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Who here has felt the sting of...

lf5058 said:
I wouldn't consider it racist when people asking questions about my background and my home country.
However, I could differentiate those who asked out of curiosity or just to make conversations and those who asked out of stereotyping! I suspect one may have to be there to feel the sting!
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I couldn't agree more. It is all in the way it is said and the moment it is said in. My buddy has quit a few Mexicans that work for him. They call me the Polish Jew and I call them beaners.. It is all in fun and NONE of us take it in a bad way. I like them and they like me.
 
Let's not dismiss the feelings of the previous posters. What may seem like a non issue to some may be an issue to others.



M
 
I have. Spoke about it before. When I was a kid in VA, I was the only white girl in the class. There was a white boy too. Dealt with it there.

When I moved in with my ex and his mom in Jamaica Queens - only white person on the bus, only white person on the block. Mostly looks, cat calls etc. But one time I remember vividly was on the bus when this old old guy basically started with names for me and all the younger people joined in with him. Then it stepped up to throwing things at me etc. I never told my ex, because there would have been a real problem and would have ended up very badly for all involved and I wanted no part of it. And I'm the type of NY'er that makes no eye contact, wears earphones and doesn't hit into anyone. So I know I didn't do a thing to provoke it except being what I was told "Milk", "whitey", "Cracker", "Paste", "white ****" etc. Most verbal insults came from black women that had seen me and my ex on the block together. The block we lived on was a cul-de-sac of new homes and people around it were living in either projects or rundown houses. So I guess there was jealousy too.
 
First day of 6th grade....I am riding the bus to middle school....and I am the only white person on the bus....No one would let me sit down....they would take up the whole seat or say NO, you ain't sittin here.... (just like Forrest Gump) the bus driver did nothing....

it was truly horrible....I had to stand up the whole way..while they stared at me and called me honkey or cracker.....

I did this for about a week and then told my mom.....then she started taking me to school....
 
I think there are just idiots out there. Not racist, but idiots. My mom has always been morbidly obeese. We constantly heard comments as kids about how fat our mom was. I took after my dad's side that is all really skinny. People keep telling me to quit smoking but I lost 30lbs when I started smoking (again, after kids). I tell people I'd rather die of lung cancer than die being fat. I also would never want my kids to have to go through the torment I did because of how my mom looked. I have nothing against fat people other than being made fun of by family memebers because I wasn't fat. I don't care what people look like, just how they are.

My bff is from Wales. I LOVE it when we're together and peope ask where she is from. She tells them "Indiana" because it was the first state she lived in while in the states. I've asked her questions over the last 7 years and she knows it's just because I'm currious. She asks me questions about being American as a kid (she's had 3 boys while living here).

I also hate people that are anti-gay and use the bible to defend it.
 
My bff's husband is from Pakistan.He acts like an American & rarely spoke of his country. They went for a 3 month visit for the 1st time 5 years ago.I ask all sorts of questions-Do they have stores etc. I wasn't being rude.I just didn't know & she didn't know much about the area either. Theu have actual malls-McDonald's etc. I don't think there's anything wrong in being curious.

I grew up in a small southern town. There are no black people there(even now).We had 1 Mexican family-He moved there because he was a dr. He was the only dr. in our area. His dd was homecoming queen & they were well treated. I never saw anyone ever say or do anything racist to them.

People from the south are often treated as though they're stupid because of their accent. People can be racist to anyone.They don't have to be from another country to have racism affect them.

My experience with black people has been great.When i was in Schawb Rehab in Chicago-I was 1 of the few white people there.I have never been treated nicer & taken care of.The men & women there were wonderful to me & i'll always be grateful for their kindness.
 
psh0615 said:
People from the south are often treated as though they're stupid because of their accent. People can be racist to anyone.They don't have to be from another country to have racism affect them.
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I will say that some of the nicest people I have ever met were from Huntsville, Alabama. My sister had an internship there so I helped drive her there in her car. The whole way when people asked us where we were headed, we got the look of sheer terror. When we got there it was raining non-stop and very hard. We couldn't immediately find our bearings. I noticed a sign for a visitors station. I told my sister follow the signs directions. When we got there, there was only 15 minutes before closing but they ushered us in, told us to stay away from the windows, gave us paper towels to dry off, allowed my sister to use their fax machine and phone to make arrangements for a hotel. They had us stay until there was a break in the weather (well after closing). I couldn't tell them thank you enough. The day before I had to take a flight back home we went back to the visitor's station and I got to see it during regular open hours.

