My youngest daughter Fiona stopped me. Slammed her fist into my mouth when I was gone crazy with pain after having ripped the meds cabinet off the wall with my bare hands.
<Big blush from the memory>
That's what pain does when it's not properly controlled. It drove me to the very effing edge. Thank god Fiona walked in when she did and caught me. >_<
That was last Spring. I'm alright now. Changed my doctor, got the pain meds sorted, had counselling. **** good therapist, patient, firm. But also gentle, though tough when I got arsey. I will never contemplate suicide ever again. I made promise to my girls and they absolutely love me for it. Look, I am crying now just from the memory of hurting them. Can't even begin to contemplate what they've done if found me dead. I just can't go back there ever again, break my promise. My word is my word, and thank christ I got caught. It was a split and very thick bloody lip Fiona dealt me. **** well deserved if you ask me.
~Rachel