Anxiety in children

[ellenface]

. Actually my older son would prolly say that his brother is the favorite because he doesn't get in trouble much. :lol:

i know exactly what you mean. our older son would, and does, say that too.
:lol:

i wasnt trying to say that you dont or wont love your son, and i know you get that i wasnt saying that. i was really just trying to point out that his idiosyncrosies are to be appreciated, and that doing that can be a REALLY hard thing to do, at least it was for me at times.

 

[fords8]

i know exactly what you mean. our older son would, and does, say that too.
:lol:

i wasnt trying to say that you dont or wont love your son, and i know you get that i wasnt saying that. i was really just trying to point out that his idiosyncrosies are to be appreciated, and that doing that can be a REALLY hard thing to do, at least it was for me at times.

I heart his idiosyncrosies.........he has many lol. I've mentioned before but maybe not in a while that he also has several tics.........some very noticeable facial and audio ones. Sometimes it's hard for him to get out what he's trying to say because his tics keep stopping him. I just patiently wait until he's able to say what he has to say. He doesn't stutter though...........it's different...........hard to explain. Luckily kids never say anything to him about it..........he's actually quite popular and has many friends at school. :cartwheel:

 

[icoupon2]

It sounds like a combination of all of the above IMO. When DS17 was around that age in addition to the ADHD he was also diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. They were all sort of interwoven. Things had to be a certain way (still do) and changing his "routine" was very stressful and could ruin his whole day (like not getting his last hug from your dh). Kids with ADHD (in my experience) do have anxiety, it manifests in different ways in different kids.

Would you say that the anxiety has started or increased since school has started up again?

 

[chattynatty]

Is he taking meds for his ADHD? I ask because over time you might see some side effects appear that might not have appeared at the beginning. Just a thought...hope you can find out some answers. Hugs to all of you!

 

[bmezo22]

Yes this is the DS with ADHD.......what a rough night. He kept wanting to come in our room. I said "Honey you're fine, we're right here if you need us." After a while he finally slept on the couch. DH was all set to let him in our bed, but I'm trying to help him to be strong kwim.

The first time I thought it was anxiety was in Dec. when his great grandmother (Nana) passed away. It really affected him. He would come to me saying he's sad then cry really hard then beg me to help him. He kept yelling "Mommy please help me!" like something was happening to him. All I could do is hold him. out:

Last week he came to me a few times saying "I'm feeling weird again." So I would get a puzzle or something out for him to do to take his mind off of the feeling which seemed to help.

That is so very sad. It brought a tear to my eye. I would definitely talk to the doctor and take your son seriously. I had some really really bad anxiety about three years ago and it was horrible. I did not know what was happening to me, just that I was so worried and scared that I felt sick and literally could not function. Medication helped me get back to normal and I only had to be on it for a few months. I have not had any problems since. I am just telling you this because if your son is going through even somewhat what I went through, NO one's words will make him feel better and he won't be able to make it go away.

 

[fords8]

It sounds like a combination of all of the above IMO. When DS17 was around that age in addition to the ADHD he was also diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. They were all sort of interwoven. Things had to be a certain way (still do) and changing his "routine" was very stressful and could ruin his whole day (like not getting his last hug from your dh). Kids with ADHD (in my experience) do have anxiety, it manifests in different ways in different kids.

Would you say that the anxiety has started or increased since school has started up again?

I would say it has increased since school started. I don't recall any mention of him feeling "weird" over the summer.

Is he taking meds for his ADHD? I ask because over time you might see some side effects appear that might not have appeared at the beginning. Just a thought...hope you can find out some answers. Hugs to all of you!

Yes he's been on ADHD meds for almost 2 years now.

That is so very sad. It brought a tear to my eye. I would definitely talk to the doctor and take your son seriously. I had some really really bad anxiety about three years ago and it was horrible. I did not know what was happening to me, just that I was so worried and scared that I felt sick and literally could not function. Medication helped me get back to normal and I only had to be on it for a few months. I have not had any problems since. I am just telling you this because if your son is going through even somewhat what I went through, NO one's words will make him feel better and he won't be able to make it go away.

Yeah I know the feeling too as I'm also on anxiety meds. I'm almost grateful that I have anxiety so that I am able to recognize that he might also be dealing with it. Otherwise I would prolly just brush it off as him wanting attention or something.

