- #1
Thread Owner
Well it is going on 4 months and things are coming out now. Some of my in laws after dropped off, the occassional phone call or text. If I go to my MIL they are fine with me and the girls. I do have one BIL that I am closer to because of the company and he is the one that would take the "I lost a brother, but gained a sister" seriously.
The latest thing to come out was that he didn't seem happy. That he would take the girls or go by himself and I wouldn't come. There are so many examples of me sleeping from working the night before to him telling me he is going somewhere else. Bottom line was he was happy with me and the girls, it was his family that he was not happy with. He kept us from them for many reasons. My SIL thought we would fight and then I wouldn't go. I told her that no matter what it wasn't about us, but the girls and I would not have sent them without going.
Before my dh death his oldest brother and one of his sisters weren't talking and I would say it was at least 6 months. Dh was very sad about this and mentioned many times about not wanting to go or taking the girls to see it unfold.
It has also been mentioned that why I "let him" go out. Like if I kept him home he wouldn't have died. Alot of things can be said about this because I was/am the one that never told him what he could or couldn't do. We were considerate of each other, but never had to check with each other before saying we would go somewhere. We really didn't fight much or enough to make it a big deal and never brought it out to get togethers.
I have many many more things that made him sad or unhappy as they thought he was, but I am comforted it knowing it wasn't me. The question is what do I tell them. I honestly don't think they would walk away, but really not concerned if they did. DH was a compulsive liar, nothing to the point of a problem, but not using a coupon or knowing he was going to go some place and when I called he just happened to show up.
The latest thing to come out was that he didn't seem happy. That he would take the girls or go by himself and I wouldn't come. There are so many examples of me sleeping from working the night before to him telling me he is going somewhere else. Bottom line was he was happy with me and the girls, it was his family that he was not happy with. He kept us from them for many reasons. My SIL thought we would fight and then I wouldn't go. I told her that no matter what it wasn't about us, but the girls and I would not have sent them without going.
Before my dh death his oldest brother and one of his sisters weren't talking and I would say it was at least 6 months. Dh was very sad about this and mentioned many times about not wanting to go or taking the girls to see it unfold.
It has also been mentioned that why I "let him" go out. Like if I kept him home he wouldn't have died. Alot of things can be said about this because I was/am the one that never told him what he could or couldn't do. We were considerate of each other, but never had to check with each other before saying we would go somewhere. We really didn't fight much or enough to make it a big deal and never brought it out to get togethers.
I have many many more things that made him sad or unhappy as they thought he was, but I am comforted it knowing it wasn't me. The question is what do I tell them. I honestly don't think they would walk away, but really not concerned if they did. DH was a compulsive liar, nothing to the point of a problem, but not using a coupon or knowing he was going to go some place and when I called he just happened to show up.