There also happened to be a news reporter there taking his own pictures of the station. He saw us thanking the employees and took notes of our story. I never knew if he ever wrote about it but I gave the place a glowing review.



M
 
Tazznum1 said:
I have. Spoke about it before. When I was a kid in VA, I was the only white girl in the class. There was a white boy too. Dealt with it there.

When I moved in with my ex and his mom in Jamaica Queens - only white person on the bus, only white person on the block. Mostly looks, cat calls etc. But one time I remember vividly was on the bus when this old old guy basically started with names for me and all the younger people joined in with him. Then it stepped up to throwing things at me etc. I never told my ex, because there would have been a real problem and would have ended up very badly for all involved and I wanted no part of it. And I'm the type of NY'er that makes no eye contact, wears earphones and doesn't hit into anyone. So I know I didn't do a thing to provoke it except being what I was told "Milk", "whitey", "Cracker", "Paste", "white ****" etc. Most verbal insults came from black women that had seen me and my ex on the block together. The block we lived on was a cul-de-sac of new homes and people around it were living in either projects or rundown houses. So I guess there was jealousy too.
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I had a Chinese Indian BF in college, but he looks more Indian than Chinese, we got a lot of stares and there were older Chinese women who pulled me aside and asked "why are you dating an Indian guy?" I was rather shocked consider inter-racial relationships/marriages are rather common in Malaysia.
 
Barb09 said:
LOL, when people ask dh where he is from it depends on his mood.

Sometimes he says "chicago" and other times it could be any country in the world.

"Oooooh, where are you from???"
"Sweden"
"Oooooooooh"

or he picks any Arab country.

I never understand why he doesn't just answer them. I think he feels that it doesn't matter where he is from (to a stranger at the gas station, lol)
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I do the same. Sometime I just said: what do you think? :lol:
 
my SIL doesn't like me because I'm white. She told DH that by marrying me he was "playing white" - whatever the hell that means? It used to really bother me, but now I don't give it much thought. If she wants to be ignorant then so be it. She also told DH that I think I'm better than everyone because I'm white. My response to that: I'm not better than everyone else, just her. :lol:
 
Mikerocosms said:
Let's not dismiss the feelings of the previous posters. What may seem like a non issue to some may be an issue to others.



M
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What is your deal today??? YOU have no problem dismissing other people's feelings quite often.

And I don't think anyone was trying to dismiss anyone's feelings. I read some maybe trying to make the thread not so serious and I myself stated that what I consider to be one thing is different from what other's may consider it to be. I see that as stating an opinion and nothing more.

And why do I feel like I have suddenly entered a kindergarten classroom??? Rule # 1- nobody speak unless you have the same opinion as others! (SARCASM)
 
mommy2912 said:
What is your deal today??? YOU have no problem dismissing other people's feelings quite often.

And I don't think anyone was trying to dismiss anyone's feelings. I read some maybe trying to make the thread not so serious and I myself stated that what I consider to be one thing is different from what other's may consider it to be. I see that as stating an opinion and nothing more.

And why do I feel like I have suddenly entered a kindergarten classroom??? Rule # 1- nobody speak unless you have the same opinion as others! (SARCASM)
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As I tried to put across in the OP. This can be a very personal subject. At least in this thread lets not put down anyone's feelings if they feel like they have been "stung". I've read every one of these posts and I feel sad for everyone who has been through this. I know how it feels. Everyone in my immediate family has their stories, none of which are pretty or very lighthearted. When it happens to you it makes you feel like less of a person and it never leaves you. So I take it very serious.


M
 
Barb09 said:
I don't like references to CW OT as kindergarten classroom. We have CERTAINLY never held anyone to drinking the koolaid.

That is more insulting to the board than M, dont you think?
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I was referring to Mike's previous comment.....sounded like something a teacher would chatise the class for......no harm ment Barb

Though if that koolaid has a bit of a twist I may ask for some (says the non drinker :) :surrender:
 
Mikerocosms said:
As I tried to put across in the OP. This can be a very personal subject. At least in this thread lets not put down anyone's feelings if they feel like they have been "stung". I've read every one of these posts and I feel sad for everyone who has been through this. I know how it feels. Everyone in my immediate family has their stories, none of which are pretty or very lighthearted. When it happens to you it makes you feel like less of a person and it never leaves you. So I take it very serious.


