What's new
By:

So what are you thinking now? New thread!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lauri
  • Start date Start date
mrsmom said:
I'm feeling really low.................how can a mother not like her own child sometimes? I love him, but **** I do not like him half of the time. :pout: How can he be so different from his younger brother? I feel like I failed him somehow. :surrender:

:cry1:
Click to expand...

mrsmom,
hugs to you. I have been where you are now. Even as teenagers kids go through stages. Disrespect is unacceptable but part of motherhood. It's hard but your realtionship will get to a good place again. My dh always said that my son acted that way towards me because I was his "safe zone" all my sons frustrations were taken out on me.He knew I would love him reagrdless of his actions. Try not to get angry (easier said than done). Try to take advantage of the moments when your son is willing to talk. Even if it's 5 minutes a day, just make sure he does most of the talking and you do listening. You may find that things are bothering him and if he can talk about it then he doesn't have to yell around it.
 
So happy for my good friend who just had her first baby too! A little sad that I didn't get a phone call but my guess is she sent a text and I ONLY have prepay cell so she doesn't know my cell #...still I am so happy for her and hope she is doing well as her dad died a month ago!
 
mrsmom does he act this way to your husband? My oldest son is sometimes a pain in the **** too, although he is getting better, he is 14. Anyways, he is much more mouthy to me than his dad. So I was just curious.
 
lovetocoupon said:
mrsmom does he act this way to your husband? My oldest son is sometimes a pain in the **** too, although he is getting better, he is 14. Anyways, he is much more mouthy to me than his dad. So I was just curious.
Click to expand...

Up until about 1 1/2 years ago, he was just as bad................DH would be in his face screaming at him and the little **** would STILL talk back. :faint:

DH would walk away saying "Unbelievable!"

Lately DS is better with his Dad but still talks back under his breath and always makes excuses...............nothing is ever his fault, etc.

I told DH about this afternoon and we all had it out............DH gets pissed when he hears about DS disrespecting me. Right now, they're sitting at the table having dinner together and chatting..............crazy.
 
MrsMom, we have had two major episodes like the one you're describing. Once with DD19 when she was 12-13ish & once with both kids when they were 11 & 15ish.

With DD19, I actually had her write a list of everything she thought I did for her. She literally wrote "you drive me to school" and "you drive me to my friends house." That was it, so that was ALL I did for her for two weeks. No homework help, no breakfast or lunch making, no laundry, no room tidying, no feeding her cats, etc. (I still made dinner, because I had to anyway.) She was MUCH more appreciative of all the piddly **** I do for her after that.

The other thing we had success with, that I've mentioned before, is I was over the top annoyingly sweet to them when they were being miserable ****es towards me. If I asked them to do something & they said no, I would respond in a high pitched voice, "oh thank you!!!!!! I really appreciate it! And yes you sure can empty the dishwasher after you empty the garbage cans!! Thanks so much!" I was crazed & it freaked them out & to this day I can say "oh wow!!! Thank you!! You sure can __________!!" and they freak. :p
 
focadima said:
my oldest was/is downright nasty to me--his mouth is vile

anyway..I have learned to ignore it or now that he is old enough I say " I dont want to hear that clean it up or go downstairs--upstairs etc..."

but ummmm stop doing everything for him--he expects you to

if he wears a short sleeve shirt--oh well he will be cold--he is not going to get pneumonia from not wearing a long sleeve shirt..
Click to expand...


COMPLETELY agree with this. My DS is a bear too...but I have learned over the years to pick my battles.

Drives Emmalee crazy "you TOLD HIM XYZ"....well, I am not going 8 rounds and getting angry and having him STILL not do it. I take the higher road (not easy....and many times doesn't matter).

His father is the opposite so they have a much harder time....he WILL fight over what shirt, which hat (DS has a hat that DH HATES)...I think what difference does that hat REALLY make?!?!!?

Shirts, hair, hats, shoes....eh...whatever.

BTW, if I said I wasn't making the ADDITIONAL snack, I wouldn't have done so either. :flowers::flowers::flowers:

I don't have the solution....DS is a bear and it kills me that he has emotionally HARD days and doesn't share or talk to me....he is ANGRY at the world and when I approach to talk he is like "just DON'T" sometimes DAYS later I will reapproach "leave it alone, MOM"

ok :pout: :pout: But I miss my baby.
 
Mrsmom, as long as the clothes aren't against school policy....or are an isse when you are out....eh....

I have been known to say "14, what can you do? He wanted flip flops?!!?"

If you are worried they are judging you...don't. Cause thatis what 14 does. Push the boudaries. If those boundaries are short sleeve shirts....offer him a muscle tee. Eventually he will get cold...or grow up. Probably won't be a problem when he is 30
 
DS 11 and DS14 wear short sleeve shirts all the time in the winter with no coat. OMG drives me insane, whatever if they want to be cold let them. They will eventually learn. Just feel like it makes me look like an **** as a parent.
 
dragonfly said:
Every time I see a teenager dressed for summer in the winter, I always think "**** kids." I NEVER think "horrible mother." :lol:
Click to expand...


