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UPDATED TITLE - Teen Sneaks - Mean Mom busts her!

Re: Such a failure as a mom

13 year olds are a tough bunch! I don't think you're a failure, I think most kids aged 12-15 a freaking idiots who don't think past the immediate moment they are in. They don't grasp the consequences of their actions, because they are freaking idiots. ;)

My DD17 did something as bad, imo, but without the longlasting effects of pictures that you can never get back- she snuck out of our house with a friend & over to a boys house where who-knows-what happened. Of course we found out, because as I said above, most of them are freaking idiots. I'm not a failure or a bad mom, and neither are you. At least you care! If you were a bad mom you wouldn't care.

My thought has always been to punish them severely & swiftly when they do something that has the potential to escalate into worse behavior. So, I would be over-the-top harsh. I would 1) donate her iPod to someone, 2) ground her **** indefinitely, because that's a GREAT way to wrap up summer vacation & now you have a lawn service because she will surely be bored ;), 3) make her write a paper on the dangers of online sexual acts and take away her phone/computer/tv privileges.

You're not a bad mom. You simply have a kid who did a stoopid thing.
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

Maybe give her a couple articles about girls whose naked pictures got forwarded all around school.... And what happened next... Embarrassment, suspension, legal ramifications of having other underage naked photos in your possession, etc. Not to mention that the guys on the Internet may be old farts... Make sure she's not taking it to the next step of meeting any if them.

Good Luck! And you sound like a good Mom to me. It scares me that my children ate going to know more about technology than me!
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

I like the idea of a paper - that is a GREAT idea dragonfly.
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

I am sorry! You are not a bad mom, not at all~

If you want her to do a paper, have her research what happens here if you are under 18 and sexting. Both the sender and the person who received it go to jail.
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

Your not a failure, we give our children our trust until they do something to lose it and your daughter just lost it. It is hard to raise children and kept an eye on everything they are doing with all the technology out there. Just remember she will not be a teenager forever. Good Luck
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

Barb09 said:
I am assuming her ipodtouch and anything more sophisticated than a pair of tin cans and a string have been confiscated??
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:lol: love it. Can't wait to hear what the punishment is. :snicker:
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

poof just like that the wireless in my house would be gone and the ipod would be mine

I would also track somehow who she sent that to--and contact them as well.
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

I would remind her that there are plenty of kids who could see her pic...it could be put online where sex offenders can access it which puts her and your family at risk...and if she wants to get into college it might affect her entry even though she thinks they won't look at it in the future...or even if she wants to get a job in a couple of yrs. say w/a work permit it could really reflect on her...so it's NOT just that you are worried about her but how much this could really affect her life down the road if it gets put online. MAYBE it might make her think twice about doing it again...I'm so sorry. Hang in there!
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

There is a site www.picschecker.com that made software you can put on your kids phone and any picture they take gets emailed to you. They can't turn it off their phone without the password you set up. There is also a feature that records the texts the kids send and also get emailed? Or maybe you log into your account to see them. Either way, an awesome thing to keep tabs on our kids!!!

I'm really sorry about your daughter. Kids make poor choices sometimes regardless of their upbringing.
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

jwage said:
There is a site www.picschecker.com that made software you can put on your kids phone and any picture they take gets emailed to you. They can't turn it off their phone without the password you set up. There is also a feature that records the texts the kids send and also get emailed? Or maybe you log into your account to see them. Either way, an awesome thing to keep tabs on our kids!!!

I'm really sorry about your daughter. Kids make poor choices sometimes regardless of their upbringing.
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Genius!!! :hiphip:
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

I am just sitting here trying to think of the "positives" and maybe you can look at this as an opportunity to have a sit down conversation with your DD and explain your cares/concerns and why this will never happen again? IDK, I know they say teenagers don't listen, talk, etc. and I am too far removed from that age and don't have any myself yet, but I know if my mom would have sat down with me and had a discussion like that with me it would have had an impact.
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

jwage said:
There is a site www.picschecker.com that made software you can put on your kids phone and any picture they take gets emailed to you
Click to expand...

Looks like a cool thing but this makes it rather irrelevant for this situation and mine too. :(
What phones is PicsChecker available for?

PicsChecker is currently available for most handsets that use Google's Android operation system version 2.1 update 1 and above. At this time it is not available for iPhone or Blackberry.
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Re: Such a failure as a mom

:huggy: You're not a bad mom.
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

Diane, you are not a failure as a mom.
A more appropriate title for this thread should be "iPod Touch for sale-CHEAP".
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

((hugs)) We just had to drop our son off at his bio dads (possibly for good) yesterday. I am so feeling the failure as a mom bug. But I just had a good friend bring me out of that and remind me that I am the best mother my DS could ever have.

Let me pass that on to you. You are a great mother, you are not a failure. We can't control our children's choices, but we can raise them up in the way they should go and when they are old, they will not depart from what we have taught them. (unfortunately it is that "when they get old" that takes forever). Keep up the good work, mom!
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

CharlieQ said:
Diane, you are not a failure as a mom.
A more appropriate title for this thread should be "iPod Touch for sale-CHEAP".
Click to expand...

:roll:
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

mrs.melton08 said:
((hugs)) We just had to drop our son off at his bio dads (possibly for good) yesterday. I am so feeling the failure as a mom bug. But I just had a good friend bring me out of that and remind me that I am the best mother my DS could ever have.
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Wow Mrsmelton that must be tough. I will pray for your family. :grouphug:
 
Re: Such a failure as a mom

mrs.melton08 said:
((hugs)) We just had to drop our son off at his bio dads (possibly for good) yesterday. I am so feeling the failure as a mom bug. But I just had a good friend bring me out of that and remind me that I am the best mother my DS could ever have.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry he's been acting up. It must be so hard to have to send him away. :pout: I hope things get better with him.
 
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