Cheating
- Thread starter Cierra
- Start date
I think that its awful and if it happened to me then I would definately end my relationship with the girl as I don't think the trust in the relationship would be good and that would mean that it wouldn't be very good.
Trust is also a very big deal for me. I don't think I can tolerate it when somebody breaks my trust, no matter how much I love that person.
However, I've seen people who bravely forgive someone who cheats on them. Few become successful in their relationships. I wonder if it really is right to have such a beautiful heart because... I don't know, it feels wrong to let someone else hurt you when you have the choice to be free of that.
However, I've seen people who bravely forgive someone who cheats on them. Few become successful in their relationships. I wonder if it really is right to have such a beautiful heart because... I don't know, it feels wrong to let someone else hurt you when you have the choice to be free of that.
In my relationship before this one I did not handle it very well. I had given him the impression that I forgave him by telling him so but I never really truly did and was constantly paranoid about it and found myself checking his computer and phone a lot. *sighs* Sad thing is, because I had a reason to - he always kept trying to hide his correspondence with other girls. No matter how much I "forgave him" and still stayed with him in the end he left me. Which I am now grateful for though because I am happily married to my husband.
Sharon said:
Sharon, that's really sad but it is a good lesson, isn't it? So often in my life that I say "I'm okay" or "I forgive you" but when I can get depressed or mad over not-so-big things, it shows how I actually have not forgiven anything. Even less to forget about it. In a sense I'm glad it was him who walked away from you, so you could stop suffering.
Mayu said:
Thanks. Don't get me wrong I made mistakes I admit - I shouldn't have been so complying and remained a doormat. I should have showed him the door at his first offence. I'm really glad that he walked away and allowed me to grow. We were both too young for a serious relationship I think. It's interesting how a bad situation can seem like such a nightmare and looking back on it - it had to happen.
Cheating is--and always will be--a deal breaker for me. It use to bother me but I'd just let it happen and go crawling back. That's what young, dumb, and in love will do to you. Finally, after almost six years, I had enough and left the man that cheated on me numerous times. Now, I'm married to someone who treats me with respect and dignity. He's never done anything to indicate he'd do something like that.
Mayu said:Do you have any tips on detecting if someone cheats on you? Well, not like I suspect my bf cheating on me, but I guess it never hurts to be prepared in advanced.
Ugh, I have good tips. Don't steal his phone, asking if you can check his Facebook messages or keep hearing his calls. Don't do this to much like my girlfriend and dont keep asking things like "Who is she?". Trusting is the best you can do.
My girlfriend ignored me for 10minutes, showed me my phone(I sent a message with a <3 ) and she asked me "Who is she?". My answer: my mom.
Zimm said:
It's great that you finally gathered the courage to leave him! It must've been really hard but glad you finally arrived there. We need to fight for what's best for us, eh?
Hugop said:Mayu said:Do you have any tips on detecting if someone cheats on you? Well, not like I suspect my bf cheating on me, but I guess it never hurts to be prepared in advanced.
Ugh, I have good tips. Don't steal his phone, asking if you can check his Facebook messages or keep hearing his calls. Don't do this to much like my girlfriend and dont keep asking things like "Who is she?". Trusting is the best you can do.
My girlfriend ignored me for 10minutes, showed me my phone(I sent a message with a <3 ) and she asked me "Who is she?". My answer: my mom.
I know, haha. Thanks for reminding anyway. I never did that nor planning to do so. It violates his privacy, I think. I agree that trusting is very important. At this moment I don't have reasons to doubt him and hopefully it will stay that way for long time.
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I honestly think that cheating is the worst thing you can do while in a relationship. This breaks your trust with your partner, and it shows them that you're not even interested in them anymore if you're unfaithful. If you have these thoughts, it's probably best just to end it with the person you're with now, and go with the person you were thinking about cheating with. If I was ever cheated on, I'd immediately would break it off with my girlfriend.
Its hard to just shut off feelings and tell someone to go away forever because they betrayed you, but thats the only way you can move on. Keeping the person around will only make you hurt daily for as long as that relationship lasts.
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I am unsure... my first reaction is to say "deal breaker" but I have been in the receiving grey zone before in a past relationship. I decided to forgive, only because this person didn't go all the way and instead called me that same night in regret. I still wonder if that was actually somethinG I should consider cheating or a sign of fidelity my partner didn't go down with the other person advances. Admittedly, I only have one side of the story and for all I know I have been lied to. Hahah.
Anyway, in my current relationship I trust my partner and I believe we're both mature enough to talk us off if we for some reason don't click anymore. If I knew for sure my dove cheated on me I don't think I'd stay. It'd be devastating and I doubt I could bring myself up to trust them again. That pillar gone I can only see the relationship taking a nose dive. Besides, I want to be with someone who have a similar moral compass in this kind of thing.
Another thing worth mentioning is that I care for intention and circumstance too, so if my love kisses someone in a dare game, acting out or something like that I can acknowledge is not something with consequences... I'll just get jelly and maybe mind if it happens a bit too often, y'know what I mean.
Anyway, in my current relationship I trust my partner and I believe we're both mature enough to talk us off if we for some reason don't click anymore. If I knew for sure my dove cheated on me I don't think I'd stay. It'd be devastating and I doubt I could bring myself up to trust them again. That pillar gone I can only see the relationship taking a nose dive. Besides, I want to be with someone who have a similar moral compass in this kind of thing.
Another thing worth mentioning is that I care for intention and circumstance too, so if my love kisses someone in a dare game, acting out or something like that I can acknowledge is not something with consequences... I'll just get jelly and maybe mind if it happens a bit too often, y'know what I mean.
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If someone is already a known cheater I don't why would anyone take the risk lightly and get into a serious relationship with them.Seraph said:
I think most of the time you learn half the way about their antics , it is amazing the extreme some of them reach just to keep their cheating lives.
Happened 3 times(that i know of) and that's how the walls where built
First time i cried like a baby
Second time i was just pissed and cursed him out
Third time i wanted to be lesbian so hard
Now i just don't care anymore, if i suspect somethings going on, i get out without saying a word and never contact them again, because if there is one thing i learned with all of this ... they either have an answer to everything and make you pass for the crazy person or they just flat out deny it even if i have concrete proof .
First time i cried like a baby
Second time i was just pissed and cursed him out
Third time i wanted to be lesbian so hard
Now i just don't care anymore, if i suspect somethings going on, i get out without saying a word and never contact them again, because if there is one thing i learned with all of this ... they either have an answer to everything and make you pass for the crazy person or they just flat out deny it even if i have concrete proof .
