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True, but then we'd be too much like men, and there wouldn't be any fun!
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Bash WOMEN (Not meant to be sexist)
- Thread starter greyscale42
- Start date
women
I know what you mean. A lot of women do that, but not all. I mean, I don't think you're being sexist, but not all women are the same. I pride myself in being different. Most guys I know talk to me more than their other guy buddies. I don't see how they can play that whole damsel in distress thing, I would totally find that embarresing.
I know what you mean. A lot of women do that, but not all. I mean, I don't think you're being sexist, but not all women are the same. I pride myself in being different. Most guys I know talk to me more than their other guy buddies. I don't see how they can play that whole damsel in distress thing, I would totally find that embarresing.
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TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE
Truth be told we all, at one time or other, have felt we would “die†because our girlfriend/boyfriend “dumped usâ€, kicked us to the curb. Obviously, we lived! Or perhaps I am alone, talking to myself and responding to computer generated posts. (Just kidding about that last line!)
Immediately, we point the finger of blame toward the wounding party. We claim not to understand women, we bash ex-boyfriends, we become angry or withdrawn or worse yet, we swear on a dead relative's grave that never, NEVER will we become involved again. Alas it is human nature to look outside of oneself for answers rather than examine what lies within.
Understanding your part of the equation is not easy. It takes work. Today we are so bombarded with outside stimuli that we feel we will go insane if the power goes out. No TV, no X-Box, no PS2,no DVDs, no computer. Oh the horrors! You are left to actually create your own entertainment. No escaping the dark. I feel that because of all the gadgets we have today, we are losing our ability to communicate with each other. When push comes to shove, we have been escaping our true feelings since we were old enough to develop a conscience. Shame based feelings,feelings of guilt or persecution become buried deep within and lie dormant for years. Then suddenly, poof, that never dealt with feeling surfaces and chaos erupts. Her fault, his fault,their fault, NEVER my fault! There is only one way to win this battle -SURRENDER. Admitting you are powerless makes you powerful! That old cliche - you can't truly love someone if you can't love yourself - is not an empty statement.
It is my belief that the more loving we are toward ourselves, the more loving we naturally are toward others. We also become clearer in our thoughts and begin to appreciate open communication. Every adult has an “inner childâ€, a child who needs validation of his/her feelings. This may sound rather sissy to some of you younger fellows, however, when we honestly work through unresolved issues (and there are few who don’t have them) we are more conscious of our defenses, of when we are coming from our still somewhat wounded child, and when this contaminates our adult interactions. We are able to react less, to be more honest, to take responsibility and own our own feelings. We no longer blindly project or easily blame others.
John Bradshaw writes “In reclaiming and championing your wounded inner child, you give him the positive, unconditional acceptance that he craves. That will release him to recognize and love others for who they are†(Bradshaw, 1990, p. 40).
I am a strong proponent for Inner child grief work. I have never felt that this is strictly a “chick thing†as my pal contends. We were all babies, all children at one time. Surly being a child isn’t a trait that only women can claim as their own.
Looking within, examining your insecurities, facing and verbalizing your doubts and fears helps you create the self-compassion that allows you to then love others on deeper levels than before. With this connection and self compassion, we no longer feel like a victim, for we are healing ourselves inside. With self love, we are more loving and empowered. We are big. We are grown. And if that makes me appear less than the “Mucho, Machoâ€, oh well! Guilty as charged! Didn't Sinatra crooned “I’ve gotta be me?†Nothing sissy about him!
Truth be told we all, at one time or other, have felt we would “die†because our girlfriend/boyfriend “dumped usâ€, kicked us to the curb. Obviously, we lived! Or perhaps I am alone, talking to myself and responding to computer generated posts. (Just kidding about that last line!)
Immediately, we point the finger of blame toward the wounding party. We claim not to understand women, we bash ex-boyfriends, we become angry or withdrawn or worse yet, we swear on a dead relative's grave that never, NEVER will we become involved again. Alas it is human nature to look outside of oneself for answers rather than examine what lies within.
Understanding your part of the equation is not easy. It takes work. Today we are so bombarded with outside stimuli that we feel we will go insane if the power goes out. No TV, no X-Box, no PS2,no DVDs, no computer. Oh the horrors! You are left to actually create your own entertainment. No escaping the dark. I feel that because of all the gadgets we have today, we are losing our ability to communicate with each other. When push comes to shove, we have been escaping our true feelings since we were old enough to develop a conscience. Shame based feelings,feelings of guilt or persecution become buried deep within and lie dormant for years. Then suddenly, poof, that never dealt with feeling surfaces and chaos erupts. Her fault, his fault,their fault, NEVER my fault! There is only one way to win this battle -SURRENDER. Admitting you are powerless makes you powerful! That old cliche - you can't truly love someone if you can't love yourself - is not an empty statement.
