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Picking up and dropping off...how do you do it?

fords8

fords8

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OK, DS has a BFF since kindergarten. His mother and I used to be bffs too. (although we have grown apart).

anyway....many times the son is available to come over...but ONLY if we can come get him. (not far, maybe 15 minutes round trip).

DH says he should only come if his parent brings him and picks him up. But since at one time we were good friends and when they were little it didn't bother me to pick him up...they kind of expect him to get picked up.

Then, there are more casual friends...like from our old neighborhood. HE can actually ride his bike over...but winter etc, it is usually a pick up/drop off situation. His mom works, I don't work (outside the home) so, DS asks again if I will pick him up.

Again, DH thinks if kids come to hang out HERE their parents should do the pick up/drop off.

What do you do? Do you ever pick up your kid's friend(s) to hang out at your house? or is it strictly they can come over and you will "host" but you are not a taxi?

what do you do?
 
If your kid wanted to hang out with a friend...would you ever expect (or want!) the other parent to pick up your kid?

or would you expect that your child is coming and going and you (or your SO) do the picking and dropping?
 
Barb my boys have a friend from our old neighborhood. Sometimes they do the driving, but more often than not, I go get him and bring him home. I have no problem with this..............what is your DH's deal?
 
I generally bring my dd to her friends house and pick her up. Unless they go out and they are coming this way they will bring her home. When her friends come over they get dropped off and they are either picked up or I drive them home. Now if she is invited out to a movie or going to the mall they will come pick her up and bring her home unless we are sharing the drop off and pick up. kwim?
 
I do both, but I also refer to myself as "DD14's chauffeur," sooooo.....

I frequently drive her friends home & their mom's frequently drive my DD home, too. If 2 of them are going to another one's house, I'll pick up the other one & vice versa. I really don't mind. What I DO mind is when there are 3+ kids at one location & ALL of the parents are there retrieving their own kid at the same time as everyone else. We all live within a 10-15 minute loop. I wish the kids would figure it out & save some of us a trip. If I drop DD off somewhere & pick her up & notice the girl down the street is being picked up by her dad at the same time, I get pissed. I'd rather he or I pick them both up. :p
 
If you watch their kid all day (often including snack/ lunch) then they do the driving. If they do the watching then you do the driving.
 
Honestly, if I could do it then I wouldn't mind picking up the child - I would rather my child be able to have a friend over than not. In terms of myself, I always take my child to and from a playdate. I am able to though. If I couldn't I am sure the other parents would help out.
 
mrsmom said:
Barb my boys have a friend from our old neighborhood. Sometimes they do the driving, but more often than not, I go get him and bring him home. I have no problem with this..............what is your DH's deal?
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Again, I think it is cultural. Plus, I don't think their kids really even GO to each other's houses anyway unless accompanied by a parent. And obviously, if they are accompanied by a parent the parent does the bringing and taking.

I actually expected most of you to say you agreed with dh and I was being a doormat giving the rides.

My parents took us and picked us up if we went to a friend's we couldn't walk to.

I would think it depends on how well you know the kid and family? A family friend that you know the parents too is different than a friend from school that you never met the parent?

I wouldn't expect someone I don't know to come pick up and drop off my kid. Although, since I am a SAHM it would be odd to me to sit and home and expect them to pick him up (unless they were going to a movie/mall or something.

Although, even then....dh would rather take our son to meet them at the mall than have a parent drive (we don't know the parents).
 
chattynatty said:
Honestly, if I could do it then I wouldn't mind picking up the child - I would rather my child be able to have a friend over than not. In terms of myself, I always take my child to and from a playdate. I am able to though. If I couldn't I am sure the other parents would help out.
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This I completely agree with. IF the only option for him to have someone come over is to pick the child up, I would rather do it than say "oh well, next time"

Especially (in my case) since I am home anyway.
 
mrsmom said:
If you watch their kid all day (often including snack/ lunch) then they do the driving. If they do the watching then you do the driving.
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This too. The friend that we are most often told "he can come, but only if you pick him up"

tends to stay the day....like until 6-7 pm.

