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CW is awfully quiet.....

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luckygirl0100 said:
So is this my fault yet? LOL!
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LMAO!!!

icoupon2 said:
I'm really annoyed. After the whole **** thing started the other night in the Target printable thread I emailed Barb and told her I wanted to make sure she knew it was a joke and I was just kidding. I also said she didn't seem like herself lately and was everything OK with her. But God forbid she admit to that. Hell no....let everyone think I'm the **** instead of the one who OFFERED to get the coupon that had her in such a tizzy and actually ASKED her if she was OK. I mean call me crazy but when she starts calling members a **** twice in one post its a pretty clear indication that somethings awry with her.

Whatever Barb, keep pretending I'm a horrible person. Pretend I haven't spent hours on the phone with you when you needed someone. That's fine. Have at it.
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mrsred1 said:
You know what Peggy! :lol: I have no clue who's joking any more (aside from the **** :snicker:)

This is the problem wit the onlibe world there is no tone so you can never be sure you have taken something the right way it was intended


:lol:
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JRL19 said:
After "taking integrity seriously" with regards to implied accusations of deleting posts (all of which has been redacted sans quotes), then going on to delete an entire thread, it's probably best that she resigns as moderator. I hoped it was all a joke, but it doesn't appear so, but I don't care--I hope whatever caused this gets better and that we can get back to our regular couponing...also, maybe the "thanks" function was a bad idea--it seems to create grief over dumb ****.

I blame EC.
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Should we blame EC for the whole thread????

mrsmom said:
Aw ****!!! You guys are still going at it?! I can NOT waste another day! :tmi:

I didn't even shower yesterday for cripes sake!!! :surrender:

OMG I showered at 4:30 in the afternoon right before I had to leave

Can someone sum up yesterday for Fiya? kthxbye
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**** went down

icoupon2 said:
I'm happy to sing Kumbaya, just as soon as Barb admits she's not being 100 percent honest. This could have been repaired before it became a huge drama, and I TRIED to make it so, and I THOUGHT when I got her PM that she was going to try to lighten up that it was done. Then SHE posted her resignation and set us off to the races.

No, it's better to make it look like I was on a witch hunt and strung her up at the stakes and asked everyone to pass me some matches.

Now I am supposed to sit her and be chastised about why we didn't handle this privately, and why we can't just all get along and why I'm being mean to her when I thought we'd resolved it. But resolving in private apparently isn't as much fun as all this :drama:

I have the PM, I have the email. I don't need her to admit **** in order to carry on with my life, but now MY integrity is on the line. And I'm being portrayed as the villan when I tried to make it good (and I thought we had). I didn't start the fire...
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Well if you have the PM and the email feel free to share it and show the truth.



Ok so onto my opinion
There are 2 sides to the story and the truth is in the middle.
I have no idea who is right and wrong in this.
I could see Barbs explanation over the pm's as being possible and IF her story is true I think with all the **** that went down about the pms with the pop it is possible that icoupon2 could have been defensive due to all the **** that went down over the gift card deal.
However Icoupon2 brings facts and says she has emails and pms to prove it.
so if I am going to judge that clears it up real quick when i see that information.

I still stand by the thought there is **** going on in Barbs real life and she is using this board to try and regain her voice that she lost IRL. When i came here i read threads of barb tearing people apart and ripping them a new one and feeling great about it. And no she is not the only one and I am only pointing this out because she saying she is a victim here and I read the Target thread. her demeanor is way different and she is a lost dog with a tail between her legs right now.

As i said earlier in this thread if you can dish it out then you should be able to take it when it comes your way. and that goes for all on here.
 
eiramnoaj said:
What exactly does that have to do with this thread? :snicker:
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Because I spent the whole **** day sitting on my **** reading this drama. What can I say, I can't resist rubber-necking sometimes. :surrender:
 
Chain of events:

Barb responds to my post (in the Target thread) telling her again that I was kidding with the joke about spoon feeding by first posting a reply that she could see now how it was a joke (she's deleted that evidence not me)

11:21 PM she follow that up with by sending me a PM that says she doesn't enjoy it here and she'll try harder to lighten up (complete with emoticons). I assume all is well.