It is my belief that the more loving we are toward ourselves, the more loving we naturally are toward others. We also become clearer in our thoughts and begin to appreciate open communication. Every adult has an “inner childâ€, a child who needs validation of his/her feelings. This may sound rather sissy to some of you younger fellows, however, when we honestly work through unresolved issues (and there are few who don’t have them) we are more conscious of our defenses, of when we are coming from our still somewhat wounded child, and when this contaminates our adult interactions. We are able to react less, to be more honest, to take responsibility and own our own feelings. We no longer blindly project or easily blame others.
John Bradshaw writes “In reclaiming and championing your wounded inner child, you give him the positive, unconditional acceptance that he craves. That will release him to recognize and love others for who they are†(Bradshaw, 1990, p. 40).
I am a strong proponent for Inner child grief work. I have never felt that this is strictly a “chick thing†as my pal contends. We were all babies, all children at one time. Surly being a child isn’t a trait that only women can claim as their own.
Looking within, examining your insecurities, facing and verbalizing your doubts and fears helps you create the self-compassion that allows you to then love others on deeper levels than before. With this connection and self compassion, we no longer feel like a victim, for we are healing ourselves inside. With self love, we are more loving and empowered. We are big. We are grown. And if that makes me appear less than the “Mucho, Machoâ€, oh well! Guilty as charged! Didn't Sinatra crooned “I’ve gotta be me?†Nothing sissy about him!
Irish I would have given you reputation for that, but I will have to spread some more around before I do. I admire your posting skills. Thanks for inlightining us. YAY FOR IRISH!!
Women do victimize themselves. I think they fall into the trap societal norms set for them. And they don't think they're supposed to engage in activities like computers, chess and video games. I think I have only one female friend who even knows how to play chess.
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Rascal said:just felt i had to pitch in 'cuz it's really starting to piss me off now too lol. i'm like pure nice guy, i'm not gonna treat a girl like crap just to get a rise out of her, i don't treat anyone like crap. i treat people the way *I* want to be treated, with respect. now this all isn't to say that i'm not funny and fun to be around and happy and joyful and all that fun stuff, but what's the effect of all that? you get to be "friends', and if you want more, the girl is all "well, i never thought of you that way" and then turns the conversation around to "this guy i'm seeing, i hate this guy, i don't even know why i'm seeing him" and you sit their dumbfounded. heh, i need start up a good bash about this one girl...soon lol.
No suprise at all that you treat people well and with respect it is so obvious through your writings and the energy you send out through the computer. I really am positive that you will have the most wonderful girl come into your life, just keep sending out your positive light like you do and you two will find each other. Believe me many girls or women love nice guys and they are more than willling to give their hearts and souls to them. Just be patient sometimes the best things in life take a while to come to us, I think that is so that we will appreciate them more.
The Simpsons illustrated this concept perfectly in the episode where Lisa dates Nelson. She said, "I want to bring out the Milhouse in Nelson." Milhouse explains to her that he's ALL Milhouse, yet she's oblivious and illogical. Typical chick.
Very true Mark. Maybe it's the whole wanting to be the great woman behind the great man thing. If we take a guy who is not as much as he thinks he is and make him realize it then there is a great sense of accomplishment. It can almost be the control issue thing too.
I think it comes from the whole "misunderstood" thing. You want to be "the only one who understands him" and so girls tend to think that there IS something hidden that everyone else misunderstands..."the poor misunderstood soul, all he needs is for someone to truly love him."
They just don't realise that some people are NOT misunderstood...they are understood quite clearly and they are actually an ****! Not "a teddy-bear deep down inside"...just an ****.
Some girls think that their love can change a man. But, honestly, do THEY expect the guy to change them? No! They would be offended. It's a double-standard. You can change them just as much as they can change you - not at all.
They just don't realise that some people are NOT misunderstood...they are understood quite clearly and they are actually an ****! Not "a teddy-bear deep down inside"...just an ****.
Some girls think that their love can change a man. But, honestly, do THEY expect the guy to change them? No! They would be offended. It's a double-standard. You can change them just as much as they can change you - not at all.
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I completely agree with Damm, if you enter a relationship with the thought that you are going to "change" the person, your relationship is already doomed. Like the song says "I gotta be ME". True there are times when both parties need to come to an agreement on certain issues and that may involve some give and take, however, no one person should have the final say. There should be a mutual agreement. Entering a relationship means accepting the other - warts and all.
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Yup! Just as we do here on Bash Anything!
Off topic... I just came from the mall where I was waiting for a half hour in a cell phone store to change my billing plan (don't ask... BASH VERIZON WIRELESS). Anyway, this very normal looking guy walks in with his two teenage daughters. One looked about 14, the other, maybe 12. The 12 year old is wearing teeny, tiny shorts, which was bad enough, but it gets worse! She turns around, and I see a pair of hand prints on her ****! That is the style? You buy your 12 year daughter little ****ty shorts with hand prints on her ****? HOW THE HELL CAN THIS GUY LET HIS DAUGHTER WEAR CLOTHES LIKE THIS!
