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Am I in shock??? What is wrong with me??

nicklesm17 said:
I didn't really ask why it happened. I have a follow up on the 14th. If I am up to it I will ask.

Sadly we won't be trying again. The truth is I am 42 and this is my 6th miscarriage in 12 years.

I am going to focus on my boys. And try and get a little of my self back. I have a long road ahead of me. My body has failed me, and I am unable to understand why. Or forgive myself right now.
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Nickles - I am so sorry for your loss. I knew you have had a rough time in the past with MC from your previous posts. But you cannot blame yourself. Your hormones are probably raging right now and trying to come to a normal balance. I know its easier said than done, but try and take things one day at a time and if that's too much, then an hour at a time. And as far as the grieving and not crying - things hit everyone at different times. I had a mc last Feb at about 8 weeks. We too had not told anyone so my mom and my sister get the call that I have mc and didn't even know I was pregnant to begin with. Same thing as you, I'm ok, they both feel horrible that they are in Chicago and I'm by myself in STL, blah blah. This February, one year to the day, my mom sent me flowers with a card that said, "I love you so much - Mom" And I started sobbing. I tear up as I write this.

I guess for me, I wasn't just grieving the mc, I was also grieving and coming to terms with the fact that I can't get pregant again, and that the hopes of having three children are not coming true. We are all here for you. Big Hugs.
 
Leslie, I am SO SORRY! I can't even imagine. I went thru this once, but to go thru it 6 times is unfathomable. All I can say is it is so RAW right now so emotions are all over the place and I am sure your mind just doesn't know what to think or what you should feel. I am sure it is surreal.

I am here for you and if you want to talk. Have no plans for the day so if you want to get together w/ kids at a park or you are welcome to come here. LMK, sending u PM. Most of all take it easy on yourself!!!
 
I am so sorry, it must have been so hard at our get together when I said I see a little girl in your future and you said--you never know (I told DD we will be hearing an announcement soon) I am so sorry for your loss
Words can not help--I will keep you in prayer---and pray for your entire family.
Blessings to you, and I think you are doing coping skills. When I lost ours, i went into mother role--and just went on as if life was normal, but I missed my baby so much
please know you can vent here at any time, you can share here at anytime and if you n eed something--there are plenty of CW people here willing to help.
 
nicklesm17 said:
I didn't really ask why it happened. I have a follow up on the 14th. If I am up to it I will ask.

Sadly we won't be trying again. The truth is I am 42 and this is my 6th miscarriage in 12 years.

I am going to focus on my boys. And try and get a little of my self back. I have a long road ahead of me. My body has failed me, and I am unable to understand why. Or forgive myself right now.
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Prayers to you--I don't think I will ever understand why He gives us the gift and then takes it away. Please don't feel you are a failure, that you did anything wrong. We just can not explain these things. I was just talking to a neighbor she lost twins 19 years ago, she said that her Mom had lost numerous kids, it ran in her family--so when she became pregnant with her daughter--she had them run a test that is not routine on the HCG levels--turns out hers was low and it saved the life of her daughter--she told that to her sister when her sister was pg--and the same thing--the levels were low--and they did not want to run the test--teh sister insisted--and the doctor told her--that probably saved the life of the baby she was carrying--so it is not your fault---it might be a medical thing such as those levels--
So please know we are praying for you, and am very sorry for your loss
 
:huggy: :huggy: I'm so sorry for your loss. It's ok to feel however you feel :huggy:
 
KG said:
:huggy: :huggy: I'm so sorry for your loss. It's ok to feel however you feel :huggy:
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:shesaid:

I'm so very sorry. :pout:
 
I am so sorry for your loss and that you have gone through this. I know I can't say anything to make you feel better but please know that people care!

I suffered multiple miscarriages as well and it brings tears to my eyes when someone tells me they have miscarried too. You and your husband are in my prayers!
 
I'm so very, very sorry; we too have been where you are at now. Please don't blame yourself or think something is wrong with you because you are perhaps not acting in a way that you THINK you should...there is no right or wrong way to grieve a loss such as this. It took many weeks of spotting and appts. before they determined that yes, we had lost our baby, we then had to wait for my body to naturally miscarry the baby. The entire time was emotionally draining and up and down for me, whereas for my husband, when the news came and the miscarriage came...it hit him then. He was in school and working and so very busy I think he never dreamed it would actually happen...so he was so down and so angry...but at that point I was strong...I believe the Lord grants us strength when we need it to be there for others; and when we are then down, they are strong for us.

I pray for peace and comfort for you; strength and grace to heal. The Lord bless you and keep you all.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
 
I am so sorry for your loss.
 
Leslie, there are a lot of people that are willing to help if you need anything. I know that you have family in the area--but if you decide you would like some help--let us know---
Prayers for you!!!
 
kmjlovesjesus said:
Prayers to you--I don't think I will ever understand why He gives us the gift and then takes it away. Please don't feel you are a failure, that you did anything wrong. We just can not explain these things. I was just talking to a neighbor she lost twins 19 years ago, she said that her Mom had lost numerous kids, it ran in her family--so when she became pregnant with her daughter--she had them run a test that is not routine on the HCG levels--turns out hers was low and it saved the life of her daughter--she told that to her sister when her sister was pg--and the same thing--the levels were low--and they did not want to run the test--teh sister insisted--and the doctor told her--that probably saved the life of the baby she was carrying--so it is not your fault---it might be a medical thing such as those levels--
So please know we are praying for you, and am very sorry for your loss
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I miscarried 6 months before I got pregnant with my youngest. Right after the miscarriage I asked about having my progestrone levels checked, based on symptoms and a gut feeling. My dr blew it off and said don't worry about it. At 5 weeks pregnant with Josh I started spotting. Saw a different dr in the practice, just because she's the one who had an opening that day. She decided to check progesterone levels. They were pretty low, and I was put on supplements, which caused the spotting to stop. I really think I would have lost him if she hadn't put me on those supplements.
 
blonditz said:
I miscarried 6 months before I got pregnant with my youngest. Right after the miscarriage I asked about having my progestrone levels checked, based on symptoms and a gut feeling. My dr blew it off and said don't worry about it. At 5 weeks pregnant with Josh I started spotting. Saw a different dr in the practice, just because she's the one who had an opening that day. She decided to check progesterone levels. They were pretty low, and I was put on supplements, which caused the spotting to stop. I really think I would have lost him if she hadn't put me on those supplements.
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This is the story my friend told me--that they do not do a routine check for the progesterone levels--so you need to ask--and they find out numerous times that is a main reason for miscarriage. If you ever think you will try again, please make sure that is one test they do--even if the doctor denies it--insist--that is what saved my friends child and her niece.
Still, blessings and prayers to you
 
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