Bad-**** Quotient System (measure someone's bad-assness)

[suncrafter]

I love it when people have "who would win in a fight" conversations. You know the kind - "Who would win in a fight between Robocop and the Terminator?" or "Who would win a fight between Peewee Herman and Gilligan?" Etc...

But something that is always laking in those conversations is a proper, quantifiable, measurement of how much of a "bad-****" someone or something is.

Toward that end - here is my BAQ (Bad **** Quotient) System:

Fire Ant ---------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1
Sewer Rat ------------------------------------------------ BAQ = 10
Chiwawa --------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 100
Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue -------- BAQ = 1,000
Green Beret armed with a machete ------------ BAQ = 10,000
Silverback Gorilla ------------------------------------- BAQ = 100,000
Black Rhino -------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1,000,000
Tyrannosaurus Rex ---------------------------------- BAQ = 10,000,000

It would take about 10 fire ants to evenly fight 1 sewer rat.
It would take about 10 sewer rats to evenly fight 1 Chiwawa.
It would take about 10 Chiwawas to evenly fight 1 drunk redneck armed with a pool cue.
ETC...

Now we have a scale on which we can use to measure the "Bad-assness" of almost anyone or anything!

Here are just a few examples (the compleate list can be found here http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html):

Butterfly ================================================= 0 BAQ
Fire Ant ------------------------------------------------------------- 1 BAQ
Wasp =================================================== 3 BAQ
Gerbil =================================================== 5 BAQ
Tarantula ================================================= 7 BAQ
Sewer Rat ---------------------------------------------------------- 10 BAQ
Rabbit ================================================== 35 BAQ
Vampire Bat ============================================== 49 BAQ
House Cat ================================================ 88 BAQ
Lobster ================================================== 90 BAQ
Chiwawa ----------------------------------------------------------- 100 BAQ
Rooster (armed with ****-fighting spurs) ========================== 102 BAQ
Possum ================================================== 287 BAQ
Munchkin - from "Wizard of Oz" ================================= 289 BAQ
Gilligan =================================================== 306 BAQ
Oompa Loompa - from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ============== 308 BAQ
Barn Owl ================================================== 421 BAQ
Peewee Herman ============================================= 422 BAQ
3PCO - from "Star Wars" ======================================= 449 BAQ
Crack **** ================================================ 550 BAQ
Zombie ==================================================== 749 BAQ
Woopi Goldburge ============================================= 831 BAQ
Howard Stern ================================================ 852 BAQ
Hawkeye Pierce - from the tv show "M.A.S.H." ======================== 856 BAQ
Rush Limbaugh =============================================== 998 BAQ
Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------------------- 1,000 BAQ
George W. Bush ============================================= 1,105 BAQ
Ferris Bueller - from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" ========================= 1,290 BAQ
Jeffrey Dahmer =============================================== 1,301 BAQ
Tiger Woods (armed with golf club) ================================= 1,439 BAQ
Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (unarmed) ================= 1,685 BAQ
Gremlin - from the movie "Gremlins" ================================ 1,696 BAQ
Stalin ====================================================== 1,985 BAQ
Pimp ====================================================== 1,990 BAQ
Wolf ======================================================= 2,144 BAQ
Boa Constrictor =============================================== 2,312 BAQ
OJ Simpson (with glove and knife) =================================== 3,100 BAQ
Virgil Tibbs - from "In the Heat of the Night" ============================= 3,148 BAQ
Wolverine - the animal ============================================ 3,345 BAQ
Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (unarmed) ============================= 3,507 BAQ
R2D2 - from "Star Wars" ========================================== 3,965 BAQ
Matador (armed with red cape and lance) ============================== 3,989 BAQ
Snake Plissken from "Escape from New York" (unarmed) ================== 6,010 BAQ
Hannibal Lector ================================================ 6,047 BAQ
Orc Soldier - from "Lord of the Rings" (armed with sword) =================== 7,093 BAQ
Sumo Wrestler ================================================= 7,810 BAQ
New York City Fire Fighter (armed with ax) ============================= 7,896 BAQ
Mike Tyson =================================================== 7,961 BAQ
Rocky Balboa - from the movie "Rocky" =============================== 8,501 BAQ
B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (unarmed) =========================== 8,627 BAQ
Chuck Norris ================================================== 8,812 BAQ
Green Beret armed with a machete ------------------------- 10,000 BAQ
Jackie Chan ================================================== 12,791 BAQ
L.A. Cop (armed) ============================================== 15,480 BAQ
Alligator ==================================================== 16,812 BAQ
Chewbacca - from "Star Wars" (unarmed) ============================ 19,947 BAQ
Rambo (armed with his knife) ===================================== 19,990 BAQ
Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (armed with sword and musket) = 20,005 BAQ
"7 of 9" - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ================================ 21,947 BAQ
Harry Callahan - from "Dirty Harry" (armed)============================ 22,110 BAQ
Worf - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ================================== 31,014 BAQ
Zbigniew Krycsiwiki AKA "Jaws" - henchman/villan from James Bond movies === 40,801 BAQ
Elf (armed with sword) ========================================== 42,260 BAQ
Lion ======================================================= 48,585 BAQ
Conan the Barbarian (armed with sword) ============================= 52,026 BAQ
Borg Drone - from "Star Trek" ===================================== 68,992 BAQ
Worf - from "Star Trek" (armed with Batleth) =========================== 71,004 BAQ
Vampire ==================================================== 79,323 BAQ
Medieval Knight (full armor, on horseback, armed with sword and sheald) ====== 81,150 BAQ
Jason - from "Friday the 13th" (armed with machete) ==================== 91,313 BAQ
Phoenix - from Greek mythology ================================== 98,200 BAQ
Silverback Gorilla -------------------------------------- 100,000 BAQ
bull ======================================================= 101,693 BAQ
Indiana Jones (armed with his whip & gun) =========================== 101,771 BAQ
Robocop (armed) ============================================= 120,100 BAQ
James Bond (armed with his gun) ================================= 131,007 BAQ
Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (armed with his "little friend") ============= 150,507 BAQ
Raptor ===================================================== 152,560 BAQ
Chimera - from Greek mythology ================================== 189,324 BAQ
Green Beret (armed with AK47) =================================== 190,221 BAQ
Alien - from the movie "Aliens" ==================================== 203,331 BAQ
B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (armed with AK47) =================== 203,627 BAQ
Rambo (armed with AK47 and his knife) ============================= 220,603 BAQ
Colonial Marine - from the movie "Aliens" (with pulse rifle/grenade launcher) ==== 290,320 BAQ
Wonder Woman (armed with lasso and bracelets) ====================== 291,239 BAQ
Darth Vader (unarmed) ========================================= 292,405 BAQ
Predator - from the movie "Predator" (armed) ========================== 309,811 BAQ
Black Rhino --------------------------------------- 1,000,000 BAQ
Boba Fett - From "Star Wars" (armed) =============================== 1,000,059 BAQ
Vasquez - Colonial Marine from the movie "Aliens" (armed with "Smart Gun") === 1,005,622 BAQ
Darth Vader (armed with light saber) ================================ 1,703,405 BAQ
Graboid - from the movie "Tremors" ================================= 2,164,403 BAQ
Ellephant =================================================== 3,064,416 BAQ
Oliphaunt =================================================== 9,193,248 BAQ
Clifford the Big Red Dog ========================================= 9,224,710 BAQ
Tyrannosaurus Rex ----------------------------------- 10,000,000 BAQ
Incredible Hulk ============================================== 10,005,106 BAQ
Magneto - from X-men movie ==================================== 12,200,943 BAQ
Giant - from "Jack and the Bean Stalk" ============================ 22,001,274 BAQ
King Kong ================================================= 90,567,890 BAQ
Smaug - the dragon from "The Hobbit" ============================ 101,020,680 BAQ
Godzilla ================================================== 101,052,302 BAQ
Kraken - from "Clash of the Titans" =============================== 120,425,300 BAQ
Zeus - king of the Greek gods ================================= 2,009,907,329 BAQ