Thank you for this! I have always felt that my kids' appearance is a direct result of my care for them.
 
Not once they are teens! Yes, when they are little I think they should look presentable & well maintained. But 13 & up? No way. Ain't nobody got time for that! ;) If they want to dress like a slovenly pig, knock yourself out for all I care. Soon enough they get it. It either gets them results or they change their ways. The only ones I judge are girls dressed like hookers & boys walking around with their boxers hanging out. THAT I do not understand. Sloppy boys? Eh, who cares?
 
mrsmom said:
Well it certainly has gotten worse, but he's brought me to tears for years now. He's horrible about EVERYTHING. He's nasty and defiant to me, his Dad his brother..............well he's down right mean to his brother. EVERYTHING is an argument. We can't even make it home after school without a screaming match in the car. As soon as he gets in the car he starts ****ing at me about everything. My other poor son is like "guys, guys...........not again". :pout:

He's been grounded from everything with a plug or battery for forever now. Doesn't faze him. I tell him to do something as simple as take the dog out or get his lunch box out of the car for me and he looks at me and says no. I get in his face and say "YES". He says I don't want to and walks away. If I pursue it, it becomes a nasty fight. I've tried smacking him and he looks at me and says "that didn't hurt". :faint: WTF?!!! :gah:

I seriously don't know WTF is wrong with him. :surrender: He's not like this ALL the time, but it does go in really long streaks. He's very respectful in school so I have to believe he can control when and to whom he acts like this to.

Everything from getting him to take a shower, cutting his nails, what he wears (he insists on wearing short sleeved shirts on bitter cold days because he knows it pisses me off and refuses to put on a long sleeved shirt), how long he takes a **** (he'll sit on the toilet for over an hour even though I keep screaming at him to get out), oh and trying to get his **** out of bed EVERY ****ING MORNING is a joke...........I could go on and on...............seriously EVERYTHING is a fight!!! :pms:
Click to expand...

Mrsmom, I hear your pain. I think we all go through it to some degree. I wake up to fighting between dh and ds almost daily and hear it every second when I get home from work. It's been like this pretty much since ds was 5. To add insult to injury, ds with Aspergers says what ever he wants because he doesn't even know he is being disrespectful. He thinks it's a freedom of speech issue and it's the law. It's a waste of time arguing because he truly doesn't understand. It's very frustrating and I want to run away most of the time. Hang in there, time really does help. You really do need to have the patience of a saint to put up with the **** they dish out to us moms who do freaking everything for them.
:flowers:
 
Nanny thank you.

Later tonight DS was a decent person............makes me feel even worse.
He was my first born, light of my life.................sigh..............

If someone would have told me I might feel like this of my sweet baby boy, I would've thought they were crazy!

Ok starting tomorrow, I am recommitting myself................sigh...........I don't really know what that means, but I will address the issues differently and see what happens.
 
mrsmom said:
Nanny thank you.

Later tonight DS was a decent person............makes me feel even worse.
He was my first born, light of my life.................sigh..............

If someone would have told me I might feel like this of my sweet baby boy, I would've thought they were crazy!

Ok starting tomorrow, I am recommitting myself................sigh...........I don't really know what that means, but I will address the issues differently and see what happens.
Click to expand...

Don't worry - he's still in there. You're his Mom and you'll figure out eventually how to talk to him or be tough on him or ignore him or whatever until there is a breakthrough, I really believe that. :flowers:
 
MoosieMan has a fever, and of COURSE my thermometer has an error code. Looked it up, and it means the POS malfunctioned. His ears are bright red and his whole body is sooo hot. I feel so bad for him :(
 
jonnysmomma said:
MoosieMan has a fever, and of COURSE my thermometer has an error code. Looked it up, and it means the POS malfunctioned. His ears are bright red and his whole body is sooo hot. I feel so bad for him :(
Click to expand...

Called my mom at work(she is an LPN) and asked her what to do. I already had a cold compress on his forehead, and she asked if I had any childrens tylenol or ibuprofen in the house...I didnt think I did but I found one that expired in January. Good enough. Woke him up and gave it to him. I seriously do not remember the last time he had a fever like this :( Looks like he wont be going to school for his Valentine's party tomorrow :(

Stripped him down to his skivvies and put a fresh compress on. My poor baby :(
 
I've watched DS sleep and remembered all the things I love and like about him...needed to remind myself of the good stuff.

Because when he was awake he was being such an **** :lol:

Hope today is better :foryou:
 
Hugs to everyone that needs them today.....and who doesn't need one once in a while!!!
Happy Valentines day!!!
:hug: :flowers:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top