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Parents of difficult eaters

mrsred1 said:
This gets us all upset b/c then they whine and cry and yell and then we whine and cry and yell back :lol: and the whole house is a wreck after that. :gah:
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Repeat after me " I am the grown up and I am in charge"

They want you to whine and cry back at them, they are playing you and you are letting them. They can eat what you make or not. No special orders, no snacks, they can eat dinner.
 
I need to take all of this advice...

DS3 says every night that he's not hungry and doesn't like what is on his plate (even the junk). The only thing he consistently eats is applesauce. After reading this I'm thinking I should hold off...

I'm the worst eater so I know this is all my fault.
 
glammunky said:
Don't give in and don't make special meals for them!
I don't have picky eater and this is why!
They have always eaten what I make....you don't like it you don't eat!
Starvation is a STRONG motivator and eventually they will learn to eat what they are given.
It is a process though and it takes time....just be consistent and firm!
Ds was complaining about dinner once and I gave him 15 minutes to eat or he was done and he would see it for breakfast....needless to say....he ate it for breakfast and hated it worse cold. Only time I have ever had to do it and he still remembers today how it was worse the next day!
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I wished that worked for us. My ds who will be 5 in January is really picky. One night we had an awesome pork tenderloin for dinner. He refused to eat it --- I threatened him with the "you'll be eating it for breakfast if you don't eat it now" thing. He didn't eat anything for dinner and wouldn't eat it for breakfast either. I wouldn't give him anything except milk and served it again for lunch. He wouldn't eat it for lunch either and then I had to give in b/c he was going to school after lunch and I didn't want to send him without eating and real food since lunch the day before : (

He's REALLY headstrong .. sigh...

My other 3 are fairly good eaters, my ds is terrible. I hope he grows out of it when he's a little older.
 
I have found with mine that they eat better when they have a choice about what they eat. I don't short order, but I do make 2 veggies every night, they choose which one they want. I let them choose their drink, milk or water. They choose their dipping sauce, etc. When my kids mess around at the table, meal time is over. I will save their plate for later, though, because I feel bad making them go to bed hungry. My kids know if they want to eat later, they are getting their dinner and nothing else!
 
Lauri said:
Repeat after me " I am the grown up and I am in charge"

They want you to whine and cry back at them, they are playing you and you are letting them. They can eat what you make or not. No special orders, no snacks, they can eat dinner.
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Have to remember this for the next crying and screaming fit with DS 14 :hides:

It is so much easier for me to tell other people this than it is to do it.
 
I have a four year old, and I was/am a picky eater. Growing up my dad, the cook, would make me something special if I did not like the meal. I am not as picky as I was growing up. That being said, I would say my advice is different than other posted.

I try to put a small portion of all the food I plan on serving on my daughter's plate. If there is something she saw me prepare, but insists that she doesn't like it, I say "You get just this little bit." I don't make her eat it or even taste it, just have it on her plate. Then I make a point of eating it and commenting on the taste. She usually won't taste it until it is served a few times. I seem to remember reading that kids needs to be exposed to a new food many, many times before they enjoy eating it.

I am not a fan of the clean the plate club. I think it encourages kids to eat past the point of being full just to get dessert. I don't serve dessert often and offer fruit with the meal.

My daughter has gone through spurts of eating very, very little and then eating everything I serve her. I figure she will eat when she is hungry. I let her be the judge of when she is full.

As adults there are times we are not in the mood for certain foods. I believe this is true for kids too. Just try serving at least one food they will eat. If they eat only bananas for lunch, but eat other food through out the day or even the week they will be fine. I would rather deal with a daughter who only ate fruit and is full than a daughter who is hungry and cranky.
 
Growing up, there were very few things I truly disliked. 1 was my mothers pork chops. She would get a cast iron pan screaming hot, and throw that pork chop in there and cook it til it was about as tender as your shoe. they sucked! I was an adult before I realized there were better ways to cook.
My mother would make a horrible meal... she would make liver and onions, brussel sprouts and top it off with some black eyed peas. OMG. She found the brussel sprouts one day while cleaning out from under the kitchen table. I explained the dog will clean his **** and not eat these, they are not good for you!
 