Most times I don't mind getting him to come over (at 11 ish) but think someone should pick him up, I kept him all day!!
 
My DS16 has 2 friends who live 20-30 minutes away. I do not think their parents have EVER transported there kids here and only once has one of the mom's picked him up from us. I have started to complain some and it is becoming more and more irritating. This has been going on for a good 5 years.

It is what it is and I cant wait until all of these kids can drive :)
 
Barb09 said:
This too. The friend that we are most often told "he can come, but only if you pick him up"

tends to stay the day....like until 6-7 pm.

Most times I don't mind getting him to come over (at 11 ish) but think someone should pick him up, I kept him all day!!
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Exactly.

Some people just aren't considerate. However, I think that DS having a friend over far outweighs driving around a bit especially since it isn't a daily thing.
 
My DD14 has friends that live 30-45 minutes away, too, MrsMelton. Fortunately she doesn't go to their houses often, but she went last week. I think if she "got it," I would be more accommodating, but to spend and hour & a half in the car twice (there & back, there & back) is a lot!
 
:oldman: Back in my day, we either walked or rode our bikes, period there wasn't anybody's parents dropping off or picking up. If we didn't get there on our own, we didn't go.
 
CharlieQ said:
:oldman: Back in my day, we either walked or rode our bikes, period there wasn't anybody's parents dropping off or picking up. If we didn't get there on our own, we didn't go.
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I hear ya, but kids nowadays (I said it) don't always come from the same neighborhood or small town. My kids go to school on the opposite side of town from where we live so most of their friends are not close.
 
mrsmom said:
I hear ya, but kids nowadays (I said it) don't always come from the same neighborhood or small town. My kids go to school on the opposite side of town from where we live so most of their friends are not close.
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The school my boys go to have 3 towns attending it. It easily takes me 50 minutes round trip just to drop my son off at his bf house.
 
mickey134870 said:
The school my boys go to have 3 towns attending it. It easily takes me 50 minutes round trip just to drop my son off at his bf house.
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that is just crazy talk, I say he stays the weekend and then next weekend the boys are yours!
 
Barb09 said:
Again, I think it is cultural. Plus, I don't think their kids really even GO to each other's houses anyway unless accompanied by a parent. And obviously, if they are accompanied by a parent the parent does the bringing and taking.

I actually expected most of you to say you agreed with dh and I was being a doormat giving the rides.

My parents took us and picked us up if we went to a friend's we couldn't walk to.

I would think it depends on how well you know the kid and family? A family friend that you know the parents too is different than a friend from school that you never met the parent?

I wouldn't expect someone I don't know to come pick up and drop off my kid. Although, since I am a SAHM it would be odd to me to sit and home and expect them to pick him up (unless they were going to a movie/mall or something.

Although, even then....dh would rather take our son to meet them at the mall than have a parent drive (we don't know the parents).
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I want to be a ****y **** and agree with him because IN THIS INSTANCE he is right. That being said I do sometimes pick up dd friends to play because they are home alone and parents are at work. I am talking about the next subdivision though, 10 minutes tops. I had one of her friends want to be picked up and dropped off every time from 30 min each direction. I wil not be a doormat, she doesnt see that little girl very much anymore.
 
CharlieQ said:
:oldman: Back in my day, we either walked or rode our bikes, period there wasn't anybody's parents dropping off or picking up. If we didn't get there on our own, we didn't go.
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My son never went to the local school (still doesn't) so growing up his friends weren't close by. Even now his school is 20 minutes, most of the kids live 10-20 minutes further from the school and then they go out a lot after practice or a game (BTW, they won 1st place at the tournament this weekend! Go patriots!!!) and most of the kids who can drive are still on probationary licenses so I have at times went to pick him up and take him to the eating place and I might as well just stick around (in the car, running close errands) because I have to pick him up in an hour and the round trip drive is 50 minutes.

Did I mention I cant wait until he can drive himself!
 
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