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Have you ever refused a gift? why?

When I was working at Aldi one of my old guy cust gave me a valentines card with 50 $2 dollar bills in it it said Roses are Red Violets are blue I want to FU!!! I had to return it and said I could get fired for taking gifts from custs. Like that was the only reason!!!!! He was crushed told me to come down to his restaurant with the hubby for drinks and dinner instead. And when I was in HS a guy gave me a black hills gold and diamond ring I could not accept it because I had no interest in him.

As for family giving us money don't really care for it. But stopping someone from GIVING is hard to do EXCEPT when you know they are doing it because they feel they should like for birthdays and holidays when I KNOW they can not afford it. Then I just don't cash the check or find a way to give it back to them.
And I am one of those people who DO NOT like to keep tabs on favors if I can help I do and do not expect a return favor. I hate it when someone says I owe ya one...
 
jooey2 said:
When I was working at Aldi one of my old guy cust gave me a valentines card with 50 $2 dollar bills in it it said Roses are Red Violets are blue I want to FU!!! I had to return it and said I could get fired for taking gifts from custs. Like that was the only reason!!!!! He was crushed told me to come down to his restaurant with the hubby for drinks and dinner instead. And when I was in HS a guy gave me a black hills gold and diamond ring I could not accept it because I had no interest in him.

As for family giving us money don't really care for it. But stopping someone from GIVING is hard to do EXCEPT when you know they are doing it because they feel they should like for birthdays and holidays when I KNOW they can not afford it. Then I just don't cash the check or find a way to give it back to them.
And I am one of those people who DO NOT like to keep tabs on favors if I can help I do and do not expect a return favor. I hate it when someone says I owe ya one...
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WTF?! The doode thought you were a ****? I hope you airmailed that money straight up his ****! :hurt:
 
mrsmom said:
Well there ya go. You're truly blessed. ;)
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exactly!

So then you kinda know why I would have a second thought about using her money to celebrate our anniversary... she admitted she doesn't (or didn't) believe in us.
 
KG said:
How did they react when you told them no? I feel the same way you do about videographers!
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The same way she reacts anytime she doesn't like what she's hearing...she ignored what we said and continued trying to convince us that we really actually wanted a videographer. She can be very passive aggressive when she doesn't "get her way." She just hounds people until they give in...usually it goes something like this:

Her: Wouldn't it be nice to have a videographer at your wedding?
Me: No. We're not interested.
Her: Oh, but it would be so nice.
Me: No, we don't want one.
Her: Well, I talked to "dad" and we'd love to pay for the videographer at your wedding.
Me: Well, thank you, but we don't want a videographer at our wedding.
Her: (wistfully) Oh, but wouldn't it be nice to have a videographer at your wedding?

This type of conversation usually continues until the other party gives up and she gets her way. It took several conversations before she finally accepted that I wasn't backing down on this one.

We had a somewhat similar conversation about where our receiving line would be held. That one ended with her saying, "But what about the guests who don't come to the ceremony? What will they think if there's no receiving line at the reception?" I politely said, "They'll think they should have come to the wedding, instead of just the party afterwards." She was a little dumbstruck that someone her child's age would argue with her and refuse to back down. This one came up before the videographer thing.

But, I digress. I can definitely understand why you're hesitant to use the $$ from you mother to celebrate your anniversary. But, you could always look at it as a way of saying, "Ha, ha! Look how wrong you were!"
 
mrsmom said:
WTF?! The doode thought you were a ****? I hope you airmailed that money straight up his ****! :hurt:
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I did not make a scene just returned it to him the next time he was in. I think he knew I was offended, he was just a typical rich dirty old man. But we did enjoy drinks and salsa at his restaurant. Can't remember the name of it I think it was on the corner of Lewis and Grand.
 
KG said:
exactly!

So then you kinda know why I would have a second thought about using her money to celebrate our anniversary... she admitted she doesn't (or didn't) believe in us.
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Another option would be to donate the money to charity, and ask the charity to send a note to the giver that $x amount of money has been donated in his/her name. Then you're not refusing the gift, but you're also sending a clear message that you don't need the money for yourselves.
 
MommyBeth04 said:
She was a little dumbstruck that someone her child's age would argue with her and refuse to back down. This one came up before the videographer thing.
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Oooh, I totally understand that. Like they're surprised you stood up to them. Good for you, I hope she doesn't get pushy like that, often.

holamelitta said:
Another option would be to donate the money to charity, and ask the charity to send a note to the giver that $x amount of money has been donated in his/her name. Then you're not refusing the gift, but you're also sending a clear message that you don't need the money for yourselves.
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This did occur to me, thank you for suggesting. It's a good idea.
 
MommyBeth04 said:
I can definitely understand why you're hesitant to use the $$ from you mother to celebrate your anniversary. But, you could always look at it as a way of saying, "Ha, ha! Look how wrong you were!"
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Thanks. I probably will suck it up, put her remark in the past and work on being nice, for the sake of the upcoming weddings.

I still might tell her we spent the $$ on marriage counseling :giggles:
 
Barb09 said:
Tell her you used it to buy the Kama Sutra book and some leather straps and REALLY owe her big time.......and that DH will never be able to thank her enough.
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We have a winner! :lol:

(unless it backfires and she starts inquiring about babies/more babies...)
 
Barb09 said:
Tell her you used it to buy the Kama Sutra book and some leather straps and REALLY owe her big time.......and that DH will never be able to thank her enough.
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I vote for this one as well.......

And on a side note-Barb I think that is one of the dirtiest things I've "heard" you say.....Georgie would be so proud! :lol:
 
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