What stopped you?
- Thread starter Ben
- Start date
The pain I'd put family through, music, and meeting Michael.
I couldn't hurt my family like that, as much as I tried to make it easier by thinking they wouldn't care, they would. I couldn't do that to them.
Music has always been an escape for me. I wouldn't have been able to cope with a lot of things without that escape. It kept me safe.
Michael.. well, just Michael. He helped me through a lot since we met and he's helped me so much more than he even knows. I owe him for that.
I couldn't hurt my family like that, as much as I tried to make it easier by thinking they wouldn't care, they would. I couldn't do that to them.
Music has always been an escape for me. I wouldn't have been able to cope with a lot of things without that escape. It kept me safe.
Michael.. well, just Michael. He helped me through a lot since we met and he's helped me so much more than he even knows. I owe him for that.
My youngest daughter Fiona stopped me. Slammed her fist into my mouth when I was gone crazy with pain after having ripped the meds cabinet off the wall with my bare hands.
<Big blush from the memory>
That's what pain does when it's not properly controlled. It drove me to the very effing edge. Thank god Fiona walked in when she did and caught me. >_<
That was last Spring. I'm alright now. Changed my doctor, got the pain meds sorted, had counselling. **** good therapist, patient, firm. But also gentle, though tough when I got arsey. I will never contemplate suicide ever again. I made promise to my girls and they absolutely love me for it. Look, I am crying now just from the memory of hurting them. Can't even begin to contemplate what they've done if found me dead. I just can't go back there ever again, break my promise. My word is my word, and thank christ I got caught. It was a split and very thick bloody lip Fiona dealt me. **** well deserved if you ask me.
~Rachel
<Big blush from the memory>
That's what pain does when it's not properly controlled. It drove me to the very effing edge. Thank god Fiona walked in when she did and caught me. >_<
That was last Spring. I'm alright now. Changed my doctor, got the pain meds sorted, had counselling. **** good therapist, patient, firm. But also gentle, though tough when I got arsey. I will never contemplate suicide ever again. I made promise to my girls and they absolutely love me for it. Look, I am crying now just from the memory of hurting them. Can't even begin to contemplate what they've done if found me dead. I just can't go back there ever again, break my promise. My word is my word, and thank christ I got caught. It was a split and very thick bloody lip Fiona dealt me. **** well deserved if you ask me.
~Rachel
A picture.
The picture of my little sister.
I lost her at the age of 7, she was 3.
She died, through a bad heart.. and I regret every single day that I live.
" Why did he take her?
Why didn't he take me? "
I hated that day. And I still hate it now.
I mean think about it..
God killed an innocent child.
And innocent soul.
The picture of her..
Was when she was 2 and I was asleep with her beside me, we were both smiling.
Happy.
That picture. That wonderful, beautiful picture.
It stopped me from making the biggest regret of my life.
You'd never think such a little thing would stop a person, huh? :'c
I love her, I honestly do.
So I decided that I wont only live for my sake.
But for her sake, too.
The picture of my little sister.
I lost her at the age of 7, she was 3.
She died, through a bad heart.. and I regret every single day that I live.
" Why did he take her?
Why didn't he take me? "
I hated that day. And I still hate it now.
I mean think about it..
God killed an innocent child.
And innocent soul.
The picture of her..
Was when she was 2 and I was asleep with her beside me, we were both smiling.
Happy.
That picture. That wonderful, beautiful picture.
It stopped me from making the biggest regret of my life.
You'd never think such a little thing would stop a person, huh? :'c
I love her, I honestly do.
So I decided that I wont only live for my sake.
But for her sake, too.
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The fear of death and the fact that Rayn and Ashlee needs me. And Tom Hiddleston. Not joking. He really has helped me.
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What stopped me? A dream. It might sound cliche, but when you see your little brother hanging from a rope and it be so real you wake up drenched in tears it kinda has an impact. He's the only one to have ever given me hope and I just couldn't do that to him.