THANK GOD I HAVE A SON! :eusa_doh:
THANK GOD I HAVE A SON! :eusa_doh:
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You SHOULD be glad you have a son, until your poor son is accused of mistreating someone with writing on her little **** that he meets in a mall. Teach him well, Nova...
The worst part is, I found myself thinking, "Wow, nice ****!" :eusa_wall
:laughing3 Which was immediately followed by, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!":nono:
I swear, within 10 years, in the summer, girls are going to just wear pasties up top! :eusa_shif
:laughing3 Which was immediately followed by, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!":nono:
I swear, within 10 years, in the summer, girls are going to just wear pasties up top! :eusa_shif
I completely agree with you GoingNova! The clothes they are marketing to pre-teens these days makes me sick. It's like someone sat down and said, "Oh hey! I have an idea! Let's teach girls to be ****s earlier by focusing on promoting a sexy body-image at the age of 10!"
I mean honestly, I wonder what is going to happen to these poor girls' self-esteems, all their clothes seem to indicate that the most important thing to them is "turning heads."
I mean honestly, I wonder what is going to happen to these poor girls' self-esteems, all their clothes seem to indicate that the most important thing to them is "turning heads."
Damm said:
They just don't realise that some people are NOT misunderstood...they are understood quite clearly and they are actually an ****! Not "a teddy-bear deep down inside"...just an ****.
OMG you know my husband don't you?! lmao
The whole sexy clothes thing. OK I bought this shirt a year or two ago and it's one of those tops that looks like a hanky that ties at the back of the neck. Well it was agreed that it would not be worn out of the house. The girls love playing dress up and I allow them to wear this hanky shirt to play in. The other day I come into the kitchen and my middle daughter says "mom, I got to go to the store with papa." I looked over to ask her if she had a good time and noticed she is wearing the hanky shirt with a pair of black pants, she looked like she was going clubbing or something. I said um, you didn't go in that did you? She kinda looked at me funny and said yes. I flew off the handle and lost it. I threw the top away and she cried and cried about it. I told her if she ever went out of the house like that again I would get my paddle and made her leave her dinner plate to go change. Papa felt bad and said he didn't even pay attention to what she was wearing and was in a hurry to go and that he was sorry. But my mother in law has to make me look like a horrible monster and say "well you don't have to throw it away, she could still wear it around the house." Who the hell is her parent here? If I don't want the opportunity to come up ever again for it to be worn out of the house the best soultion is to get rid of it, right? I have learned my lesson and will not be buying anymore little clothes for them to play in. Megan is 7 and is very pretty too, she won't wear a top if it shows her belly when she lifts her arms, and she insists on wearing shorts under her dresses. I am going to have much more of a battle with Ashley I think. She is just a little to free spirited to not have more strick boudaries.
Sigh. Children are growing up too quickly...lol I sound like I'm way older than I am. But it feels like I'm suppsoed to be younger than these kids because their wearing clothes more revealing than even my generation would wear.
It's weird going out in normal clothes, see some mates, go shopping. Then seeing other girls like that doing exactly what me and my mates are doing but wearing stuff as though their 18+, I have no idea how their rents let them do that...if my little girl (speaking non literally of course) went out in something like that, I'd demand she take it off, sure she can wear something a little less 'normal', mayeb a top that shows a little bit of tummy, because all girls do, but not something that only covers what should eb her cleveage and skirts that are becoming non exsistant with every passing day...lol
It's weird going out in normal clothes, see some mates, go shopping. Then seeing other girls like that doing exactly what me and my mates are doing but wearing stuff as though their 18+, I have no idea how their rents let them do that...if my little girl (speaking non literally of course) went out in something like that, I'd demand she take it off, sure she can wear something a little less 'normal', mayeb a top that shows a little bit of tummy, because all girls do, but not something that only covers what should eb her cleveage and skirts that are becoming non exsistant with every passing day...lol
Sicander said:The truth is men and women are different in exactly the right ways.
Hehe. Amen to that.
So, a few months back I ranted on this thread about a girl I was involved with and who I told off with what I thought was a pretty understandable "Don't ever ****in talk to me again." That was about 5 months ago. Today, she sent me the most pathetic IM: "are you still mad at me? :-( " Actually, no, I just plain don't like you and was hoping you would never talk to me again as I had indicated in our previous conversation. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? It's about as close to an apology as she's going to give me, but she'll never actually say that she's sorry. Even if she did apologize, I would accept the apology, but still choose not to talk to her anymore because I'm not an emotional masichist.
Here's a hint. If your not-so-significant other tells you that you're a terrible person and that he/she does not ever want to speak with you again, you should refrain from speaking to that person. It's really very simple. Maybe she's due for another screaming session.
Here's a hint. If your not-so-significant other tells you that you're a terrible person and that he/she does not ever want to speak with you again, you should refrain from speaking to that person. It's really very simple. Maybe she's due for another screaming session.
