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So what are you thinking now? New thread!

mrsmom said:
I'm feeling really low.................how can a mother not like her own child sometimes? I love him, but **** I do not like him half of the time. :pout: How can he be so different from his younger brother? I feel like I failed him somehow. :surrender:

:cry1:
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Because he's not a child anymore. He is a teenager!
 
Lauri said:
Because he's not a child anymore. He is a teenager!
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Well it certainly has gotten worse, but he's brought me to tears for years now. He's horrible about EVERYTHING. He's nasty and defiant to me, his Dad his brother..............well he's down right mean to his brother. EVERYTHING is an argument. We can't even make it home after school without a screaming match in the car. As soon as he gets in the car he starts ****ing at me about everything. My other poor son is like "guys, guys...........not again". :pout:

He's been grounded from everything with a plug or battery for forever now. Doesn't faze him. I tell him to do something as simple as take the dog out or get his lunch box out of the car for me and he looks at me and says no. I get in his face and say "YES". He says I don't want to and walks away. If I pursue it, it becomes a nasty fight. I've tried smacking him and he looks at me and says "that didn't hurt". :faint: WTF?!!! :gah:

I seriously don't know WTF is wrong with him. :surrender: He's not like this ALL the time, but it does go in really long streaks. He's very respectful in school so I have to believe he can control when and to whom he acts like this to.

Everything from getting him to take a shower, cutting his nails, what he wears (he insists on wearing short sleeved shirts on bitter cold days because he knows it pisses me off and refuses to put on a long sleeved shirt), how long he takes a **** (he'll sit on the toilet for over an hour even though I keep screaming at him to get out), oh and trying to get his **** out of bed EVERY ****ING MORNING is a joke...........I could go on and on...............seriously EVERYTHING is a fight!!! :pms:
 
He's currently pissed off at me because I won't make him a snack. After school he's had a fruit snack pouch and several Cuties. I told him to wait until dinner or make himself a snack. I told him to make himself a cheese quesadilla. He said "Can't you?! You're always on the stupid computer, can't you do anything for me?!!!" I asked him to get something from the basement fridge for me that I need for dinner. He said "No, if you're not making me a quesadilla then get it yourself!" :faint:

Every GD morning I put breakfast in front of him and pack his lunch...............he has never once packed his own lunch. "Why can't I do anything for him?"??!!!!!!!!!!! I do his laundry and put it away.............."Why can't I do anything for him?"?!!! I just now lost it (while he was ****ing at me because there was no more Cheetos) and screamed "SHUT UP, I AM SO SICK OF YOU!!!" to which he went back down to the basement to do his homework and slammed the door behind him.

I swear to God, I'm going to take out a second mortgage and send his **** to a military academy. :ranting:

Reporter do you have any tips? :surrender:
 
Lauri said:
I'm here Ernie...usually try to stay in bed until 4:15

then I had to put in a laod of laundry and start coffee maker...but I'm here now :)
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I did notice there were 5 of us when I logged off at 4:30 ish. :) Thanks for keeping me company :cartwheel:
 
Mrsmom I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Some of his behavior is typical teenage boy stuff. We went through a lot of that and I can finally say things are on the road to "better". Those hormones are just as nasty for boys as they are for girls. Just seems like no one ever warns parents about that.

I wish I had some good advice about how to handle the disrespect he is demonstrating but honestly nothing worked for us either, except the passing of time. While I know it's hard to not yell, I just encourage you to be the "bigger" person and keep your cool, calmly state your request or reasoning and then don't allow it to escalate into a fight. If you have no response to his shouting, he's likely to stop shouting.

Hugs to you and keep venting here because I know it helps.
 
Thanks Val...........I know the yelling is futile, but **** I get so pissed off sometimes.

I've let him see me cry and have asked him why he can't be nice to me (when he was about 9 or 10............yeah he's been like this for a long time). I was hoping he would have a reaction to it............nada.
 
my oldest was/is downright nasty to me--his mouth is vile

anyway..I have learned to ignore it or now that he is old enough I say " I dont want to hear that clean it up or go downstairs--upstairs etc..."

but ummmm stop doing everything for him--he expects you to

if he wears a short sleeve shirt--oh well he will be cold--he is not going to get pneumonia from not wearing a long sleeve shirt..
 
mrsmom, it sounds like life with your son is pretty miserable right now. Sorry. How old is he?

I have a DD16 who is really easy to get along with, but DD11 can be a real pita. She is getting better in the past year or so, but I cannot imagine how I am going to deal with her defiance and piss poor attitude when she is a teenager. Val's posts about non-sleeping babies reminded me of her. When she was an infant, I was lucky if I could get two 15 minute naps out of her a day. She was whiney and miserable most of the time, and to top it off she didn't sleep well at night either. "This too shall pass" was my mantra for a long time. She still resists sleep and is NEVER tired.
 
