The best gift I got was something intangible....bear with me the long post, but you need the backstory..........................and sorry for the rambling....
BACKSTORY: Three years ago when I was pregnant with my dd#2, our family was at church at the parish we belonged to. My DH and I were regular lectors at the 5pm mass on Saturday. This Saturday happened to be a day that my DH was reading the scriptures. So at the time, I was 8 months pregnant and was taking care of a 3 year old and a 16 month old. For those of you that have this age, you know how difficult this is. FOr those that don't or don't remember....kids are not the best behaved in church at this age. We would talk to them, correct them, or take them to the back if they got too loud. We never just let them run wild at church.
Typically the same people were always at this mass because we were all "regulars" and knew each other from seeing each other every week. The wife of a "regular"couple came up to me after mass when I was by myself with the kids, as my DH was busy putting away the Scriptures and other clean up duties. She proceeded to tell me that week after week my kids are always distruptive, loud, and interruptive. I was flabbergasted. I immediately apologized and said we don't like it either and we try to keep them quiet and before I can finish my DS sees his dad on the altar and makes a beeline for him. I called after him and then this lady turns around, sees my son made a beeline, and then rolled her eyes and walked away. SHe just left me there not being able to defend myself and feeling like a horrible failure as a mom. I just started to bawl! My DH comes up to me and asks what was wrong and I explained. From that day, I have always been hyper sensitive when I attend that mass and I see them there. We used to sit close to the front, because of being lectors and such, but after that, we both quit as lectors (not because of her, but because we figured it would not be fair to the other to control 3 kids while the other lectored). So we moved to the back so we would not be noticed by them. I always felt on edge whenever I went to that mass after that. We eventually joined another parish, again not because of her, but because we wanted our kids to attend a Catholic school, and our parish school had closed.
OK, flashforward to this Saturday. We go to the 5pm mass cause the time worked best for us and this couple wasn't there. After mass, 4 people came up to us and told us how beautiful our family is, how well behaved they were, congratulations on our new one, how they have missed us, etc. After the 4th person, I said to the lady, I just want to hug you. She said "go ahead". So I did and explained to her what a gift her comments were and explained to her what had happened over 3 years ago. She told me not to listen to that and this woman clearly doesn't remember what kids are like at that age.
The next day, I was at Jewel, and 2 ladies came up to me that were also at the same mass. They told me how beautiful my family was and how glad they were to see us. I was just left stunned as this series of comments was wonderful and was a gift of redemption to me. The skeptic in me was wondering “what is God preparing me for” as I was wondering if “the other shoe was gonna drop.” I know, I should just be thankful and relish in it, but as I said, I am a skeptic. Also, unfortunately, that woman’s comments really hurt and I have carried that baggage around for 3 years. I know I should have let it go, but I just couldn’t.
Well flash forward to Christmas Eve 4pm mass. As we are walking to the church from our car, it starts to snow. It was really magical and the kids were catching the snowflakes in their mouths. It was a really neat scene and feeling. Felt like a perfect movie scene. We got inside the church and it was crowded of course. I sent my DH to go up and look if there were any seats. As I was ready to flag him that we could go in the choir loft, he waves to me to come up as he found a place for all of us. I walk up to the seat he picked and it is the FRONT row. I see as I am about to sit down, that we are sitting in front of THAT COUPLE. I look at my DH and glare…..and he just had a look like “I am so sorry, I didn’t see them.” I could not believe of all the seats, he had to pick this one. I, of course, get in hyper panic mode of how are my kids gonna behave, what is she gonna say this time, etc. I could hardly relax and kept thinking, “how am I gonna shake their hands at “the sign of peace”?” My kids did pretty well and I kept complimenting them that they were doing well which helped to reinforce the behavior. I did have to go back once with my dd#2 because she was holding her mouth which made me think she might get sick. (flu had run through the house and the incense was extra fragrant haha). Anyway, she did not get sick thank goodness, but we stayed in the back for the readings.
Well, I had resolved that I would shake their hands and smile at them at “sign of peace” I knew I had to let go of the past. When it came time, I kissed my family and wished them peace and then turned around and smiled and wished them peace. After that was done, I looked at my DH and he had a stunned look on his face and I mouthed “what?” I leaned in to hear him and he said, “did you hear what she said to me?” I said “no, what?” He said that she said “You have a beautiful family, You should be so proud.” I got all choked up and started to cry. Three years of pain, anger, doubt, and helplessness.... gone in an instant. And that, was the best gift I received!