Missy, he's spiraling because he isn't getting what he wants, which is you being complacent & allowing him to do whatever the hell he pleases. He's just "trying everything" to get things back into HIS control. Calling you a million times isn't working. Telling you what you've been wanting to hear isn't working. Going to your church isn't working. Calling "his" friends...well soon enough he will realize that isn't working either. Apparently HE is the only one who thinks things should be differently- most people can get their friends to go along with what they are doing, know what I mean?
I think he really could be very dangerous. Please try not to falter while you're on this difficult path, you're doing the right thing for you & your son. Stay strong!
IL is a 50/50 state. Let him retain counsel. He's going to anyway, who cares when he does it. You've been married for 14 years, you're going to end up with at least half. It seems like he has a fit whenever something doesn't go the way he thinks it should go. Well, too bad, so sad for him. You can't pull the **** he's pulled for the last several months & think everything is going to be the same or that you'll come out on top or unscathed. He needs a reality check. His future lawyer will probably blow smoke up his ****, but one things for sure, IL law is pretty clear & even a lawyer will tell him so.