Thanks for the update! It sounds like you guys have a lot to work through but you are being strong and standing up for yourself and that is always a great thing.
How did the weekend go? When I first got divorced weekends were the hardest.
Several years ago my cousin came home from school (she was a teacher - retired now) to a letter written by her husband. In it her husband said how unhappy and unsatisfied he had been with her and their marriage and that he had left. It also went on to say how boring their life was, etc., and I suspect what my aunt told me only scratched the surface of the critical comments he made. Apparently he had moved in with a girlfriend (that he had been presumably "dating"). My aunt and uncle consulted their family lawyer and called their SIL. They basically threatened him with ruin - financial because they had 2 children and he would have to pay for child support and reputation because he was and still is a principal at a high school. He returned home and they have been together ever since. My personal opinion is that I wouldn't have wanted him back. I don't know if my cousin knows that her parents threatened him or if she thinks he came back of his own volition. In any case I can't imagine staying married to this creep after all the stuff he said. Of course, I only know what my aunt told me - I can't really know what was said between my cousin and her husband. Nevertheless, my aunt and uncle believe their intervention was very successful and are happy they are back together. As Dr. Phil says, "It's better to be happy alone than sick with someone else."
Absolutely agree. Never ever is anyone to blame for someone else's addictions. It sounds like your hubby is trying to man up and own his issues, youi need a counselor that will help that along and help heal your relationship.
Find a new counselor! No one is responsible for another person's happiness. If you don't feel it within yourself no one can manufacture it for you. On the other hand I can see that his behavior is not only destructive but also making you unhappy. It sounds to me like the counselor is saying that because you're not keeping your DH happy he's looking elsewhere. I disagree.