11:27 PM, following her instructions not to PM her I respond via email, telling her again it was a joke, expressing concern about her and reiterating my offer to get the coupon. I give her the heads up that she wouldn't like the response I gave in the thread as I was typing as she was PMing me and that I am also tired and weary (of all of it).

11:32 PM response is contradicting her PM by declaring her resignation.

8:40 (ish) AM I get a text message which says (Downy unstopables)Thats the coupon i need thanks

I reply: K just walked into work give me 15 mins & ill send it

She replies: I am out of the house I need it tonight. Take your timel. And good morning

I don't have my camera at work, so I can't take a picture of a text (at this moment) I guess you will have to trust me on that part for now. The PM and the email are attached in PDF format for your inspection. I've eradicated both of our email addresses.

Decide for yourselves if I am some malicious trouble maker out for Barb's blood.
 

Attachments

  • I Tried To Make Amends.pdf
    54.9 KB · Views: 74
Joy I haven't read anyone saying you're being a malicious troublemaker. :9: Of course, I could've missed it.
 
mrsmom said:
Joy I haven't read anyone saying you're being a malicious troublemaker. :9: Of course, I could've missed it.
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It's not a direct quote sweetie it's a summation of all the your being mean, how can you do this to Barb, let's ban her, blah blah blah all rolled into one. Since this is predominantly between me and Barb who do you think they are talking about being so "mean" and "vicious" and whatever else it was.

I'm the liar, I'm the one who didn't work this out privately (that was posted yesterday) etc. Clearly there is more to this than what the other party is claiming.
 
Unless I missed something, Bob was the only one who actually suggested banning anyone. Since when does anybody pay attention to him? Seriously.
 
skincarekathy said:
No forum collective would want its members to think their PMs were being read and I dunno, laughed at by the mods. In any case, no matter, Diane has already said she can't read PMs and by extension neither can the other moderators.

What gets people thinking other people can read their PMs is that most people just truly don't have a grasp of the interconnected relationships and the nature of how FAST gossip travels. Not just here, it happens on all forums. MUM is right, nothing you say on the internet is private. But the spreading of your "personal" information most, if not all, of the time is not from sinister mods reading your stuff, it's from the person you told telling someone else. This is aaaallllll just a big game of Telephone. Everywhere there are people who just can't WAIT to be done talking to you so they can tell someone else that personal thing you just shared.
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It has been said that moderators can click on something that tells WHO you are PMing with (not sure about title). So after that was said some time ago I think a lot of people have thought twice about PMing. Yes, gossip does actually spread, but when called out on a PM that you are sending it makes you wonder and it leads down the rabbit hole.
 
Seems like maybe some things were said in haste, and as we all know, it is impossible to unring a bell.

I am appreciative of all that Barb & Joy contribute here- from deals to humor to educational help to "quirky" DH/Mistah stories to the support I've received from both during my new adventure in parenting. Deals should really be at the bottom of my list because that's about the last thing I have time for lately. I have been the recipient of RAOK's from both of you- coupons from Barb & IEP help from Joy.

This is a real shame.

If you two were my kids, I'd put you in the giant "time out t-shirt" I'm planning to make or make you stand outside holding hands with a sign that says, "Our mom is making us stand out here holding hands until 100 cars honk at us." If that didn't work, I'd likely threaten to beat your asses & send you to bed because WORDS MEAN THINGS and if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Turn the other cheek. Shrug it off. And all of that other good stuff.

But you're not my kids, so all I can do is hope you kiss & make up. Surely you've kissed and made up with other people throughout your lives that was far more difficult. If you can't kiss, then at least agree to disagree or agree to move on or agree to put this to bed. It's been nearly 3 days. Ain't nobody got time for that ****! Life is short.

I don't want to see either of you go, or even post less, and I'm sure I speak for many who think this is way out of hand now. So, in the spirit of the season and in the spirit of friendship (which we all know can be ROUGH at times) can't we all apologize for saying things that hurt others and move forward?

