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so what are you thinking right now?

Cripes missy he sounds bipolar! Is IL not a 50/50 state? If there's money in a joint account, take it out (or at least some).
 
mrsmom said:
Whatchu arguing about? Y'all are together now...........life is good!
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I think it is partially anticipation of him moving home officially March 1.

And we are in the middle of a deep clean so his PO can come check out our home.

And he is ****ing about the amount of hours I work in a week and I should go and get a second part time job during the day.

I got a call TODAY from a job I wanted a year ago. I set up an interview and I am really torn about this...its a second shift job M-F and it pays pretty well. I will never see my family! The pay looks good but I cant imagine not being around my boys. Pat is encouraging me to jump all over it. All he sees are dollar signs and forget me being happy. Yes, the money would be great...I make minimum wage right now...this job would be like $12 an hour.

I want to be romanced a little. Just because he is home not doesnt mean that he doesn't have to try. In bed last night he started grabbing my boob and I asked if that was his move. He said I have to have a move? Once in a while, YEAH!

Blah.
 
Missy, he's spiraling because he isn't getting what he wants, which is you being complacent & allowing him to do whatever the hell he pleases. He's just "trying everything" to get things back into HIS control. Calling you a million times isn't working. Telling you what you've been wanting to hear isn't working. Going to your church isn't working. Calling "his" friends...well soon enough he will realize that isn't working either. Apparently HE is the only one who thinks things should be differently- most people can get their friends to go along with what they are doing, know what I mean?

I think he really could be very dangerous. Please try not to falter while you're on this difficult path, you're doing the right thing for you & your son. Stay strong!

IL is a 50/50 state. Let him retain counsel. He's going to anyway, who cares when he does it. You've been married for 14 years, you're going to end up with at least half. It seems like he has a fit whenever something doesn't go the way he thinks it should go. Well, too bad, so sad for him. You can't pull the **** he's pulled for the last several months & think everything is going to be the same or that you'll come out on top or unscathed. He needs a reality check. His future lawyer will probably blow smoke up his ****, but one things for sure, IL law is pretty clear & even a lawyer will tell him so.
 
I'm really tired, tossed and turned till well after 2:30, don't particularly feel like working and there isn't much going on here. Where is everyone?
 
MISSY! Go to the bank and take HALF. TODAY. Let him **** and moan...but if he wipes you out chances are you won't see a dime of it. If you rely on his income for credit, get yourself a credit card TODAY (apply online) in your name for emergencies. You need to have access to emergency funds. :huggy:
 
I texted with Missy and without violating her privacy, she's doing the right things today.

IME people who act crazy in real life also act crazy in front of the judge. I think she will be ok. Missy you will be better off once he gets a lawyer, they will do everything they can to get him to behave.
 
Holy crap. I can't believe people have to go through **** like this. :huggy: I'm so sorry.

It sounds very similar to DH's bipolar dad when they were divorcing. He represented himself and did appeal after appeal to stretch it out as long as he could. He went absolutely crazy and scared everyone on multiple times. I HATED his dad when we first started dating b/c he was still just as irrational and unpredictable, and this was years after the fact. He's better now, although I still don't trust him and I don't like him.

Anyways, I'm glad you checked in, and that you're able to share the details here and get support and advice, it seems like a lot of people here know what they're talking about.
 
My sister has a simliar situation. Her Husband is a state trooper and has hurt her in the past. He refuses to leave and threats her life and me & my family. Few days ago she told him she was going to see a lawyler to file for divorce and thats when he said if she does hes going to kill us all. He continues to say she has a boyfriend on the side which she doesnt from what I know. She works 50 hours a week goes to school 3 nights a week and volunteers at a soup kitchen sat or sun's. Dont think she has time for a boytoy. They have 3 teenage girls who have just recently seen his true colors. I have told her from the beginning he was a pycho control freak. the reasoning for her not going to the police is that he would be fired and her kids would not have the insurance benefits. I guess he's is better and she just got backe to working 7 months ago after not working for 10yrs. He is the main income he makes like 3times the amount. So im sure shes scared confused and stays out of the house so she doesnt have to see him. He works from home he leaves only to teach and checks everyones breathalyzers then he's home doing reports. But he has addiction issues to video games thats all he does when he is home doesn't sleep sometimes. Anyway im babling on. Just wanted you to know your not alone Missy.
 
mrspris that sucks so bad for your sister. :pout: I understand she wants the insurance, but it won't do them any good if they're all dead.
 
mrspris2u2 said:
I know thats what i tell her But i think shes taking the first step and filing for divorce
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I would tell the police first because once she files, he might fly off the handle...............he has a gun and knows how to use it which would scare the HELL out of me. If he knows that his actions have been reported then maybe he'll watch his behavior.
 
I mean i have bi-polar depression, panic disorder, & OCD with meds and counsling I do well. You try to understand the disease and try to work with it the best you can. When i first meet her husband I saw alot of me in him but a man version. He would anger quickly and go from yelling hes going to hurt everyone to im sorry i really do love you why do u make me do this. One time his familywas over for a birthday party and they had it out side he told my sister to tell everyonehe was working and stood in his room with the door locked until they all left. another time he did the same and a cousin when up stairs he ran and hid on the top bunk bed so he could avoid being seen. He's really messed up i could go on and on. The scarest thing he has done was picked my sister up by her throat thank God the kids were there and stop him. So please keep her in your prayers her name is Bertha
 
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