I'm trying to think of how to talk to his Doctor about it without him listening........or should I let him listen? I'm affraid that if he knows he might have a problem that he'll think about it more often and make it worse.......does that make sense? He doesn't know I have anxiety...........I try not to use lables for people in my house..........just that people are different. Kind of like he didn't know he had "ADHD" for a long time until his brother told him about it. All he knew was that his medicine helps him be the best Matthew he can be.

 

[bmezo22]

I think that you should talk to him about his anxiety and what it's like when he feels "weird." I also think that you should talk to him about your anxiety and tell him what it's like when you feel "weird." I know for me personally, when I talked to other people who were dealing with the same thing, it made me feel so much better and so much more "normal." I bet it would help him a lot to know he is not alone.

 

[fords8]

I think that you should talk to him about his anxiety and what it's like when he feels "weird." I also think that you should talk to him about your anxiety and tell him what it's like when you feel "weird." I know for me personally, when I talked to other people who were dealing with the same thing, it made me feel so much better and so much more "normal." I bet it would help him a lot to know he is not alone.

I just think it might be putting too much on him though. I did tell him that I think I understand what he's feeling and that I feel like that too sometimes. I reassure him that it will pass and that he's fine.

My older son has always been pretty mature compared to other kids the same age...........I can not say that of my baby. Everything upsets him.............he can't hear about anything sad, wont' let me have the news on, etc. He HATES all the scary Halloween stuff. I can only buy cutesy decorations. :surrender: (just painting a picture of what kind of kid he is)

 

[stazmatic]

Thank you sweetie, but no. I've not discussed ANYTHING medical with them (hell my mom doesn't even know about my anxiety let alone my blood issues).

Sometimes kids can see or sense more than what you tell them. Even if no one ever says anything in front of them they can feel things changing. Like an atmospheric pressure change or something. Think of a newborn baby. They have no idea what is going on around them, but if the people caring for them are tense and irritable the baby will be too.

 

[CharlieQ]

I would say it has increased since school started. I don't recall any mention of him feeling "weird" over the summer.



Yes he's been on ADHD meds for almost 2 years now.

But wasn't he off his patch all summer?

 

[fords8]

But wasn't he off his patch all summer?

Yep. The patch helps him to be "present" instead of scattered. So I think it makes him think about things more and maybe feel them more. It also makes his tics more pronounced. out:

 

[Swale2010]

I would say it has increased since school started. I don't recall any mention of him feeling "weird" over the summer.



Yes he's been on ADHD meds for almost 2 years now.



Yeah I know the feeling too as I'm also on anxiety meds. I'm almost grateful that I have anxiety so that I am able to recognize that he might also be dealing with it. Otherwise I would prolly just brush it off as him wanting attention or something.

I'm trying to think of how to talk to his Doctor about it without him listening........or should I let him listen? I'm affraid that if he knows he might have a problem that he'll think about it more often and make it worse.......does that make sense? He doesn't know I have anxiety...........I try not to use lables for people in my house..........just that people are different. Kind of like he didn't know he had "ADHD" for a long time until his brother told him about it. All he knew was that his medicine helps him be the best Matthew he can be.

My experience on this one is...talk to the doctor first. My daughter was having sleeping issues...real bad...wanted to go to the doctor so we went. I think her problem was that she was having guilty feelings because of the way that she was treating/thinking about people. Anyway, she just wanted her anxiety to go away....well when I talked with the pediatrician Michelle was there...he told her that it could go on for a looonnnggg time. That is not what she wanted to hear...poor baby started crying...now she hates this doctor and never wanted to see him again. This was a few years ago. She did eventually learn some coping skills from a counselor. She went to him until he told her that he gave her plenty of things to help her with her issues and it was now up to her.

