Why do you get more attention when you're in a relationship?

[hannah]

I'm sure we've all noticed or felt this one time or another where you get more attention from the opposite sex (or same sex if you're gay) when you're in a relationship than when you're single. However, I don't think this is a funny, yet annoying coincidence thing. I think people convey different subconscious behaviour when they're in a relationship which makes them more attractive. For example, when you're in a relationship in a club environment, your behaviour depicts someone who is at ease with themselves, can have fun without the attention of others and your distance from the opposite sex (or same sex if you're gay ) makes you more mysterious. The mystery of who you are and your independent like behaviour, makes you more attractive to the sex you're after; you become more appealing. Whereas, the openness you have to the sex you're after when you're single, makes you look like just another singleton at the bar or club, therefore, not as interesting/appealing anymore.
I believe this behavioural phenomenon plays a part in people who cheat. Most people who cheat are either subconsciously or consciously aware that they're not that interested in their partner. This distance from their partner makes them express the same behaviour of a single and taken person, opening them up to more advances and temptations. They have a mixture of the openness and willingness of a single person, as well as the mystery and relaxed nature (they're comforted by the idea that they have someone to go back too) of a person in a relationship . I know there's probably a lot more to that, but I think subconscious behaviour plays a huge part in it.

Tell me what you think. Do you feel that it is down to a distinct behaviour change? Or is it just a strange coincidence/happening?

 

[Devin]

Don't people in relationships give off different pheromones and this attracts others? This is what I've heard, correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Regulus]

I haven't actually noticed this, but I wouldn't actually know. It's not like I hang around in bars, or anything.

Having said that, it does seem a bit backwards to me. I've always imagined that couples would get less attention than singles, just because couples are already (presumably) satisfied with their relationship and (presumably) not open to new experiences.

But, if anything, I think it's this:

I think people convey different subconscious behaviour when they're in a relationship which makes them more attractive. For example, when you're in a relationship in a club environment, your behaviour depicts someone who is at ease with themselves, can have fun without the attention of others and your distance from the opposite sex (or same sex if you're gay ) makes you more mysterious. The mystery of who you are and your independent like behaviour, makes you more attractive to the sex you're after; you become more appealing. Whereas, the openness you have to the sex you're after when you're single, makes you look like just another singleton at the bar or club, therefore, not as interesting/appealing anymore.

It makes sense, at least initially. The way we judge people initially is based almost entirely on body language and appearance, and certainly, being in a relationship can easily change that. Even on a subconscious level, a person in a relationship is far more likely to be comfortable with themselves around the opposite sex.

Of course, it could be pheromones as well, but that's much trickier to show evidence of.

 

[Nilla]

Getting more attention while in a relationship? This has never happened to me. I mean in Middle School when I had a boyfriend in 6th grade I got a lot of "Are you two really dating?" and "I thought you liked him..", but that was all just drama and gossip. My bf and I don't really get attention attracted to us being together because not much people know about it, nor do the people who know really care. lol

 

[Danny]

Kind of. From my own experience people get more attention in clubs when they aren't trying too hard, and well, if you're in a relationship you're not exactly going to try.

 

[Han]

I think it's linked to both behaviour and as Devin said, pheromones.
Three friends who I've known in the past, one who I've had a history with, are aware I'm now in a relationship and seem to be just recently showing interest - I say showing, two are blatantly obvious - no charm or anything about it, just literally stating it. :shifty:
However, two I haven't seen for well, one's over a year in person, the other is a good few months - maybe January? The other I haven't seen for about a month, and he is aware of my feelings towards the situation, and has been even when I was out of a relationship. He just seems to be trying harder now. o.o

Sometimes I wish I could almost read people's thought-processes and stuff just to figure out why a person is doing something.

 

[Alan D]

You get more attention when you're in a relationship because it adds a certain level of security which affects your personality. Someone who is already actively dating somebody is less likely to feel pressure around other potential candidates compared to another person who is single and may be suffering from anxiety/desperation as a result. Your social interactions become outcome independent; with no end goal in mind, you enjoy a conversation for what it is instead of trying to find out about someone like you might if you found them attractive. This particular kind of aloofness is why confidence is attractive and many people end up giving arrogance a lot of attention.

 

[lauren]

More people tend to take notice of me when they realise I'm in a relationship, especially with an older man. I don't really know why though.

 

[Kirk]

Because I'm hot.

 

[hannah]

Because I'm hot.

That made me laugh :lol:

Don't people in relationships give off different pheromones and this attracts others? This is what I've heard, correct me if I'm wrong.

I've never heard of that :: but could be possible!

Kind of. From my own experience people get more attention in clubs when they aren't trying too hard, and well, if you're in a relationship you're not exactly going to try.

I agree.

You get more attention when you're in a relationship because it adds a certain level of security which affects your personality. Someone who is already actively dating somebody is less likely to feel pressure around other potential candidates compared to another person who is single and may be suffering from anxiety/desperation as a result. Your social interactions become outcome independent; with no end goal in mind, you enjoy a conversation for what it is instead of trying to find out about someone like you might if you found them attractive. This particular kind of aloofness is why confidence is attractive and many people end up giving arrogance a lot of attention.

This makes a lot of sense! I agree!
_______
I think we're all guilty of being interested in people who are taken. We all want what we can't have, right?!

 

[Sarah]

I didn't realise people got more attention when in a relationship, maybe because some people are jealous or something, I don't know. I personally don't care about people in relationships they are still their own person so shouldn't get less ore more attention.