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Post one of your Jokes!

How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
You open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge

How do you put a monkey in?
you open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the monkey in, close the fridge

how the elephant gets out of the water?
wet.
 
How do you get 4 elephants into a mini cooper?
2 in the front, 2 in the back

Why did the elephant take toilet roll to the party?
Because he was a party pooper

How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
Footprint in the butter

How do you know is there's 2 elephants in your fridge?
You can hear them giggle when the lights go out

How do you know if there is 3 elephants in your fridge?
You can't quite get the door shut

How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
Err... I thought the mini cooper parked out front would be a bit of a give away


Whats round green and sounds like a balloon?
An apple... ok I lied about the balloon bit


What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Gang rape


How do you upset a plumber?
Kill his family
 
no.

Worse than finding a worm in your apple is FINDING HALF A WORM IN IT.
 
no, worse than finding a worm in your apple?

atomic bombs dropped everywhere
 
Swish... Makes a thread... Something happens... RESULT!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Waking up next to Justin Beiber


What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
All the jokes that we have made springing from the previous line

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side

Why did the bubblegum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chickens foot

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
The chicken hadn't been invented yet

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud and cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double crosser
 
why do blondes are on their knees in the supermarket?
they are looking for the low prices

why doesn't carlos castro like to walk on the roller coaster?
because he doesnt have the balls
(if you dont understand the joke , see this)
 
I like a good long cuddle with my girlfriend after sex.

It's the quickest way to deflate her.
 
Potato said:
I like a good long cuddle with my girlfriend after sex.

It's the quickest way to deflate her.
Click to expand...

If you don't mind the hissing noise you can always just pull the rubber plug out to deflate her! :friendly_wink:
 
Make fun of Kanye and Kim's name choice for North West if you want, but that baby is going straight to the top.. And slightly to the left.
 
I was telling my mate about how the government plant surveillance devices in street equipment.

"That's absolutely ridiculous," replied a lamppost.
 
You better watch out,
And hide in a hole.
I'll reach down your throat and swallow your soul.
Voldemort is coming to town!

I'm making a list,
Of people I hate.
When Dumbledore died I thought it was great.
Voldemort is coming to town!

I'll sneak in when you're sleeping,
And draw on your face.
And if you say my name out loud,
I'll steal your birthday cake! Oh!
 
My doctor encouraged me to masturbate more often.

Well, he actually told me I could have a stroke any time.
 
why did the chicken crossed the street?

to get to the other side.

LOL.
 
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