I know our situations are very different...I had my son tested for ADHD. They told me that he does not have it but he is my kid that worries all the time. He is 17 and tells me all the time that he cannot exactly explain to me how he is feeling...but through different conversations...I think his main problem is that he is afraid to die. Such a hard conversation to have with children. I just tell him that we will support him and help him with whatever is bothering him. Your son sounds sweet and loving like my son. My son is also very sensitive...uhm, my daughter, not so much on the sensitive part...she can be kinda ****y and hurtful. My son just sweet. I also think that he still wants to just hug me and cry when he is feeling this way but he feels that he is too old for it now. He cuddled with me last week when he knew his dad and sister where not around and cried in my arms....**** now I am crying as I type this...dont ya hate when your kids are having a hard time. We want to make it better now! (((((((((((((((((((hug to you)))))))))))))))))))))

 

[fords8]

Oh Swale your DS sounds like such a sweet kid. My son will be like that too at that age. I'm certain of it. He tells me all the time that he won't move away ever (and I believe he won't want to). My DS is also affraid of dying.........breaks my heart. out:

 

[Swale2010]

Oh Swale your DS sounds like such a sweet kid. My son will be like that too at that age. I'm certain of it. He tells me all the time that he won't move away ever (and I believe he won't want to). My DS is also affraid of dying.........breaks my heart. out:

Everytime I come back to this thread, I start to tear up because I know exactly how you are feeling...my son is older than yours...so right now we are going through the whole...I really don't want to go away, away to college. I just don't want him to miss out on things but I don't want him to think that I am trying to push him into something that he is not comfortable with. I just take one day at a time...some days are better than others.....

 

[icoupon2]

I agree, talk to the doctor about it privately first and not in front of DS. I've always wanted to ask, are the docs ok with the on and off routine with the patch for school and summer? I don't know what is on, but a lot of these medications have a ramp up and level off period, he may still be adjusting to being back on the patch. I'll also say that even kids with ADHD who are getting good grades can have lots of anxiety about school. Especially if they are in the "everything must be just so" category. The anxiety of continued accomplishments can be just as stressful as getting bad grades. :huggy: to you and DS!

 

[fords8]

I agree, talk to the doctor about it privately first and not in front of DS. I've always wanted to ask, are the docs ok with the on and off routine with the patch for school and summer? I don't know what is on, but a lot of these medications have a ramp up and level off period, he may still be adjusting to being back on the patch. I'll also say that even kids with ADHD who are getting good grades can have lots of anxiety about school. Especially if they are in the "everything must be just so" category. The anxiety of continued accomplishments can be just as stressful as getting bad grades. :huggy: to you and DS!

Thanks hon. Ideally the doc would like to see him on his meds 7 days a week because when he's off he's SUPER crabby........like OMG a different kid. But like I've said before he loses too much weight because he won't eat as long as the patch is on. He dips bellow a healthy weight for him (have to buy slim jeans). So he eats like a horse all weekend long, but OMG is he a bear! I'm going to talk to the doc about giving half a dose on the weekend to curb the crabby yet maybe he can eat. I did it on my own a few times and it seemed to work. Then I ran out of half sized patches (his old scrip). His meds are a patch on his hip. SO I'm going to ask for a scrip for his old mg. patch for the weekends.

And yes he is very particular about how things are done. He doesn't like to participate in contests for fear of losing..........he gets SOOOO upset every year when the school spelling bee rolls around. He does well, but because he doesn't win he gets upset. In second grade the school had a coloring contest to color a picture of a pumpkin. He put his all into it (a Pokepunkin (Pokemon) and was sure he would win. When he didn't he cried and cried and has refused to do another creative contest again because "what's the point?!". :surrender: I think this is also why he refuses to play sports because he knows he won't be the best so why bother. out:

 

[Steve]

mrsmom......it's ok......Everyone has "issues". Try not to dwell on it.
hugs.

 

[kewpon addict]

I think many peeps are "afraid" of dying not just young kids....hell DH and I get freaked out thinking about it!

 

[CharlieQ]

But wasn't he off his patch all summer?

Yep. The patch helps him to be "present" instead of scattered. So I think it makes him think about things more and maybe feel them more. It also makes his tics more pronounced. out:

Sorry, my point was that maybe him being off of it all summer his body is getting re-acclimated to the meds.

 

[fords8]

mrsmom......it's ok......Everyone has "issues". Try not to dwell on it.
hugs.

I'm not dwelling..........I'm trying to pay attention in order to see if my son needs extra help.

Again I'm trying not to play into it too much like just a while ago while doing homework he said "I'm feeling weird again." I was making dinner...........didn't wanna make a big deal about it and just said "You're fine, sit back down and get your homework done." which he did.

I'm thinking I may not need to get him any extra help for years, but I do want to keep track of any patterns of what's going on.