What would you do if your son/daughter told you they were gay/transgender?

[lauren]

For those who don't have kids, just pretend

Would you be angry? happy? sad? shocked?
Would you try and ignore it, stop it or leave it be?
Would you encourage it?
Would you be upset about how it'd affect your life?
Would you disown your child or fall out with them?


I personally would be really relieved that my child felt they could actually tell me something that many teens fear telling their parents. I mean, I'd give them a huge hug and be like aw I'm so glad you haven't hidden this from me because I'd want to be with them every step of the way through anything that happens in their lives. I'd probably be a bit shocked because it's not something you automatically expect, but I probably would have guessed beforehand and I'd probably adjust quickly.
The only thing that would upset me is that my child would then have to deal with ignorant people that didn't accept them, and that I may not have biological grandchildren. Other than that, as long as my children were happy and healthy they could be any orientation they wanted.

New question

What about if they wanted to change gender?

I would be really hesitant about it. It'd upset me because they'd be changing themselves into a different sex I mean, that's a big thing compared to simply an orientation. My daughter becoming my son or vice versa would upset me, being honest here. However, I would never disown them, fall out with them or stand in their way. I'd just be saddened that they couldn't have been born the gender they wanted to be.

 

[OrigamiGirl]

First of all, I'd be worried, because I know that they would have to face some discrimination. But I don't think being gay or transgender is a sin or anything like that, so I definitely wouldn't disown them or anything.
I'd be really worried if they were transgender, because that's extremely tough life. But I'd be supportive of them. However, I would expect them to be mature (i.e. not expecting me to give them insane amounts of money necessary for the surgery and so on) and also supportive of me, because that must be hard on parents as well.

 

[Tommy]

As a gay teenager who's had to go through the whole coming out experience, I'd try to support them in the way they'd like me to straight after they told me. I wouldn't care of course.

 

[altrouge]

I'll support them no matter what. Whatever the sexual orientation is, it doesn't change the fact that it's my child. As well as that, I have no problems with LGBTs so it's really none of my concern. I have gay and lesbian friends and it doesn't bother me, so why would I change when it happens to my child? If they want to get an operation as well, I will not have a problem with it. However I will only let this happen once they are an adult, and they can afford to pay for it. I'm not the kind of parent who prohibits their children from getting what they want just because it's different.

 

[Shonna]

Tell her that I'm just glad that she won't be coming home knocked up. lol


And also support her 100%.

As for changing gender, I'd be emotionally supportive, but as that's a major choice for her to make, I'd expect her to take a good long time to come up with the money herself for the surgery, as well as to think about the choice she's making.

Same goes for college though lol.
I'm not paying for college for her. She is going to have to think long and hard about what she wants to do because at the end of the day, it will be money out of HER pocket, not mine, but I will support whatever she chooses.

 

[Pato]

I've thought of my kids being gay before, and concluded that it'd go like this:

At first, I'd be very confused as to why they turned out that way.
After a while I'd get very angry with myself and feel like I was a failure as a father.
Eventually, I'd come to terms with it. As long as they're happy who gives a fuark. Well, as long as they're not the flamboyant, in your face type of gay that is. Those are just really annoying.

No idea about transgender as I don't know much about it. Possibly the same, but the way I see it is you are physically male or female, not mentally. Could be harder to come to terms with.