You can find the whole list here:
http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html




Questions for all of you...

1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.)
2) Who or what should I add to the above list.
3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands?

 

[Unforgiven]

1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.) 15
2) Who or what should I add to the above list. Bruce Lee
3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands? Possibly.

 

[suncrafter]

I've updated my "Bad-**** Quotient" list! Unfortunetly the list is now too large to post here...
So if you want to see the NEW list, you will need to visit: http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html

Bruce Lee was added.
Here are just a few of the 100 or so other people/things that I added to the list:

Goose ============================================================ 205 BAQ
Triumph - the insult comic dog =================================== 311 BAQ
Mahatma Gandhi =================================================== 409 BAQ
Mr. Noodle ======================================================= 411 BAQ
Stephanie - from "Lazy Town" ==================================== 498 BAQ
"Bogeyman" ======================================================= 500 BAQ
Paris Hilton ===================================================== 565 BAQ
Sarah Silverman ================================================ 1,091 BAQ
Al Franken ===================================================== 1,155 BAQ
Charlie Chaplin ================================================ 2,585 BAQ
Xenia Onatopp - from "GoldenEye" ============================== 6,022 BAQ
Kira Nerys - from "Star Trek" ================================== 6,040 BAQ
Genghis Khan (armed with spear, club and fuzzy hat) =========== 19,549 BAQ
Captain America (armed with his shield) ===================== 44,966 BAQ
Alyx Vance - from "Half-Life 2" (armed with pistol & shotgun)= 290,967 BAQ
Rancor - monster from "Return of the Jedi" ================ 13,909,786 BAQ
Mothra =================================================== 115,537,207 BAQ
Superman =============================================== 1,002,065,711 BAQ

Like I said, the whole list (all 259) can be found here:
http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html

Who or what else should I add to the list?

 

[dustinzgirl]

1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.) 3,000,000 I think I would fair well in a fight against Yoda, but Q would mess my crap up.
2) Who or what should I add to the above list. Oh my, lets see (sorry if some of these are on there, I just didn't see them)
John McLaine
Elminster
Buffy
Bruce Cambell
Duddits (dreamcatcher)
Roland Deschain
The Crimson King
Errol Flynn (shup, I love him.)
Gandalf
Ripley (aliens)
The Charmed Ones (lol)
Malcolm Renolds (Firefly)
Number Six
Starbuck
Doc Oc
Optimus Prime/Megatron
Ghost Rider
Star Sapphire
Vampirella
Razor, Strike, or Morbid Angel
Mr. Freeze
Gargoyle
GALACTACUS.
PS: Queen Boudicca, Alexander the Great, Joan of Arc
3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands? Well, I think I do at least. Pluse I'm fairly sure I just admitted to being an uber nerd.

 

[spidergoolash]

1) my badassness is the equivalent of a goose.

2) king leonidas is a bad-****. and a nice-looking one at that. darth vader is also an uber bad ****. so is roy baty.

3) i guess i have too much time on my hands if i'm doing this survey :D

 

[Nightwolf04]

1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.)

about what 50?

2) Who or what should I add to the above list.

p!nk, nuff said


3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands?

sometimes, but then im always doing stuff in that time =]

 

[Swordlol]

1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.) I would like to think I can beat a lobster... so maybe 91?
2) Who or what should I add to the above list. Optimus Prime... SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT!
3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands? Nope.

 

[suncrafter]

Thank you. I'll add some/most of those the next time I update the list.
Anyone else have more to add?