M
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As can a very personal subject for many that you felt the need to make many feel like **** about-remember the subject of how you believe sexual abusers be handled??? And I stuck up for your opinion in that thread and took it as just that even though I have some very personal feelings on that subject myself....But I guess when the subject hits home for you it is different, right Mike???

And if you go back and look at my comment I never said anything about how one should feel or that thier feelings should be dismissed-I merely stated what I, personally, have always considered something to be.
 
I'm a little concerned about the posters who get tired of people trying to guess their background...I'm a really curious person, and if I meet someone with an accent or I can guess they've lived outside the US, I'd like to learn more about them. I can understand the frustration of being asked over and over "where are you from." However, I would feel really badly if someone if someone responded sarcastically or made up an answer...I'm just naturally curious. I want to learn about other people. I want to learn about the world.
A couple of weeks ago my DS and I took a short flight to Minneapolis/St Paul, and I sat between two guys. They were willing to chat with me, and I learned about their lives. One man was from Lebanon but is now a US citizen living the Washington DC area. He was wonderful in letting me ask all kinds of questions about Lebanon and the Middle East. I learned so much and enjoyed that flight A LOT. He enjoyed our conversation also. I'm sure he's asked a lot what his background is. I'm grateful he was so gracious...seeing that it was a teachable moment.
Americans DO need to expand their horizons and have a better understanding of other cultures...when I lived in Texas, I knew people who were not interested in even visiting nearby states. Why see the rest of the country? Texas is the whole world to them.
I would just implore some of the posters to remain patient with ignorant Americans...some of them really want to learn about you.
 
When I graduated from HS a friend of mine that I was on the track team with (a very smart black guy...same age as me and a year ahead in school) asked me out. We started hanging out. My parents and grandparents promptly forbid me to date him. They were concerned I'd get pregnant (huh...we had hardly even kissed)...and that his people and my people would never accept us as a couple (essentially we wouldn't "belong" anywhere). I was sooooo mad at my parents....
Anyways...this guy asked me to come along to a cotillion (black "coming out" party...very fancy...they dance the minuet...a debutante thing) that he was participating in. I was honored...until, he asked me if I would consider getting a tan before coming... Hey, getting a tan will not camouflage the fact that I am a WHITE GIRL. I was kind of disappointed in him...but I guess he felt the pressure of the standards his friends might hold him to...hoping I wouldn't "stand out in a crowd." Oh well...he was such a nice guy...
 
This happened only a few weeks ago. I had to renew our registration for our rv and the currency exchange is closed by us so I went to the one in Waukegan. I walked in with my dd and everyone there was hispanic. They started talking in spanish, I handed her the registration and she looks at it and says what do you need? I told her I need the registration sticker, she looks at it again and says something in spanish to the other people and then looks at me and says I don't have any. I said you don't have ANY? She said not for you, we are all out and refused to sell it to me. When my dd and I walked out, my dd looked at me and said "Is that what a racist is?" she is only 12. We both felt the sting that day.
 
mommy2912 said:
As can a very personal subject for many that you felt the need to make many feel like **** about-remember the subject of how you believe sexual abusers be handled??? And I stuck up for your opinion in that thread and took it as just that even though I have some very personal feelings on that subject myself....But I guess when the subject hits home for you it is different, right Mike???
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That thread didn't have anything mentioning no flaming whatsoever and for people to be on their best behavior. Now if I or anyone else for that matter would have opened up a thread debating the issues of racism, by all means debate it. I simply asked that this thread be simply about stories.

I will not be going back to your last comment or any other comments from you on this thread unless you share a story of your own. I'm done arguing my point. Feel free to continue your rantings or ravings about me, I can take it.



M
 
sprintc22 said:
This happened only a few weeks ago. I had to renew our registration for our rv and the currency exchange is closed by us so I went to the one in Waukegan. I walked in with my dd and everyone there was hispanic. They started talking in spanish, I handed her the registration and she looks at it and says what do you need? I told her I need the registration sticker, she looks at it again and says something in spanish to the other people and then looks at me and says I don't have any. I said you don't have ANY? She said not for you, we are all out and refused to sell it to me. When my dd and I walked out, my dd looked at me and said "Is that what a racist is?" she is only 12. We both felt the sting that day.
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That is terrible. I actually go through the language barrier fairly often. Like I mentioned before I learned what I know from a book. I'm not super fluent with it and I do get talked to very fast sometimes and that makes it all the harder to understand. Sometimes I just have to stop the person and say (in English) "Say again". Usually people get the hint and talk to me in English but I do get the stare of disapproval.



M
 
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