:huggy:
 
mrs.melton08 said:
It has been said that moderators can click on something that tells WHO you are PMing with (not sure about title). So after that was said some time ago I think a lot of people have thought twice about PMing. Yes, gossip does actually spread, but when called out on a PM that you are sending it makes you wonder and it leads down the rabbit hole.
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We can all see if someone is Private Messaging in User Statistics since they turned stalking back on. Doesn't take much to add two and two if one is looking at the right times. It is very easy to clear this up. Someone politely PM one of our moderators and ask them to run a test. Someone begin composing a PM, then the moderator can check to see if there is more info available to mod eyes than just "Private Messaging."

PS to everyone (since you are all here) - There is a beautiful opportunity to use our powers for good in this thread here, and almost everyone is missing it.
 
skincarekathy said:
We can all see if someone is Private Messaging in User Statistics since they turned stalking back on. Doesn't take much to add two and two if one is looking at the right times. It is very easy to clear this up. Someone politely PM one of our moderators and ask them to run a test. Someone begin composing a PM, then the moderator can check to see if there is more info available to mod eyes than just "Private Messaging."

PS to everyone (since you are all here) - There is a beautiful opportunity to use our powers for good in this thread here, and almost everyone is missing it.
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No she said she can see WHO you are PMing. I remember it when it happened because it bothered a few here.
 
I knew what you were saying MrsM, I'm saying there's an easy way to test it. There is more than one moderator here.
 
skincarekathy said:
I knew what you were saying MrsM, I'm saying there's an easy way to test it. There is more than one moderator here.
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Thanks, either way it is no biggie. The board does not belong to any of us, it belongs to Tazz and then further it is on the internet. A Hard delete does not even delete anything because we know the internet is forever. Your PMs are not Private, neither are your emails, texts or anything else, your best bet is to say it to someone standing in front of you naked in an open magnetic field that will scramble any electronic information if you dont want a record of it and then pray because the technology to get past that was developed the day before you did it. Like I said the PM thing wasnt the beginning or the end of this, it will end though and it will be a thread that is laughed it hopefully one day.

P.S. I support Dragonfly's idea of a timeout and glitter jar for everyone (so making one this weekend, got a bottle of smart water to use for it already).
 
Well I guess I will fill in the holes in Kathy's "research". Since we are run on vBulletin, I guess we can trust their info no?

PMs can be read by anyone with database and/or admincp access; and that we are up front and honest about it.
If you post anything using technology someone can later retrieve it; that's just the nature of tech.

https://www.vbulletin.com/forum/sho...by-moderators?highlight=read+private+messages

Q. So what I'd like to know is, can the admin read those notifications/PMs?

A. Any admin will almost certainly have access to the forum database, and if he does, then yes he can read your PMs. That's not to say he DOES but he COULD.

https://www.vbulletin.com/forum/sho...vate-Messages?highlight=read+private+messages

You don't have to take MY word for anything. GO TO THE SOURCE! The actual software that we use. It's all over there...plenty to see and read that using vBulletin does allow PMs to be read.
 
Isn't there a difference between an admin and a mod?
I thought Tazzy was the only admin.
 
According to their forums most mods have the ability. In certain versions it is a standard modification. I've given the links people can go root out what they want from it. The fact of the matter is that it is in fact possible.
 
Valerie said:
Possible and Definite are two very different things.
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Did I say definite? I said possible. And I definitely know what I said in my PM that was repeated to me verbatim. It wasn't a nice round number like the example I gave when I talked about it. I'm not going to argue about it. I know what I know.
 
From what I read today and who I talked to today, on this version of the software, only a crack/hack will do it. Maybe you should volunteer to moderate this catbox so you can let us all know for sure.

I don't believe there is anything that can be done here that will satisfy either party. People under extreme stress do and say things that can't be fixed. Millions of divorced people prove it. This is a textbook example of negative intimacy playing out.

lastwordlastwordlastword INFINITY!

:lol:
 
Meh....whatevs. I extended the olive branch 2 days ago and thought it had been resolved. Someone else turned the wood into kindling and set it on fire. You are lecturing the wrong person. I've provided my proof. Someone else deleted their actions.
 
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