I also do not like mushrooms, I like the flavor, it is the texture I can't handle.

My children, they are F-U-N!

Oldest (13) will eat chicken strips, patty, nuggets.
Youngest (12) not a chance will he eat chicken

Oldest will not eat a hamburger/cheeseburger to save his life.
Youngest would eat cheeseburgers everyday, no issure

Oldest will eat fries.
Youngest not a chance.

Oldest won't eat cheese
Youngest will, if its on a burger, only!

Oldest No vegetables
Youngest, no vegetables

Oldest will eat salami or ham on a sandwich
Youngest, only pbj, no meat

Oldest likes pork chops, if grilled no sauces,gravies ect
youngest no pork, at all

I serve many a plate of air/dust, suit yourself.
 
Yup I've been told that they need to eat something 40 times before they know if they like it or not.
:9: I can tell you if I like something after the first bite lol
It was veggie pasta, I get all five food groups on by lunch, and at least four in again by dinner.
 
I would have your ds eat maybe 5 or so bites of the main dish and not insist on eating "all" of it. I'm a real proponent of not pushing the whole "clean plate club" like we grew up! My kids are pretty good about what I cook, but if they don't like it they can make themselves a sandwich or a bowl of cereal. Obviously your kids aren't old enough to do that though! Good luck!
 
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:hides:

I am in the minority, I think kids are still people and everyone has SOMETHING they just inherently don't like (even if they've never tried it). I've never eaten a single pea in my entire life, but I know for a fact I don't like them. Not the look the smell nothing. Turns my stomach just to look at them.

If you are making something over and over and the kid refuses to eat it every time, it isn't necessarily just defiance, they could just genuinely not like it. I subscribe to the you must at least try it (or have a "good reason" why you won't try it - like me with peas) and eat a comparable substitute...i.e. kid A won't eat green beans...everyone else loves them...a little can of corn being made in addition to green beans isn't going to kill anyone in the long run. It beats creating "food issues" IMO.

I don't think "force feeding" is the way to go (for me).
 
Here were his requests for dinner
1) Cookies - no.
2) Pancakes - no.

I toss what he doesn't eat since it is usually such a small amount, but lately he won't eat anything I make for dinner unless it is store bought chicken nuggets or some kind of pasta.

Tonight he nibbled on the pasta, but wouldn't eat the beef/potatoes/tomatoes that were the rest of the meal. I tell him he doesn't get anything else to eat/drink for the rest of the night and he goes "OK".

He did tell me he was hungry and I offered him his plate and he said "No thanks".

Guess he wasn't *that* hungry.
 
Oh, wait, that's not what you were asking. When I made it the first time I actually cooked it overnight so I've taken it for lunch twice. I hadn't tried feeding it to Lex before tonight.
 
mrsmom said:
How do you know................they feed him his three meals a day. ;p
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I write a note to my kids parents about everything that their child did that day.

time of diapers and what was in them
foods offered and what they ate
activities we did
anything else parents need to know

I can write it but getting parents to read it is another story!
 
To me, this is nuts.

I go to the store, I let my son pick out things out of the 4 food groups --
breads, meats/cheese, milk, fruits and vegetables. None of my kids ever
liked fruits, so I bought fruit juices instead.

One of my sons didn't like tuna, so on the nights I made tuna noodle, he got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I would never consider punishing anyone for not liking a certain food. Did it ever occur to any of you that perhaps the reason they kept not eating a certain food is because their body could not break down that certain food or had an allergy to it? The body generally knows what it can use and cannot tolerate inherently.

I really had no idea all this went on in the world. I simply keep a variety of foods in the refrigerator that my kids ilke. If I cook something and they don't like it, they are free to rummage in the frig for something they do like.

Everybody has turned out just fine -- I cannot imagine adding more stress to family life by regimenting food. Life is too short.
 
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