while I'm away." Poor Herb looked terribly confused.
"But Father...I dunno what ta say."
"Don't worry...there's a small black book in my booth. As they tell you a sin,
look it up in the book and read the assigned pennance..
Herb nods reluctantly and enters the confessional as Father Frank scurries
off.
A man approached on the other side. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I
have committed adultery."
Herb hastily looked it up in the book and said softly, "Uhhh...that's alright
my son. Say Ten Hail Marys and you are forgiven."
Poor Herb sits and reads from the book for ten minutes. He glances out and
sees the line is still packed. "Damned, if Father Frank shouldn't be back
by now" he muttered.
Then a woman approached. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I
have...*whispering* given oral sex to a man."
Herb leafed through the book and blinked. No entry for oral sex. He scanned
the pages several times, getting increasingly nervous. The woman had
already said "Father? My pennance?" Three times now. Panicked, Herb looked
out and saw
Timmy the altar boy nearby. "Timmy...hey Timmy" he hissed. "C'mere kid."
Timmy ginned and bumbled over. "Timmy...I'm lost here...what does Father
Frank usually give for oral sex?"
To which Timmy grins sheepishly and respjnds, "A can of coke and a snickers
bar!"
------------------
"Qualifications for being a Moderator at Anandtech...? I think that you have to be 17 or under, and the lobomoty has to be total. Partial lobomoty only gets you Elite Member status."
Serendipity is looking for a needle in a haystack and finding the farmer's daughter.
He had heard about five so far and was going through the routine as always.
On the sixth confession he had a sudden gastric pain and knew he -had- to
make the toilet and damned quickly. He peeked out and saw that there was
still a terrible line. Glancing around in a panic, he saw Herb the janitor
mopping the floor behind the confessional.
"Pssst! Herb...come here...quickly, my son." The janitor shrugged, set aside
his mop and wandered over.
"Herb...I -must- go to the bathroom. I need you to handle the confessions
for a few minutes while I'm away." Poor Herb looked terribly confused.
"But Father...I dunno what ta say."
"Don't worry...there's a small black book in my booth. As they tell you a sin,
look it up in the book and read the assigned pennance..
Herb nods reluctantly and enters the confessional as Father Frank scurries
off.
A man approached on the other side. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I
have committed adultery."
Herb hastily looked it up in the book and said softly, "Uhhh...that's alright
my son. Say Ten Hail Marys and you are forgiven."
Poor Herb sits and reads from the book for ten minutes. He glances out and
sees the line is still packed. "Damned, if Father Frank shouldn't be back
by now" he muttered.
Then a woman approached. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I
have...*whispering* given oral sex to a man."
Herb leafed through the book and blinked. No entry for oral sex. He scanned
the pages several times, getting increasingly nervous. The woman had
already said "Father? My pennance?" Three times now. Panicked, Herb looked
out and saw
Timmy the altar boy nearby. "Timmy...hey Timmy" he hissed. "C'mere kid."
Timmy ginned and bumbled over. "Timmy...I'm lost here...what does Father
Frank usually give for oral sex?"
To which Timmy grins sheepishly and respjnds, "A can of coke and a snickers
bar!"
------------------
"Qualifications for being a Moderator at Anandtech...? I think that you have to be 17 or under, and the lobomoty has to be total. Partial lobomoty only gets you Elite Member status."
Serendipity is looking for a needle in a haystack and finding the farmer's daughter.
