Abduction
- Thread starter Abductee
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He-he! Seems that You are beginner in an Alienology.
Shizander, or Homo Abducticus Vulgaris, represents kingdom animalia, division carnivores, class alley-gathors, subclass AF274-beta. He is the spinal bone of our society. :nod:
Shizander, or Homo Abducticus Vulgaris, represents kingdom animalia, division carnivores, class alley-gathors, subclass AF274-beta. He is the spinal bone of our society. :nod:
Let me make this simple for you. Schizander is an alien. He doesn't abduct soupers. If you want to be probed or be a member of his crew on his space ship then you have to ask him to give you the examination. Most likely it will have to be a female alien, for I'm not sure if you want Schizander to probe you or do you? lol
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Free alien abductions are now available at reduced prices...act now and save!
Maybe I can help clear a few things up for you this morning, friend. Occasionally aliens do abduct people against their will, but only in very rare cases. Nowadays it's mostly done on a first come first serve strictly volunteer basis. You see, most of those unfortunate uneducated humanoids who were mistakenly abducted in the past against their will, almost always ended up not cooperating, and well, to make a long story short, it simply wasn't worth all the time and energy that went into such a effort.
There are more than enough humans out there (attractive females for the most part) who are practically begging to be abducted and probed, and let me hasten to add here that by probe I mean wholesome sanitary red state style mind wave probes as opposed to those fictitious wild and crazy tabloidian anal blue state liberal probe stories that you hear so much about in the government controlled media. But ask yourself, would an extraterrestrial who is capable of designing and building an interstellar space travel vehicle, one btw that travels at or near light speed...would such an intelligent advanced entity stoop to anal probing as a means of learning about human anatomy?
The human brain is a much more interesting item than a portable waste disposal unit. And all this equally disgusting hogwash about aliens abducting earth females for hybrid-alien breeding purposes? I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid I am not allowed to comment on that particular subject at the present time. If there was such a plan, and I'm not saying there is or anything, but if there indeed was one, I'm fairly sure I would be deeply involved in a highly personal way... not only in the planning stages of said plan but also in the day to day minute by minute implimentation of such a plan. There is no such plan. Trust me.
It is true that I have befriended two females here in alien soup (Ripley and Rosebud) and that I have from time to time probed them repeatedly with the Uberprober* (type M 1A-314) and they seem to have thoroughly enjoyed these probe sessions (especially Ripley), however, I want to make it perfectly clear that for the most part it was a harmless mindwave manipulation procedure (more like therapy) and had nothing whatsoever to do with any other part of the female anatomy, even though they may have thought at the time that it involved such unmentionable reproductive anatomical parts which I have thus far wisely chosen not to mention and for good reason too I might add.
Some wires and electrodes were hooked to certain areas of the brain and certain gender specific signals were sent to the probee's brain and the results were recorded by our onboard computers...(unfortunately in Ripley's case there was a small equipment malfunction which caused our main server to experience a serious meltdown due in part to her increased motor activity as a direct result of what she erroneously perceived as increased electrical activity in her X* area.) Parts are on order and we hope top continue our research soon.
Abductee said:okay.....not sure i quite understand that....what?
Maybe I can help clear a few things up for you this morning, friend. Occasionally aliens do abduct people against their will, but only in very rare cases. Nowadays it's mostly done on a first come first serve strictly volunteer basis. You see, most of those unfortunate uneducated humanoids who were mistakenly abducted in the past against their will, almost always ended up not cooperating, and well, to make a long story short, it simply wasn't worth all the time and energy that went into such a effort.
There are more than enough humans out there (attractive females for the most part) who are practically begging to be abducted and probed, and let me hasten to add here that by probe I mean wholesome sanitary red state style mind wave probes as opposed to those fictitious wild and crazy tabloidian anal blue state liberal probe stories that you hear so much about in the government controlled media. But ask yourself, would an extraterrestrial who is capable of designing and building an interstellar space travel vehicle, one btw that travels at or near light speed...would such an intelligent advanced entity stoop to anal probing as a means of learning about human anatomy?
The human brain is a much more interesting item than a portable waste disposal unit. And all this equally disgusting hogwash about aliens abducting earth females for hybrid-alien breeding purposes? I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid I am not allowed to comment on that particular subject at the present time. If there was such a plan, and I'm not saying there is or anything, but if there indeed was one, I'm fairly sure I would be deeply involved in a highly personal way... not only in the planning stages of said plan but also in the day to day minute by minute implimentation of such a plan. There is no such plan. Trust me.
It is true that I have befriended two females here in alien soup (Ripley and Rosebud) and that I have from time to time probed them repeatedly with the Uberprober* (type M 1A-314) and they seem to have thoroughly enjoyed these probe sessions (especially Ripley), however, I want to make it perfectly clear that for the most part it was a harmless mindwave manipulation procedure (more like therapy) and had nothing whatsoever to do with any other part of the female anatomy, even though they may have thought at the time that it involved such unmentionable reproductive anatomical parts which I have thus far wisely chosen not to mention and for good reason too I might add.
Some wires and electrodes were hooked to certain areas of the brain and certain gender specific signals were sent to the probee's brain and the results were recorded by our onboard computers...(unfortunately in Ripley's case there was a small equipment malfunction which caused our main server to experience a serious meltdown due in part to her increased motor activity as a direct result of what she erroneously perceived as increased electrical activity in her X* area.) Parts are on order and we hope top continue our research soon.
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Schizander... how long do you guys live?
Do puppet us?
If we are really that stupid why don't you help us with our research so we can become smart like you guys...
Do puppet us?
If we are really that stupid why don't you help us with our research so we can become smart like you guys...
Schizander who is an alien can live for (give or take a few) thousands of years.
We are not smart enough for this alien breed. Their technology is much futher advanced than ours. Plus his IQ outshines ours as well.
We are not smart enough for this alien breed. Their technology is much futher advanced than ours. Plus his IQ outshines ours as well.
