I didn't really ask why it happened. I have a follow up on the 14th. If I am up to it I will ask.
Sadly we won't be trying again. The truth is I am 42 and this is my 6th miscarriage in 12 years.
I am going to focus on my boys. And try and get a little of my self back. I have a long road ahead of me. My body has failed me, and I am unable to understand why. Or forgive myself right now.
Nickles - I am so sorry for your loss. I knew you have had a rough time in the past with MC from your previous posts. But you cannot blame yourself. Your hormones are probably raging right now and trying to come to a normal balance. I know its easier said than done, but try and take things one day at a time and if that's too much, then an hour at a time. And as far as the grieving and not crying - things hit everyone at different times. I had a mc last Feb at about 8 weeks. We too had not told anyone so my mom and my sister get the call that I have mc and didn't even know I was pregnant to begin with. Same thing as you, I'm ok, they both feel horrible that they are in Chicago and I'm by myself in STL, blah blah. This February, one year to the day, my mom sent me flowers with a card that said, "I love you so much - Mom" And I started sobbing. I tear up as I write this.
I guess for me, I wasn't just grieving the mc, I was also grieving and coming to terms with the fact that I can't get pregant again, and that the hopes of having three children are not coming true. We are all here for you. Big Hugs.