I hadn't heard about this until today when I saw mrsmelton's pic on her facebook.I thought it was her sons pic as it was a beautiful young boy who appeared to be about 15. I then heard about this on the news. SO ridiculously sad and so NOT self defense.
Thank you for searching and finding more info...that is why the picture is there.
I am going to say this and let the pieces fall where they may.
First Newsflash: I'm Black! I know...I know, you never even thought it. Who would? the little girl in my avatar picture is just the African baby we adopted to be more like a celebrity.
I listen to a lot around these parts and I know my place (because that is what any good Black person knows...we are taught very early in life to know our place in order to become anything and be anyone). I walk a thin line when something about race is mentioned on CW, I don't ever start the topic and I know that no matter what I say, if I happen to say anything in the world half way decent about President Obama, it will be overlooked because I am black and obviously Black people all just do the same thing and don't think about what is going on, we just all say we are Black and whatever Blacks say, we do (oh wait that's the democrats and republicans...but I digress)
Today, as the mother of a potential Trayvon Martin, the aunt of one, the wife of one, I can't stay in my place, so put me on your ignore list, call me names, send some PMs about me, and ignore any trade requests I post....I will survive.
I really don't know what it is like to be a black male in America, I have a son, I have a husband, I have a father (yep, I actually have one of those) I have uncles, nephews, and a brother. I hear them say things, I see things happen, but I don't know first hand. I do know that when my husband got pulled over in his company car because we were visiting friends in a nice little suburban area and we were followed to have the plates ran they figured the big black man must have stole the MINI-VAN (yeah because that is what you steal and put kids and a woman in the car to make it look like you really own it) that he was driving since it was registered to a company, that I had the chance to see a bit of the fear and the way my husband had to become a little boy a "yes sir, no sir, thank you for shining the light on my kids and having my wife pushed up against a van while I lay on the ground, and never telling me why" little boy (wow, that was a long run-on, but don't feel like trying to figure out the punctuation right now). I was so crazy and thinking that we had overcome the race issue that I had the nerve to be trying to call the police on the police when this whole thing started...that is how I had to get out the car...I don't know what I was doing since of course reaching for my cell phone is ground for death in many cases.
But see, I thought that we were adults over 30 years old in the family car, listening to sports radio, just finished singing some Yo Gabba Gabba with the toddler and things were fine, so different that when we were in college and had to take that drive from Indianapolis, In to Bloomington, In and when if you were black, you knew to have your girlfriend, cousin, someone with longer hair drive the car while you were in the back seat to make sure you weren't pulled over at night. Because you see, somehow I had convinced myself that that back then was because we were young, listening to hip hop, on the road at night. That that time we had everything thrown across the highway as our car was searched was because the music was too loud with the windows down on the highway where there were no houses. So obviously now that we are respectable adults, with 4 college degrees between us, tithing, marriage ministry leaders, volunteers in the community, we are safe now...
The thing is that sadly simply being a black person, especially a black male is sometimes enough to not be safe and this week I had to sit down with my son and explain this too him. I had to have a talk with him where I tell him no matter what he achieves and what he does in life, no matter who he becomes he will only be a **** to some people. That he has to have his hair neat and cleanly cut at work, while his coworker can have purple hair, because longer hair, any design, color, etc is threatening looking. That he has to realize where he is and he has to understand that sometimes it is about saving his life and if he wants to stay alive he has to think and think fast and never even think about complaining, reaching for a pack of gum, reaching to cut off the car, asking a question. When my DH teaches him about driving, part of his lesson is how to get out of a car when the police pull you over. Right in between the talk on how to adjust the rear view mirror and always wear your seatbelt has to be the talk on how to open a door with your hand completely visible and to never let your hand out of their sight.
So Ennui, it actually doesn't surprise me that there is no talk of Trayvon Martin here, because it is not like it is major news when a black kid dies and sadly as the mother of a black boy, almost a man I am so fearful for his life on many days. Do you know how often he is questioned and not the other kids (who happen to be Caucasian) when his is out during the day at various homeschooling activities? But I am not even scared of him visiting friends now who live in predominately white areas, or brown, red or black areas for that matter. But he has plenty of friends who live in gated little communities, because he really does think he lives in a color blind world, as does his friends. But what if my son was visiting his friend who he just spent the weekend with not to long ago, great family, great neighborhood, great kid...but let's say that my son and his friend walked to the store and my son loves iced tea, he loves candy...so on the way back to the house his friend has to go to the bathroom and my son wants some gum. He tells his friend to go ahead home and he will run back to the store and get the gum...it's just down the street.
And now this black boy is walking down the street and he is not even from this area and hey in many of those gated communities all the houses look the same so he is walking a little slow trying to remember where the house is, what turn to make and then he is on the phone with a friend and he notices a guy is watching him and might be following him. He tells his friend that he thinks he is being followed and his friend says to run. He is a boy (who is almost a man and therefore proud and stubborn to the core like all men) and he says he is not going to run, but he will just walk fast to get back to the house, he puts the hood of his sweatshirt over his head and walks faster. The guy he thought might be following him is definitely following him now because he is speeding up, so he runs...somehow in the next few moments he struggles with the guy and the phone hits the concrete and that is the last I know for sure because the call is dropped when the phone breaks. But then a neighbor hears the struggle and calls police and I get to hear my son's last words, I get to hear him scream "help" on a 911 tape and them I hear the shot, the shot that killed him because he looked suspicious and it was all self-defense because only someone guilty would run from a stranger who is chasing them and the only way that this 250 lb 28 year old man could defend himself against my 140lb teenage son was to shoot him. And to add insult to injoury the police even overlook the phonecalls and the pleading for talking more to them by one of their witnesses to explain that this was not self defense
This is my reality...this is the reality of my son and I actually found myself thanking God this week that I only have 1 son and the other 2 are girls because at least there is just 1 to worry about.