Friends turning their back on you...

[Kirk]

I don't know if this is a rant or asking for advice or just an observation; I think it's a bit of all three, but more-so the latter if I'm honest. So, my question; what is it with people turning their back on each-other?


From personal experience, it doesn't really seem to take me much effort to turn someone against me. I've literally been in situations where one minute I'm best friends with someone, and then the next time I speak to them they hate my guts for no inexplicable reason. I generally don't care what people think of me, but when someone you trusted doesn't want to know you anymore, it does raise questions about either myself or what others have been saying. It's a shame really, because there's many people I'd just much prefer to sit down and discuss our issues with rather than be at each-other's throats, but try as I might I never seem to get through to them. I can be stubborn myself, but even I know when things are completely unnecessary or out of hand. I suppose my biggest failure in this regard has been the entire communities of people that have turned against me, and whilst I'm not asking for any sympathy here I would just like to note that it has hurt me in many ways.

I say this, but I know who my friends are. There's people on this forum right now who stuck by me for many years and they will never totally understand how grateful I am to have them at my side; even if I ain't met any of them they are still my closest friends, and although that may be a sad statement for some...I personally think it's more of a testament to how the internet can bring people closer together.



So, how about you guys/gals? Have you lost many friends to rumors or through your own actions? How do you remedy this, if at all?

 

[BeautifulAngel]

I've lost many, many friends in the past from either people starting rumors about me or they just stopped talking to me for unknown reasons. The best thing I can tell you Kirk is that people now in days are more fake, phony, and they use people to get what they want, and once they get what they want they are gone. A lot of people these days are kind of like "fast food" I say fast food because it's like a fast pace thing, they want what they want and once they get it they are gone. Another thing I've noticed about people is that a lot of people don't like to get close to others because they've been hurt a lot in the past and they feel as though if they let anyone in, or if they get close to anyone they are opening themselves to get hurt, which obviously they don't want so they run.

I also notice that with a lot of people these days they don't want to work at things, or talk things out. They want to take the easy way out, and the easy way out is to just stop talking to you and to pretend that you never existed. It's sad but true, many, many people don't like to talk out arguments or work things out because it takes energy, time, and willingness and I find a lot of people these days (no offense to anyone) are lazy and don't want to work at all or put in the effort to make peace with someone.

The best advice I can give you Kirk is that if people aren't willing to work on things with you and aren't willing to give you the time of day and talk things out then, they aren't worth your friendship. I've only met you a few days ago but I can already tell by the posts you've made and by the way you've been so thankful for all of my help that you're an amazing individual and that you truly care about people. What is really wonderful is that people have burnt you in the past and have ignored you, yet you STILL want to work things out and talk things through. You are very strong and I must say that is an extraordinary quality to have. Don't let people get you down because they don't want to work at things or talk things out, you deserve amazing friends who will do anything for you and who no matter what, will always be there for you. If they can't see how much of an awesome person you are, it is there mistake and they are honestly the ones missing out on an outstanding friend and a very compassionate, caring, honest, and strong individual that you are.

I hope this cheers you up and and answers some of your questions Kirk =) Let me know if you ever want to talk, I'm always here for you

 

[lauren]

^ That's a lovely post ^_^

Honestly Kirk I agree with everything she said up there ^

You've admitted sometimes you act in a way you understand might not aid a situation but often you're the only one who seems to care or seems to actually be trying to fix things. I know what friends you're talking about, and they're not worth the friendship is they're not even going to talk it out.
You're a wonderful person <3

 

[Devin]

I've thankfully never had this happen, have only lost friends from drifting apart, but I have seen it happen to others often. It seems to be that they have an argument and fall out but then one side doesn't want to reconcile with the other which makes it difficult for anything to be sorted out. I've also seen it where people decide that they can't be friends with someone simply because their friends don't like them or something which is pretty pathetic really as you shouldn't allow others to determine who you should and shouldn't be friends with. Another is just that one person says something hurtful and doesn't realise how much it hurts the other so doesn't apologise; but I doubt you've done this as it doesn't seem like you.

The thing is that you shouldn't let it get to you - they're obviously not worth it if they treat you like that in the end. Obviously it hurts to lose friends but it does reveal their true nature so you can look back on it and be happy that you aren't friends with such people any more.

 

[Junipi]

I've had "friends" that are just people who intend to have me think that they are genuinely my friend. As far as I can remember. Then I've also lost my friends to rumors or the fact that they can't keep our private conversations to themselves. It's a shame but that's my experience as far as this goes. I've even had people that it was completely my fault for them to act the way they did that I apologize to and they treat me coldly for it.

 

[Solitaire]

Fortunately I have not been in this kind of situation for many years now, and hopefully I never will again.

However I have always remembered my beloved late Grandfather telling me, when I would rush home from school crying my eyes out that I had lost my best friend/friends etc. (yes, we have all been there).....A true friend never leaves you, therefore they were never friends with you in the first place.....Food for thought perhaps.