When DS was in younger teen and his mouth would run I would just stop talking to him. (probably 75 percent of the time) He always seemed to want to talk/argue and go round and round and round. It got old...he was winning :surrender:

I (DH too) would leave him notes and lists of what to do, what was expected. With it in writting there is no tone of voice, eye rolling, that kind of crap. It's in black and white and "NOT OPEN FOR DISCUSSION".

You are the adult and you are in charge...don't forget it. Or let him forget it either.
 
I thought you were talking about my DS14. He gets on my nerves almost every single day and he's getting better. He's been twice to therapy and it is helping. Also, he prepares his own breakfast during the week and if he wants his phone for the week he has to do his laundry, clean one bathroom and vacuum the rug during the weekend. As soon as he gets home from school I take his phone away and give it to him the next morning. We blocked facebook, OOVOO, and some other websites so he can do his homework with no distractions. Also,when I'm relax and not angry at him I remind him how much I love him and that all I do it is because I want the best for him not for me.
:hug:

mrsmom said:
Well it certainly has gotten worse, but he's brought me to tears for years now. He's horrible about EVERYTHING. He's nasty and defiant to me, his Dad his brother..............well he's down right mean to his brother. EVERYTHING is an argument. We can't even make it home after school without a screaming match in the car. As soon as he gets in the car he starts ****ing at me about everything. My other poor son is like "guys, guys...........not again". :pout:

He's been grounded from everything with a plug or battery for forever now. Doesn't faze him. I tell him to do something as simple as take the dog out or get his lunch box out of the car for me and he looks at me and says no. I get in his face and say "YES". He says I don't want to and walks away. If I pursue it, it becomes a nasty fight. I've tried smacking him and he looks at me and says "that didn't hurt". :faint: WTF?!!! :gah:

I seriously don't know WTF is wrong with him. :surrender: He's not like this ALL the time, but it does go in really long streaks. He's very respectful in school so I have to believe he can control when and to whom he acts like this to.

Everything from getting him to take a shower, cutting his nails, what he wears (he insists on wearing short sleeved shirts on bitter cold days because he knows it pisses me off and refuses to put on a long sleeved shirt), how long he takes a **** (he'll sit on the toilet for over an hour even though I keep screaming at him to get out), oh and trying to get his **** out of bed EVERY ****ING MORNING is a joke...........I could go on and on...............seriously EVERYTHING is a fight!!! :pms:
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mrsmom said:
He's currently pissed off at me because I won't make him a snack. After school he's had a fruit snack pouch and several Cuties. I told him to wait until dinner or make himself a snack. I told him to make himself a cheese quesadilla. He said "Can't you?! You're always on the stupid computer, can't you do anything for me?!!!" I asked him to get something from the basement fridge for me that I need for dinner. He said "No, if you're not making me a quesadilla then get it yourself!" :faint:

Every GD morning I put breakfast in front of him and pack his lunch...............he has never once packed his own lunch. "Why can't I do anything for him?"??!!!!!!!!!!! I do his laundry and put it away.............."Why can't I do anything for him?"?!!! I just now lost it (while he was ****ing at me because there was no more Cheetos) and screamed "SHUT UP, I AM SO SICK OF YOU!!!" to which he went back down to the basement to do his homework and slammed the door behind him.

I swear to God, I'm going to take out a second mortgage and send his **** to a military academy. :ranting:

Reporter do you have any tips? :surrender:
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I expect to get covered in **** for suggesting this, but this non-parent wonders why not just stop doing his laundry, stop making his breakfast, stop making his lunch, etc?

He's old enough to do those things for himself & worse, he's treating you with disrespect.

If he runs out of clean clothes, tough ****, he can wear the same thing over & over until he learns to do his own laundry. Same for his meals. Let him fend for himself and maybe when he gets tired of eating PB&J for meal after meal he'll grow up a bit. He won't starve & he won't freeze to death in dirty short-sleeve shirts in the meantime.


:huggy:
 
Thanks so much ladies...............it's nice to know my son isn't the only kid to behave like this.

Lauri I think I'll try the note thing..........I'm so **** tired of the fighting.
 
It worked wonders for us.

Less words the better. And feel free to use "it is not open for discussion" Just point to the note when he tries to argue.

Be sure to be positive when you can but shut it down if disrespectful.

DS once lost his bedroom door, and everything in his room except blanket, 1 crappy pillow, and matress on the floor. Took a few nights but he learned we mean business
 
ennui said:
I expect to get covered in **** for suggesting this, but this non-parent wonders why not just stop doing his laundry, stop making his breakfast, stop making his lunch, etc?

He's old enough to do those things for himself & worse, he's treating you with disrespect.

If he runs out of clean clothes, tough ****, he can wear the same thing over & over until he learns to do his own laundry. Same for his meals. Let him fend for himself and maybe when he gets tired of eating PB&J for meal after meal he'll grow up a bit. He won't starve & he won't freeze to death in dirty short-sleeve shirts in the meantime.


:huggy:
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No covering of **** ennui. What you said makes perfect sense and I "know" that, but being a mom I've always wanted to do for them.

Sigh.
 
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