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Matt Carr

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Aight boys and girls, time for a good ol' story thread. One sentence per post and you can choose to post an unfinished sentence, in which case the next poster will complete the sentence and then write their own. Your sentence has to acknowledge what has come before it and carry on the story.

I'll start -

Max Payne had considered cosmetic surgery in the past, but after seeing the advantages of having more than one facial expression, he decided to take action.
 
It was a brisk Sunday morning, he hopped onto his purple scooter and began his long and eventful journey.
 
The man gotta go eat before a long day of killing so he dropped by.....
 
Subway for a hefty feed. Max looked at the menu in search of a large steak and pulled his duel Uzis from his jacket in disgust at the healthy food.
 
"Healthy food is for 2 kinds of people... ****s and ****es!" he says as he lets off a round of 9mm bullets.
 
The one Subway employee that managed to drop to the floor behing the counter pops-up his head and politely says, "Do you collect your stamps?" as he hands him 3 subway stamps.
 
"Stamps my ****!" Max says with a smirk on his face, as he then shot the man with his uzi, and walked out of Subway with a lost appetite.
 
Max suddenly had an urge for a Piss so he went down to the Toilets in a dark alleyway and . . . . .
 
Took one long **** piss,it lasted for at least 5 or 6 minutes.He heard something coming thru the alley,he looked at it seemed to be girl scouts selling cookies.Remembering his times.....
 
as a girl scout (it's a long story), Max utilised the secret handshake with the girl and before long was off to the girl scouts headquarters, where he suspected organised crime taking place.
 
Upon arrival at the headquarters he witnessed a site he thought he would never see.
 
He saw a girl scout leader lady that was one fine peice of ****.
 
He said'..."Yo gurl,whats a fine looking women like you doing at a place like this".Than she replied...
 
"what the **** is some 40 year old man doing hanging around with a bunch Of little girls! PERVERT!!!!!"

*sprays max with pepper spray*
 
"AAAGHHH!!!! THE BURN!!!!" Yelled Max as staggered backwards out the Headquaters door. He tripped and fell on the pavement knocking him unconscious, until he a awoke to the sound of...
 
a garbage truck hurling him into it's trailer. In true Max Payne style, he said to no one in particular, "I awoke like a rat in heaven, surrounded by trash. Life was throwing me around like a hot potato at a birthday party, it was all for laughs, but soon someone would get burnt".
 
Max climbed out of the dumpster narrowly avoiding being compacted with all the trash and accidently tripped on a stray cord...
 
which was the cord to a cordless phone. "****ING CORDLESS PHONE CORD" He fumed as he picked pieces of glass out of his ****. Glancing to his left he saw a very...
 
disturbing sight, a cordless phone salesman. As Max got closer he realised things were far more serious than he had first thought,...
 
more and more innocent people were buying these damned phones!!! Would Max let this evil deed happen?? ;
 
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